Chester Bennington from Linkin Park, one of my childhood heroes, died recently and I think this
Hit me in such a weird way because I met the guy, a few months ago.
Chester, Dave.
Hi, Chester
Hi, how are you?
And this is Hannah.
When I read the confirmation that he had died, I just felt
Weird and disconnected. Like I didn't cry. I don't think that's how I deal with that kind of thing, judging from
Grandparents in the past and things like that, but it just- I just felt kind of like things were going fast
And I couldn't keep up. Don't know if I'm explaining myself very well, so this video is essentially my tribute to Chester Bennington.
Someone who,
Significantly shaped who I am. And it's not just like, that crazy talent he had for singing that I want to
Address in this video. The thing I'm going to focus on is mainly his personality, because I've been watching through the footage
I recorded when I met him and Mike Shinoda and
There have been some things that just jumped out at me
Which kind of exemplify what a good person he was
in a few different ways. Like, the most obvious one is his sense of humor, which I was...
I don't know, it was so unexpected from someone who was such a
Freaking rock star, to have such a silly sense of humor. And that was really inspiring to me.
Chester: Yeah, at one point, we were like-
"Let's make Polka music." [laughter]
Just to see, like, we're always trying- Mike: Oh, no, you know what it was?
It wasn't polka, it was, uh, it was that- that mariachi song. And I didn't know that..
Mariachi, like, like, some of my favorite hip-hop is very macho? Chester: You have to be macho to wear a suit
And a giant hat and like, play your bass up like this
And like- [Maniacal laughter]
That takes...
You gotta be a man, dude.
Sometimes like, there were a few moments where I was a bit awkward, because I don't normally interview people
I've been a fan of my entire life so clearly there were times when I would
I'd be slow to go on to the next topic or something
I just want to say thank you very much for putting me on the path doing my dream job
Chester: That's awesome. And you pretty much made my life. You know, I'll say
Anything like that. I mean, I have no problem taking credit for all your accomplishments.
Dave: He just felt friendly,
Despite the fact that we'd never met. Perhaps the strangest, most reassuring part of this was just
How many people messaged me asking if I was okay, because...
people associated me with Chester after that video, and it was-, it was a crazy number of messages, like I
Haven't had this much since I came back after not posting anything at all for a year
I had friends that I hadn't talked to in years
messaging me like even through awkward situations where we hadn't really resolved problems. This took priority and I guess that's the
One positive side to this, is that it showed that people really can be caring
It's a reminder of your priorities, and I think that's why I made this.
Like I initially I had no idea what I would say that wouldn't have been said by a million other people
After thinking about it,
there is value to saying the same obvious things that other people are saying. If you've got a friend who is
struggling with depression, for instance,
Perhaps if one friend says it to them
They might be 10 percent more likely to go and see that therapist
If two people say it, perhaps it's 20 percent
and if they see
Someone make a video of it, perhaps that goes up a few extra percent.Saying obvious things is sometimes important, I think.
One thing I did think was a bit more specific that I could mention, was I've been researching for a video on a
Topic called stratified medicine. Basically it uses your DNA to inform
medical decisions. So for instance, if you're suffering from depression they'll take your DNA and tell you "Okay,
You are likely to respond to this, this and this medication, uh, this one
which is normally commonly prescribed, isn't likely to help you, in fact, it could potentially harm you." If you're struggling and
You tried a lot of stuff already
That's something you can google. One thing that struck me when looking back at the footage, was how thoughtful
he is. For instance, as soon as he and Mike came through the door I
started chatting to Mike he went and got a chair to sit down so that
Everyone would be clearly visible in the camera, me being the complete
Novice at this like I hadn't thought "oh crap,
We're not going to be able to see everyone in the camera properly if I sit here", but he just kind of helped out
He just got the chair and sat down and didn't think much of it
and I didn't realize that until
afterwards just little things like that. Another example would be when we were recording some people were talking outside the room and
He- (chuckle) he yelled-
Chester: "Hey, shut the fuck up out there!
Geez... they're so fucking loud, like you know I mean?"
