(intense, fast-paced music)
(radio noise)
- [News Anchor] We are getting reports
of infection now on every continent.
The EU has frozen borders
as more deaths are-- - [Woman] Turn that off.
I think I've got something.
- [Man] Thank God.
- Take a look at that protein structure.
From what I can see, the virus will be lethal in all cases,
but, it will only affect
(intense music)
Baby Boomers.
- Oh.
Huh.
- Huh.
- Well that's--
- Yeah.
- So you're saying this virus will only affect
people between the ages of 55 and 75.
- That's what it looks like.
Truly horrible.
Right?
- Yes, that's a lot of people.
Who own a lot of property.
- So, you're saying we could finally afford to buy houses?
- I honestly, I thought that was never gonna happen.
- I mean--
- But at what cost?
- Carnage.
On an unimaginable scale.
- Unimaginable.
(dramatic music)
(stutters)
Unimaginable (laughs) I mean I'm imagining it right now.
- We should do something.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, mhmm.
- You're imagining it too though, aren't you?
(pop)
- You know, God, yes I am!
Ugh, just think of the change it would make in politics!
- We could clean out like 80% of the Republican party.
(sighs)
Fox News is donezo.
- And we could finally get something done
about climate change.
- Now, there's an argument,
and I am of course not making it,
but there's an argument that climate change
is actually more dangerous than this virus.
- Because climate change affects everyone.
- Exactly.
- And the virus just affects Boomers.
- You got me. - Exactly, yes!
Yes!
Uh huh.
But, this is our parents we're talking about.
- Yes, our aunts, our uncles.
What would the holidays be like without the nation's uncles?
- I wouldn't have to worry about them
liking pictures of me in my swimsuits from years ago.
- Ugh.
(clicking tongue)
- My parents I would miss though.
- Yeah. - Yeah!
- That would be sad. - Yeah, so sad.
- We could put up a statue.
- A nice one with flowers and a plaque.
- With their favorite poem. - Aww.
- And that would actually be very beautiful.
- Yeah!
- I'm not like-- - Yeah.
- Actual. - Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
(kissing sound)
We should cure this though.
- Yeah, I'll call Dr. Struthers.
- Ugh, God, Dr. Struthers.
Jesus, he sucks!
- How hard is it to figure out the WiFi, my dude?
- He thinks we're all IT.
I'm a literal doctor, he calls me sweetheart.
- He's what, like 60?
- Yeah, he's constantly talking about 'the summer of love,'
as if he was at Woodstock and not
studying biology at SUNY Cortland.
(squeaking)
We could tell him on Monday.
- I mean hey, nobody wants to get a pile
of work thrown at 'em on a Friday, right?
- No, never!
And then, Monday morning, we'll all come back
and we'll get to work really hard
on finding a cure for this horrible virus.
- I mean, we're gonna be 55 too, someday,
it'll affect us, right?
- It will, and we don't deserve this.
We aren't the ones who decided to enrich ourselves
by clearing out the social safety net
and killing the planet,
all while smugly wielding this unearned
superiority complex over everyone else.
- No, we created social media!
- And the gig economy.
- We're great. - We're great!
- Come on.
(sighs)
How do microscopes work? - I dunno.