Heya playa, are you in middle school and struggling with trying to convince your parents to let
you start dating?
It can be super tough to do, especially if they're not firmly convinced that you're ready
to start doing it.
You're not alone here.
In this video I'm gonna share a few tips to help you help your parents change their mind.
This is The Josh Speaks.
You're watching The Josh Speaks.
When it comes to dating in middle school it's a very different process from how you would
date someone in high school, college or any other stage of your life.
Dating in middle school can take on many different forms.
You can have an in-school only relationship, an online relationship on Snapchat or Instagram
or they might be someone you actually hang out with in person.
That's why if you're trying to convince your parents to let you start dating it's important
to have a conversation with them as to what you might mean when you say you want to start
dating.
Letting your parents know what you guys plan on doing together helps them have a much better
feeling and understanding of what you guys plan on doing when you start dating.
For example, let's say what you mean by dating is hanging out with that person at lunch time
and seeing them from time to time in between classes.
That might be a lot easier for your parents to get behind because it's only in school.
Where as if you guys plan on hanging out alone, outside of school, going to the movies, and
doing stuff like that, your parents might have different rules depending on those circumstances.
It's important to understand what their idea of dating means too because at the end of
the day your parents want to look out for you and they want to make sure you're not
getting into something that's gonna hurt you.
They might be afraid that you're gonna get your heart broken, that you might get used
or that you might end up in a situation that's more physical than they want it to be at your
age.
I know, it's not an easy conversation to have and it might end up being super awkward.
But clearing up the vagueness around the word "dating" for you and your parents will definitely
help you in the long run.
Try to find out what age they think is appropriate for you to start dating.
And you can even ask them what age they started dating at so you can have a better understanding
of where they're coming from.
The more open the conversation dialogue is, the easier it'll be to win over their approval
because you're showing them that you're being mature about it.
What you don't want to do is get super annoyed, upset or fight with them about it because
what you're showing them is that you're not ready to handle big decisions and big outcomes
like this.
One major concern that a lot of parents have is that dating in middle school might affect
your performance in school.
This can be common sometimes for middle schoolers, it's easy to get swept away in the idea of
dating someone.
To think about it 24/7 and to forget about homework.
That's not to say you personally are not capable of balancing both things, I don't doubt that
for a minute but sometimes parents don't understand that, so it's important to recognize that
if it is a concern for them to not just push it off and think it's silly, but to really
hear it out.
Dating though requires two people in the equation, and just like you're trying to convince your
parents to let you date, the other person should be doing the same.
If the parents of the person that you want to date are on board with the idea then that
might help give you leverage when you talk to your own parents and explain to them, "hey,
everyone here is on the same page".
But, try your best to not lie to your parents here, it can be easy to get caught up in the
web of lies and weirdness that comes with hiding things, but if your parents find out
they may lose all their trust for you.
Ultimately at the end of the day, if your parents just say no then I know that it sucks
but try to trust their judgment on them.
If you or the person that you like are not allowed to date then what I would suggest
doing is building a strong friendship with them.
By doing this, you can spend the next year or few years depending on how long you have
to wait to start dating building a solid friendship with them so that when you guys do end up
dating, you guys already know each other.
If you look at what the core of dating is, it's really just getting to know the other
persons interests, what makes them laugh and what they enjoy about life.
And those are all things that you don't have to date someone to find out about them.
You can learn that out right now, so if you have to wait till high school or even later,
don't stress out too much about it.
When it's finally time for you to date, you guys can just jump right into it because you've
already built a strong foundation for what a relationship can be.
What do you think though, are you having trouble trying to convince your parents to let you
start dating in middle school?
Leave a comment below and we'll talk about it.
For me in middle school, my parents didn't really mind that I had female friends that
were girls that I would just hang out with.
They just wanted to make sure that I wasn't doing anything too crazy.
I'm sure your parents feel the same way.
So as long as there's an open and honest conversation going on between you and them, convincing
them might not be that hard after all.
As always guys, love and peace.