Just being silly, but like it was he
Thought that like that was a problem
He chose to fix it, in a silly way,
But also he thought those people should be more respectful that we were filming something. It seemed like he had a pretty strong sense of...
Um...
Being respectful of other people. One thing that frustrates me is when I see people commenting saying "He had six kids,
How could he do this to his kids? How could he do this to his family?" And that's completely
Discounting how mental health can consume you and it makes you illogical
And it makes you do things that do not make sense and do not reflect who you care about, he could not help
What he was going through. While my instinct is to be angry at these people
they just had not been educated... so it's important to remain calm and
to try your best to educate these people, to listen to their perspective and to try and
explain
Why they're incorrect. I was talking to someone recently who said she was trying to deal with her mental health
issues by herself
And she said she didn't want to get anyone else's help
Because she wanted to prove to herself that she could do it alone. A lot of people
I feel think this, but it's so unhealthy, and it's so illogical, it doesn't make you less strong.
It's like you're saying you're less strong because you use the internet to talk to your friends as opposed to
walking to them every time. Just because we now know ways to
Improve our mental health that involves getting help from external sources
Doesn't make you a worse person or a weaker person it just means you understand that these things can help you and you are just
Like anyone else. Treat yourself like you would treat your friend. A lot of people would say to their friends to get help
But then they would never do it themselves, but don't face that hypocrisy in themselves
I'm incredibly glad to have met Chester before he died. I posted a picture on Twitter after having met him and
Said how cool it was to have met him and he responded
I think it was like, "Right back at ya homie" or something. He did not have to respond to that. Think how many freaking
Thousands of interviews this guy has gone through and yet, he was still friendly enough to reply to that.
It was an incredibly considerate person. I'm glad he got to have such an interesting life
He clearly had the ability to make his friends laugh too..there were things. He was saying that made Mike laugh really hard
While we were hanging out
Chester: It doesn't matter if you tell me you don't like it.
Some people like sea urchin.
I think it tastes like
licking the pavement and then
Ball sacks, right, like it can taste like dirty ballsacks
Do you have to sensor that? is your channel have a rating?
There's probably some fantastic ballsacks out there, so you mix it with pavement
I'm not gonna like it, okaaay?
Mike: Up until this point
My kids could watch this video on youtube
Dave: I'll give you the timecode. Chester: How do you know I'm not talking about a
a, a sack that you would... Oh, like at school?
Chester: Yeah, dude, geez...Gosh, I didn't say
"Testicles"
*Everyone laughs*
There it is!
See, Mike's brain, dude
He's like, in the gutter all the time.
I can't imagine what the band
Is going through. What his family and friends are going through, but even if what I'm experiencing isn't as intense as what they're experiencing
It's still real
I don't know...it feels weird making this. I don't know. There's a part of me that feels kind of like a fraud making this
Because I feel so disconnected, but I do care. I clearly- I care about this person
It's frustrating that I don't feel more than I do...
..In circumstances like this, I don't know, a positive spin on that
It just sucks
Perhaps the positive spin is that if other people experience it, maybe they don't feel quite as alone
you're not a bad person if you didn't cry
in addition to that, like, what of
From what I've read since then, he was very honest about talking about having depression
And talking about how he was abused as a child and these are not easy things to bring up
particularly when a lot of people respect what you have to say
and that makes me think of, there's like this whole thing of, if you if you're talking about depression
Then that's kind of solving it like that, but that's all you have to do you just got to talk about it
But it's not that, it's talking about it has different effects to different people. So for some people perhaps
It significantly helps for other people perhaps it puts them on the right track to finding
What could help and to other people perhaps? It doesn't do anything at all and that really sucks
That's just one of those things. That's like
you don't really want to talk about it because it might discourage people from trying, but it's worth trying and
Talking to different people might help. One thing I've been thinking a lot about is how I tried therapy when I was really
Struggling during the year that I didn't release anything on YouTube was the worst year of my life
This has made me perhaps think that seeing one therapist isn't enough
Perhaps, it's worth trying a few different therapists perhaps
Different types of people have different effects on you
So now I'm considering who else I can see. I've not met many people who have subsequently died. Particularly young people
Like, he was in his 40s?
