[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
Welcome to Full Frontal.
I am Samantha Bee.
Oh, my gosh.
You are so nice.
While these amazing kids were providing the leadership
on guns we sorely need, our actual leaders
continue to do nothing but hope that the news
cycle will move on.
Oh, thoughts and prayers, guys.
They're proving to be as tone deaf
as a guy who owns all of Mike Huckabee's albums.
That's too mean.
You know, say what you want about Huckabee's music,
but his son did murder a dog.
Of course, pundits think they know
the real reason we can't have "not riddled with bullet holes"
things.
You have a Congress that is bought
and sold and owned by the special interests--
that is the NRA.
A majority have been bought and owned by the NRA.
Bought and paid for by the NRA.
They're not completely wrong.
Politicians are bought, and they're pretty cheap.
You can buy Ted Cruz for just four
cans of Chunky Soup and a promise
to come to his improv show.
But tracking how the NRA actually influences lawmakers
is a little more complicated than buy and sell.
REPORTER: The explosion of money that the NRA is spending
in elections, most of it-- the yellow part-- most of it
is outside spending, meaning not directly to the candidates.
This is why the NRA is so feared in Congress.
It all has to do with the ad spending.
A "Washington Post" analysis finds the NRA ads were critical
in several battleground states, including North Carolina, Ohio,
and Pennsylvania.
Guns don't kill political careers--
the NRA does, and lawmakers are scared stiff of attack ads
like this one.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[PHONE BUZZING]
[MESSAGE SIGNAL]
[CLANG] [BANG]
WOMAN (ON VIDEO): It happens like that.
The police can't get there in time,
but Mary Landrieu voted to take away your gun rights.
Defend your freedom.
Defeat Mary Landrieu.
Oh, my god.
Mary Landrieu is outside and she's gonna kill your family.
Why did your husband go to Miami on the full moon?
That's when Mary Landrieu hungers.
And it works.
Lawmakers know they have to appear to be
faithful disciples of the NRA.
Look, I get it.
I'd never say that Ted Turner's mustache
looks like a bed skirt.
My job is too important to me.
H of us know the NRA is a lobbying group for gun
manufacturers, but to its hard-core members,
it is more than that.
J. WARREN CASSIDY (ON VIDEO): The base of the National Rifle
Association believes so strongly, it's more a religion
or what a religion used to be.
Yes, the NRA is like a religion, specifically
the best religion--
Scientology.
Now look, I am not saying that Scientology and gun culture
are exactly the same.
I mean, for one, Scientology's got way better songs.
[MUSIC - "WE STAND TALL"]
Hey la-di-la, hey la-di we stand tall.
Oh, yes.
Oh, Scientologists.
Any group that has Tom Cruise as its figurehead
cannot call themselves tall.
You know, at first I thought it was ridiculous to compare
these two organizations, but then I
did a Google Image Search and I thought,
maybe there is something here.
Both of these cults are based on fanciful myths
that when repeated enough, their otherwise intelligent followers
start to believe.
One says that 75 million years ago, an intergalactic warlord
nuked billions of people in volcanoes,
and then there's the really crazy
myth that guns have nothing to do with gun violence.
Both organizations despise the media.
Scientology has no greater enemy than the press, except maybe
whoever's in charge of painting on John Travolta's hair,
and the NRA attacks the media with glammed-up spokes-Glock,
Dana Loesch.
They use their media to assassinate real news.
To every lying member of the media, to the Joy-Ann Reids,
the Morning Joes, the Mikas--
to those who are stain honest reporting with partisanship,
to those who bring bias and propaganda to CNN,
the "Washington Post," and "The New York Times,"
your time is running out.
Well, why didn't she mention the Samantha Bees?
We think she's awful, too.
Both the NRA and Scientology also
have delusions of grandeur.
The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun
is a good guy with a gun.
Being a Scientologist, when you drive past an accident,
it's not like anyone else.
As you drive past, you know you have to do something about it,
because you know you're the only one that can really help.
Oh, if I had known how crazy Tom Cruise is,
I wouldn't have wasted so many nights
making out with his picture.
Both of these messianic calls push the narrative that only
they can save the world, but if you join them,
you can share in their power.
They'll make you a superhero, whether that means healing
the sick with your mind or making a kill
shot on a mass murderer despite being unable to even hit
the toilet bowl when you're taking a leak,
and the only thing you need to do to get that awesome power is
keep buying things from them.
Scientologists may spend hundreds of thousands
of dollars on all the books, courses, and E-meters
that the church presses them to buy.
Well, NRA members are constantly told
to buy guns, ammo, accessories, even gun-related home
furnishings, so you're always ready to blow
someone away in style.
Oh, that's so weird.
Why would he put a gun in his tactical sandwich cubby?
Sleeping makes me so hungry.
Fortunately, much like Scientology,
the money-making scheme that is the NRA
is starting to crack under scrutiny.
Corporate America is slowly pushing back against the gun
lobby's demands.
Last fall in the NRA's home state of Virginia, Democrats
swept all of the state's major offices
after campaigning against the organization,
and in Florida, we're seeing slight concessions
to gun control from Governor Rick Scott--
a fiercely pro-gun Republican and America's only
elected official who also happens to be half bullet.
It's not easy, but you can break free from this brainwashing
cult, so if any NRA members are hate-watching us right now,
there is hope.
NRA members, we're calling on you to break free from the NRA
and join Scientology instead.
Scientology can fill all the holes in your soul
that the NRA currently does.
It will bless you with fear, power
fantasies, a creepily ageless leader, and merch.
Is Scientology safe?
[SCOFFING] Oh, of course not.
It's bonkers, but it's like, safer for the rest of us,
so if it keeps you from feeling like you
need to load up on AR-15s then hail Xenu or whatever the fuck.
Who needs a rifle to defend themselves when as an OT-7,
you could blow someone away with your brain?
Pew.
That's the stopping power of Scientology.
Hey, buddy.
I know you like to be part of something
small and universally dis--