-We're gonna talk about aging in society.
I think it's a -- a major driving force.
The drive to stay young and the devaluing of age
and -- and the beauty that wrinkles bring,
and the wisdom and all of that.
-We really don't take care of the elderly in this country,
and it's -- it's really sad.
Our culture's very now.
We don't value their -- their history.
-I think people are very discriminatory about old people.
You know, they don't want to get old
so they try to shuffle them aside.
And, you know, it's just a culture
of good-looking people,
Abercrombie & Fitch, you know?
-I think everyone is afraid of aging,
actually, especially women.
I see a lot of old people by themselves.
They're alone. They're always alone.
And I don't want to be alone.
-Since I turned 30, I instantly started thinking about aging.
And I just got super terrified all of a sudden.
Right now, like, I run a magazine.
I feel like I'm, like, helping women.
I'm like, "What happens when that's,
like, taken away from me?
Or am I gonna be just discarded?"
-I was thinking I don't have a fear of aging.
But it is the fear of becoming invisible.
And I think it's very --
they're, like, becoming kind of one and the same
in our society. That terrifies me.
-I'm definitely, definitely worried about it.
You feel like doors aren't as open to you when you get older.
I almost feel like if I don't achieve certain things
by the time I'm 30 that doors are closed to me.
-Am I gonna have a career and am I gonna have a husband?
And, like, at this point am I gonna make it work, you know?
And, like, well, I don't have someone yet.
And, like, well, what if I'm 30 and,
you know, or what if I'm 33 and I don't have someone?
Or when am I gonna have a kid?
Or, like, is it normal for me to want to have a kid
in 3 years or should I be worried
that I have to have a career first and then do this?
And, like, those questions are kind of,
I think, all surround that idea
of getting older in a physical way, right?
Like, this idea of your maternal clock,
or your biological clock.
-It wasn't until this last year
that my mother started prodding me about babies.
And she also told me that for the last couple of years
she's been buying baby clothes for my future children,
which is really weird.
-We get out of our age of fertility
and then what makes us beautiful?
-As a woman you feel like, you know, you're not --
not gonna be as pretty.
You're gonna miss being, like, an object of sexual desire,
which is kind of terrible to say,
but, you know, it feels nice to feel pretty.
-The most unattractive times in women
when you're looking at aging versus beauty
is those women who are just trying to look young.
Like, they're not trying to look beautiful.
They're just trying to look young.
-Right. -And it totally
augments their whole being, like, the way
the carry themselves. They just want to look young.
And, like, youth is beautiful, but, like, in it's time.
There's, like, a variety of different people
within my family who have, like, had -- Like, women --
that have, like, had plastic surgery and, like,
face lifts and, you know, breast implants.
And some of them are really happy with it
and some of them will talk to you and be like,
"You know, now that I'm 50, like, I actually feel like
this is, like, a alien part of me.
Like it's not actually part of me
and I wish that I could remove it.
I wish I could've told my 22-year-old self,
like, 'You don't need to do that.'"
-Totally honesty, I have considered plastic surgery.
I do this sometimes in the mirror and it looks old.
It'd be nice to lift that, right?
But I hate the idea of touching --
Going under the knife.
The only reason anyone would think about doing that
is the pressures of society.
-I see laugh lines as really beautiful.
I've always thought crow's feet were, like,
one of the prettiest things that you could have.
The only way you can get crow's feet is from smiling.
And wrinkles on your nose, uh, It's a Duchenne smile.
It's actually a steady neurological smile.
That's a -- a happy smile.
Someone who has lines right here.
And people perceive that as to be a joyful person.
So it's like we avoid all of those laugh lines,
but really when we got older and we see those on people,
we're like, "Wait, that is what's beautiful."
-I think I like being who I am.
And being who I am right now has some wrinkles attached,
and that's okay.
-What are some pieces of advice that we have for people
that are afraid of dying or afraid of death
or maybe watching their parents or grandparents go through that?
-It's the one thing we all go through.
It's the one thing we all have in common.
-I fear in getting older
that I wouldn't live a purposeful life.
So I hope that everyday I can --
I can just live fully and --
and continue to be conscious of how I can always better myself
and better those around me
and create just a warm environment.
-I think a lot of the fear of death
is the fear of becoming invisible,
of not existing, of losing the ego.
And I think that, um,
what I would like to believe death is and --
and what I feel in my bones it -- it is,
is not so much losing of the ego
but a gaining of the everything else.
And I think that if we can --
If I can hold that idea, then the older I get,
the closer I get to the everything else.
And then it is that you add as you age,
as opposed to losing.
-I am less and less afraid of aging.
Because as I age, I become more and more serene.
And I discover all kinds of things I can do
that I could not do when I was younger.
After a while I decided I liked myself the way I am.
And it -- I find the pressures of society are less.
-The older you get, for me, anyway, the less afraid I am.
Because what's the worst that could happen?
I could die.
Big deal, I'm gonna die, you know?
In the meantime, think of all the adventures I can have.
Think of what I can do.
Think of the people I can meet or the places I can go.
I'm not afraid.
-My mother tells me to use up the day.
Open the windows, take a walk, be the best I can be.
Wherever it takes me, go.
Come home and spread and the story.
Mary Sue is 60.
I've never met her, but I know she's stunning.
Told me that most of her life is behind her.
Is supposed to have all the answers by now,
but is just figuring out the question.
Says she doesn't want to waste a moment.
Her body hurts some days. And boobs?
Boobs really do head south.
She teaches yoga and married the right man.
She remembers where her keys are.
Says 60 is great and awful
and wonderful and big.
Tells me to claim my space,
not to accept anyone who cannot love me fully.
Says to never fear.
Tessa?
Well, Tessa is eight.
Says she never really thinks about the future.
Doesn't think about getting married or high school, even.
She is just happy to play.
At 19, Melora thought everything would be a party.
She is tired and overworked already.
Between college, a boyfriend, and her job,
she is tired already.
Nancy? Nancy is perfectly Puerto Rican.
Uses sounds to triangulate her position.
At 46 says, "Aging is f-cked up."
You're as smart as you're ever gonna be
just as your body is breaking down.
Says she would've been more insane
about skin care and not smoking.
Says she would have been more adventurous.
Married the love of her life last week.
Married a woman in an age
where marrying the person you love is still up for debate.
She is nothing if not adventurous. I'd say.
When I was 10, I couldn't wait to be an adult.
I'm told I am one now,
but I mostly play hide-and-seek with my responsibilities,
find myself under the covers waiting for tomorrow to come.
But I have --
I have kissed most of the lips I've wanted to.
I have loved most of the people I needed to.
I tempt fearlessness often
and remember to count my blessings.
My grandmother would have been 100 by now.
Her mother grew up at the tail end of slavery.
My grandmother spent time as a maid.
I've made a living speaking my mind.
I am reminded of a poet, my friend, Mayda del Valle.
She wrote, "Ain't nothin' new under the sun.
Ain't nothin' new about death and dying,
about lowering a body into the ground.
Ain't nothin' new about regrets."
And I felt that.
See, when you're old enough to feel the gravity
of your existence, choices must be balanced.
New shoes or rent?
A beach day or overtime?
Ice cream or healthy digestion?
Aging is not for the faint of heart.
It's about grabbing this moment
because it's the only one you've got.
About picking yourself back up and hoping not to fall again.
It's about faith and trust
and love, forgiveness, and growth.
It's about keeping your word
and attempting to be a good person.
This life is about making damn sure when your final breath
comes you have said and done everything
you needed to so that when you meet your maker
all this is left to be said is, "Thank you."