Koko, NOW vat have you done?
I don't know vat you mean...
Augh!
Ok, ya, I know vat you mean...
How could you do zis to us?
We were destined to be ze most prolific German organization ZE VURLD HAS EVER SEEN!
Oh, mein got!
You're ze Mister Sabotage Rooster, aren't you?!
Look, just because I have a problem with YOU
doesn't mean I'm trying to kill everyvon, VILHELM.
Maybe we should try serapy, ya?
It vurked for me!
You know, zis job is very stressful
You are always on ze road, you're avay from your family
we're killing lots of peopul
I don't need counselling,
I need someone who can listen to mein problems
not someone who gets all SHOUTY SHOUTY and tells me when to jump!
Zat's out of line!
Just like ven you tried to do mein choreography,
but you don't even take time to LEARN it!
*sobbing*
Look, I've put up with a LOT with this band through the years
but now Koko says no no.
Ein quit!
*gasps*
*speaks "German"*
You know, I can still hear you?!
And I speak German!
*knocking*
I told you, you didn't have to come.
Canadians stick together!
Plus tonight's episode of Luge Wars: Polar Bears vs. Grizzlies was a rerun
so, what the feck else am I s'posed to do, eh?
Literally anything else!
I don't want any Girl Scout cookies, I...
Wait a minute...
...early morning Moose Knuckle?
It's most certainly the Germans, sir.
It could just be one of them but we need to find ALL of them.
However, they've just canceled all their tour dates after their New York show...
Ahh..
Two things:
First of all,
of course they cancelled their tour dates; they broke up.
It's all over MTV.
Live in the fucking now.
Secondly, you can't call the Germans "bad guys.
That's stereotyping and I won't stand for it.
Now, would you ladies like some maple syrup or something else?
We're full up, sir.
What should we do, chief. You want me to gut the Germans as an example?
Cause I'll feckin' do it.
Not necessary.
You see, Annersby created a system for just such an event;
It's called the Rooster Wire™... although I refer to it as the Cock Line™.
It can compress data into an image
that can be read by a small child or even a stupid person.
It's the perfect way to send a customized message.
By fax.
Annersby really isn't very good at his job, is he?
Gee, that's great, sir
but what about the Germans, I'm ready to gut
Just try their office in Berlin...
See if you can go find some clues to their whereabouts...
... while I work on my Cock Line™.
The Germans... are... the killer... moles...
*fax modem dial-up noise*
I've got it in my sights...
*gasp*
Zere's still plenty of vine left in this bottle!
Ah, salut!
Sanks for letting me stay here, I just needed to get avay.
You're welcome in my home, anytime.
Anytime.
It's like, uh...
We're just a couple 'a young guys
hangin' out, y'know? Shootin' the breeze.
talkin' about chicks... and...
y'know... the Star Wars...
*fax modem sounds*
Vat is it?
It's a transmission... on the Rooster Wire™.
Huh...
Wilhelm
We need to have a conversation
How come you didn't tell me
... the German headquarters have a... rodent problem, huh?
Do you need an exterminator?
I know a guy, I could'a helped you, you could'a come to me as a friend.
I think... the Germans...
...have a calcium deficiency in their bones...
... and need to drink more mole's milk...
I dunno...
... you seem pretty durable to me!
Oh, hmm
Such a vaste of paper --
I told them we're taking messages exclusively by Vine, now...
Yas, ya a like the papur...
Paper's fun 'cause you get papercuts -- I like papercuuuuts
You can just leave now.
...by the way...
OK, fine ah'll go....
Oh and also we to--
-- did he jus' nick my teapot?
Ok, so you're going to vant to order your spandex from Kegelheimer's, ya?
Yeah, okay?
It gives you more stretch over ze buns,
it gives you a little bit of a POP
Ooh! I like that pop! *modem noise*
...Looks like they want the Germans to check their moles, they could be cancerous.
Melanoma is a legitimate concern.
*modem noise*
The Germans ah sending poisoned mahsupials into our gahdens
That must mean...
They're the bad goys!
Thanks fe stoppin' by, mate
Oh, sank you for having me in your home to let me unwind
Yeah, no worries
It gets lonelier than a roo's pocket out 'ere in the outback
I'm just..
CRIKEY!
You're gunna hit the Xbux!
Jiff...
Did you just le' a potential assassin murderer into our house and let 'im ge' away?
No!
Maybe...
I'll take care of it, as usual.
'll take care of the Xbux...
So far there's nothing but beer steins an' leather, eh?
No addresses!
Wait a second, here's something!
Some type of... medical history.
Seems someone went through extensive hypnotherapy to help with the rigors of the tour
and after a four word command
would become extremely relaxed and ready to execute any programmed orders
Programmed to take orders...
like a sleeper agent?
Oh, shoot! You're right!
The German's aren't the bad guys, they've just been brainwashed!
Well,
As long as Wilhelm doesn't hear these four random words before we find him,
Everything should be fine!
Starting with...
"Chalice"...
Hey Wilhelm, you're lookin' a lil low, why don't you take a drink outta my...
CHALICE
And then... "Clock"...
Ah... the ordeuvres are ready
good thing I have this...
CLOCK
"Hippo"...
Look a' this.. I almost tripped on this...
HIPPO
And finally...
"Wiener"...
The food's ready
Here... Why don't you try a...
SAUUUUUUUSAAAAAAAAAAAAGE
Ah! Danke!
Mm!
Yeah, they're good!
They're vunderbar!
Hey!
Did I ever tell ya that my favorite breed of dog...
is a WIENER?
Augh! Koko! Vhy did you call us all the vay here to Italy?
Didn't you see the fax?!
Everyone thinks that ve're the bad guys!
Again!
We have to regroup with Vilhelm before we go to the-
(Wilhelm scream)
Oh my God, zat was Vilhelm's scream!
Oh! Oh! OOHH!
Wilhelm! Wilhelm, stop!
(GASP)
Look, I know you're angry about ze band breaking up.
But zis is not ze way to handle it.
Someone is trying to kill us!
And we need to stick togezher!
Italian accent: Why you disrespect me?
I guess what I'm trying to say is that
you were right!
Oh. No! You were right.
I understand now.
Vhat it feels like to not have any control.
To have someone decide vhat you vant, and not even care about your needs.
Or listen.
Italian accent: Why'd you do this?
I guess vhat I'm trying to say is I'm ready to listen!
(dying noises and gurgling)
I'm so sorry, Koko.
I was overbearing for even German standards!
Does- does this mean...ze boys...are back togezher?!
Ja! I think it does!
Hands in, boys!
Ein! Svei! Drei!
REUNION TOUR!
Darn it, I'm too late!
(beeping)
Mission report, Moose!
Sir? Bernardo's dead.
We're dropping like poisoned beavers out here.
Damn it!
No more games, Moose.
(sigh) I'd hoped this would sort itself.
I wanted to stay out.
Teetering on the tip.
But the Big Cock can't do just the tip.
He's got to be...
...all in.