You know, you might not know this.
But we actually rehearse this show.
[SNICKERS] Sometimes it seems like we don't.
But we do.
I come out, and, you know, I try out
what I'm going to talk about.
And the director tells me where to stand,
and the writers tell me what to say.
And then I come out and do whatever I want,
because they're not the boss of me.
So we test things out, and Twitch comes out,
and he dances.
And so yesterday, Twitch did a dance
that I hadn't seen before.
And I asked him what it was.
[R&B MUSIC PLAYING]
We can get rowdy before the night is up.
We can get-- we can get--
Actually, that wasn't rehearsal.
That was just a really slow day for us.
There was-- nobody showed up.
Um, so anyway, I asked what that dance was,
and he said it's called the Orange Justice.
Do you know the dance--
yeah.
All right.
So it's from a video game called Fortnite,
and I know all those words, but I had no idea
what I was talking about.
Uh, when he was talking about--
I assumed that Fortnite was a game about dancing,
and Twitch said, no.
It's a game about killing.
You kill people, and then you dance.
And it's like the motto that I have here at the show--
laugh, kill, dance.
That's what I--
[CHUCKLES] those are our T-shirts.
Laugh, kill, dance.
Um, I'm not really into video games,
but I found out that Fortnite makes hundreds of millions
of dollars a month, and the people
can make millions of dollars a year
just from playing Fortnite.
So this morning, I went out and I bought myself an Xbox,
and I'm going to be rich.
Yeah.
For sure.
But I need to learn how to play.
So that's why I invited one of the most popular players
to come here and teach me.
Please welcome Ninja.
[MUSIC - THE WHO, "MY GENERATION"]
Talkin' 'bout my generation.
This is my generation, baby.
Hi.
I got it.
Yeah.
Ninja!
So probably a lot of people who know who he is have children,
or you're playing yourself.
But--
Absolutely.
So your name is Ninja.
Yes.
And I should have a name, too.
So I'm thinking, like, either Magic Bullet or Cuisinart or--
Ellie-D.
Yeah.
Ellie-D?
Yeah.
I like it!
Yeah.
Just came up with that.
Yeah, Ellie-D!
Like the lighting LED, but Ellie-D.
But-- ah, yeah.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Capital D.
All right.
That's better, because I was just thinking of blender names.
So-- all right.
So--
It's a good blender.
Yeah, the Cuisinart is a good one.
And the Magic--
Oh, I was gonna say--
Ninja is also a blender.
Yes, it is, as a matter of fact, which
is why I was thinking of mine to be a blender, also,
but you've separated me from yourself.
Yeah.
All right, so Ellie-D wants to know some things about you.
Absolutely.
Um, how many hours a day do you play this game?
Uh, about 10 to 12 hours a day.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
In a single sitting?
No.
It's six hours, usually--
100% in the morning, and then I take a four-hour with my wife,
and then four hours after.
And then what do you do with your wife
when you take a break, and what is she doing the whole time?
Um, so she's managing me.
She's always on phone calls-- business calls--
just constantly on this app called Slack-- whatever,
which is like--
(SARCASTICALLY) Yeah.
Yeah.
OK.
Y'know.
Um, anyways, that's pretty much-- yeah,
just taking care of business while I'm taking care of--
She manages you.
Yes.
OK.
How did you meet?
Uh, a long time ago, like, I think, seven years.
It was a Halo tournament, a local one in Wisconsin.
My best friend pulled me.
He said, we gotta go to this.
And then at the last minute, he showed up in front of my house,
and we drove there.
And we ended up meeting there.
We stayed connected on Facebook for, like, four years,
and then we started dating.
Ah.
And now you're married.
Yes.
Ah, that's beautiful.
Beautiful story.
Aww.
Um, all right.
So earlier today-- the reason we brought him here-- not just
to talk to him.
I wanted him to teach me how to play Fortnite because I'd never
played it before.
I've only played Guitar Hero.
She was good.
Yeah, oh I was fantas--
Oh, you-- she caught on way faster
than I thought she was going to.
You did.
Are you being sarcastic?
No, I'm actually being--
no, like, you were picking up-- like, I saw the evolution
from when you started to when-- yeah, at the end,
it was-- just yeah.
It didn't-- no.
No.
Great improvement.
All right.
I think when you watch this back,
you're going to see you're wrong.
All right.
Here's what happened.
So we're going to hit--
Y. Every-- you--
I'm the girl with the breasts and a hat.
Yes.
And why do I have that around my--
is that just a fashion look, the thing around my thigh?
Yeah, I think it's just a fashion look.
Mm-kay.
So I'm ready.
All right, and now we're queued up to go into the game.
OK.
So we're on the party bus right now.
OK.
And it flies across, basically, the Fortnite map.
And then we're gonna press A to jump.
I'm not goinna jump.