It's crazy young. And from what I understand, he was really close friends to Chris Cornell who had died a few months earlier
not long after I interviewed Chester.
There's a part of me that worries that this is a kind of an epidemic thing because, when one person does it you might
Make it seem like an option to more people. There is a problem at the moment in
Society with men particularly committing suicide at a worrying rate. I haven't researched it enough to be able to give any
specific reasoning as to why this might be
There's all kinds of reasons, perhaps it's to do with not feeling like you're growing enough, or whatever it is
Sometimes there might not even be any reason whatsoever
Which is one of the worst, I would imagine, aspects of depression, when you just feel that
Sad
Constantly perhaps the best way to end this would be to say
One of their songs on their new album
The title song, 'One More Light', is about specifically addressing that,
that thought, that "Who cares if one more person dies> people die all the time." And
Saying "I care" and it's still important, it matters, even if it's just one small life
it's still important, and I was listening to that song and
Whereas previously, I was struggling to find an appreciation for it because it was very different to
What I what
I normally listen to. Now I have a context to appreciate that. He was a huge advocate for trying things that you wanted to try
Even if other people disagreed with you because that's what makes you grow, and that's what makes you
And that's what makes you happy. Chester: When you set up like, an expectation,
And I think about music, there's always a sense of anticipation, like, what they gonna do next?
What it's going to sound like? And you're starting up, like, building this idea, what that might be, and when it's not that thing is like 'aah'
What is that? Interestingly enough, in terms to our music, it's kind of been that way for every song no matter
What kind of style it is, for us, with a lot of people. It's funny, because like, it's always a couple albums later
Like, where someone is mad about the new thing we're doing, and then someone who was mad at something
We did a long time ago, was like, "Hey dude,
Like, I felt that way about A Thousand Suns, man, but now that's one of my favorite records! Give it time!"
You know it's like, really cool.
I think a lot of people think that we may get upset about people responding in a weird way to us
Dave: You can expect it. Chester: Yeah, it's like, dude. Like, you don't like-, Look, we make music for *us*, to
Make us happy and to get out
Something internally or to talk about something or, or to learn something new or try something different creatively to like
Feed that beast in us.
I think it would really suck if we worked on something
We weren't sure about and we're convinced to do it by external forces. Dave: Has that happened before? Chester: No.
But I'm saying like, imagine- Mike: They tried. There was a guy at the label
Who said, you know, "You guys need a gimmick," like, this was on our first record before
Anybody had ever heard of the band, and "Oh, you need a gimmick, like you need- Joe could, for example
Dress up in a cowboy hat and a lab coat and we were just like- Chester: "Chester could kick his shoe off at every show." [laughter]
That's his thing, like, just during a part of the show, like,
Fucking just kicked his shoe off. Like, if there was an external force going "Do this, do this, it's going to be great, trust me!"
"If you do this, people will love it, do this, people will love it!", and we're like okay,
But like, we kinda want to do this, but I guess we'll do that, and then people hate it? We'd be like
"FUCK!"
Like, "GOD!"
"We've never done that!" If a hundred percent of the world
when we put out a
song, only we wouldn't put out any of our songs, if a hundred percent of the world turned around and said like
"We hate this song, this is the worst song that has ever been made!"
Okay, literally, it literally, it offends everyone. It offends the entire population! This is a low point in history, in music,
Dave: Like, *I* like it! Mike: Yeah! And at the very least I can go "Oh, well, like..." Chester: Or the answer can be like,
"Not everybody!" Yeah, yeah! Oh! I like it!
I'm the guy!
There are lots of really admirable things about the way he thought.
Yeah, I'm glad I got the chance to meet him.
I think we can all afford to be a bit more like Chester Bennington. To be a bit sillier, and a bit
more thoughtful, and respectful, and
[laughing] To be crazy-talented rap metal singers! He had a hell of a voice
I'm glad I can listen to that...