I'm way up high.
A to jump.
Yeah, let's just press it right now.
OK.
And then just, like, look straight down--
All right.
--with your little right analog stick.
Actually, you have to hold forward, too, like this.
(SARCASTICALLY) Ah, I got it.
I'm completely fine.
So--
How do you have a parachute, and I don't?
Because you haven't--
Deploy.
If you want to deploy-- yeah, you can hit A.
So you'll be on the ground eventually.
No, I'm way, way up still.
You'll get there.
Um, now I'm spinning.
Uh-oh.
Whoa!
[LAUGHS]
[LAUGHS] All right.
I'm still going down.
I haven't--
Eventually, you will land.
All right.
Now, you've reached a point where--
Um, how much money have I made so far?
About $5,000.
From, like, a streamer and a YouTuber, it's kind of, like,
ad revenue and how many, y'know, concurrent viewers you have
and people that--
Well, I have a lot of viewers.
I have people--
So you probably have--
I have, like, 77 million Twitter followers.
Look at my ass.
I'm watching my ass run right now.
It's actually-- yeah, it's a little, uh,
revealing sometimes, this game.
Look at my ass.
Yeah.
I know.
You can imagine.
My badonkadonk is-- um, have I done anything yet?
Ah, you know, you really haven't.
But it's OK.
You can play the game however you want.
I'm just kind of watching you.
See, on my screen, I can see how you look and it's--
And are you trying to kill me right now?
That's me.
No, we're teammates.
We're best friends.
Oh, we are?
Yes.
Oh.
That's great.
I-- uh-oh.
See, so I can--
I can--
Oh, I don't want to hurt you.
Oh, you won't.
Why am I whacking you?
(LAUGHING) I think you just keep pressing the button.
I'm just gonna--
OK.
Oh, look, I got through.
Yeah.
So you can, like, build and stuff like that.
You kind of just knock down the wall.
Oh.
You're shooting people.
I am.
I'm trying to.
And why do you want to shoot--
why do you want to kill them?
Have they done something to us?
Yeah, they have.
What have they done?
Uh, they've tried to kill us.
I have not seen them try to kill us.
Well, it's because you're--
[INAUDIBLE]
You haven't even talked to them yet.
You didn't try--
We could have a little discussion, but you know--
Yeah, you didn't reason with them.
You didn't say, come on out.
Let's try to make up.
OK, I'll try to that right now.
[DUBSTEP MUSIC PLAYING]
This is an infinite dab, where you just dab infinitely.
And they might join in.
I'm not sure.
Now wait a minute.
So who came up with the idea that we're going
to kill people and then dance?
Um, I think it just kind of started.
It just started like that.
Yeah.
There, now.
What's happening?
Are they gonna try to kill you?
Yeah.
See?
That's why.
Oh!
Ow!
See?
I just tried to dance in front of them, and now look.
How dare you!
And now here we are.
Can I help you in some way?
Yeah, you can-- you just--
How do I get to you?
Boom.
OK.
Here I go.
I'm running.
(LAUGHING) I don't even know know
how you're walking like that!
I don't know, either.
I think it's just kind of a little--
OK, there-- now I'm running.
There you go.
OK, you were actually heading right towards where
they just [INAUDIBLE].
Oh, good.
I am going to get them, because how dare they?
Yeah.
You know?
Did you see, like, the line on the top right, how
it's kind of, like, going--
Look how angry I am.
She gets very angry.
Ugh.
Oh, I'm so mad.
[LAUGHS]
(THROUGH TEETH) God damn it!
What?
Am I gonna be able to get through this wall?
I don't-- no, that's indestructible.
Oh, well, then why are you letting me do it?
I can't-- I can't--
Help me.
I'm trying-- I'm trying so hard, Ellen.
All right.
Boom.
See how you're getting wood right now?
What?
It's like half the game.
OK.
But you do have 54 wood.
So--
What does that mean, 54 wood?
So you can place--
So I have made money.
You have made wood.
I don't want wood.
I want money.
Wait!
Look.
I'm getting into a cabana.
That's a gun.
You're gonna get your first gun.
Boom.
Here.
Boom, you got it.
Push the top bottom.
Boom.
Now hit the right trigger.
You don't have to hold it!
You're almost out of ammo.
Oh.
I'm going to run out of ammo?
You only have two shots left.
There's more ammo to your right, so you can just--
I'll-- oh.
Dez Bryant killed you!
Who did?
Dez Bryant, the football player!
Does Dez Bryant know he was playing with me?
I don't think he does.
Let him know!
We should tell him.
Yeah.
Thank you very much for being here.
Thank you.
Yes, thank for having me here.
You flew in just to play Fortnite with me,
and I've learned nothing.
Absolutely.
Thank you so much.
You're awesome.
Thank you so much.
[INAUDIBLE]
Yeah.