what is self-love
according to psychology today self-love
is an umbrella term for different acts
of love we perform toward ourselves
physically and non-physically this means
being trusting respectful and forgiving
to yourself
lacking in this area can not only affect
your mental state but also influence
your relationships so how can your lack
of self-love affect your relationships
let's take a look you have difficulties
saying what you really think
having good self-esteem allows you to
express your needs to others without
taking it personally if they don't fully
agree lacking in this area can make it
difficult to communicate what those
needs are and lead to a less fulfilling
relationship you may find yourself
jumping through hoops to appease your
partner instead of being open with what
is bothering you licensed clinical
Professor counselor Katrina fager states
that in many cases having a low
sensitive self-love comes from childhood
perhaps you didn't feel that the adults
in your life believed in you or you
weren't given a healthy model of how to
be self-assured
whenever the case may be you may find
that problems arise in your relationship
but you're unable to properly address
them
you do not enforce boundaries
it's difficult to say no to someone you
worry about how they react or if they'll
leave you
this can make it so bad that you
overlook your partner's bad habits out
of fear that they'll react poorly if you
address it
Dr Elizabeth Scott a psychologist and
author states that this is called
rejection sensitivity rejection
sensitivity causes you to act in ways to
avoid any kind of rejection real or
perceived and it can happen at your own
expense
doctors got further states that
neglecting your boundaries can lead to
further issues like resentment stress
and even problems with your physical
health
setting boundaries is a healthy part of
any relationship and allows you to be
clear with others on what you are and
are not comfortable with
having a lack of self-love can lead you
to neglect your needs and put others
above you though this may seemingly keep
the relationship from failing it makes
it difficult for you to feel fulfilled
and also creates room to be taken
advantage of trying to be someone you
are not in a relationship a lack of
self-love might make it tough to be your
true self
you might put a lot of effort into how
you look and how someone else perceives
you for example you might play up parts
of your personality to another person
that you wouldn't around other people to
make yourself seem more positive
talkative or level-headed therapist
Stuart fensterheim states that in many
cases this is a coping mechanism for
someone sensitive to how others perceive
them to appease the people around them
they create a Persona that other people
will like to avoid rejection while it's
impossible to win everybody over you may
find that being authentic to yourself is
much more fulfilling and pulls in closer
relationships even if they are fewer
fensterheim further warns that many who
continue to live in an inauthentic way
can lead to feelings of self-doubt and
future uncertainty the phrase be
yourself is the biggest takeaway you are
constantly worried about your position
in the relationship in a relationship
low self-esteem and a lack of self-love
can lead to jealousy and insecurity
you may doubt your worth in the
relationship and assume it's a
coincidence that they like you people
who lack self-love often worry that
their partner will be attracted to
someone else or that they'll leave their
relationship at any moment an article
from Psych alive terms this as
relationship anxiety this is where you
worry about different aspects of your
relationship and put immense stress on
yourself these thoughts can brood and
overpower you making your relationship
unpleasant it's important to have
confidence in yourself and your partner
to trust in each other in the end
feeling insecure in the relationship can
further hurt it rather than addressing
the weaknesses
settling for whatever comes your way
people with a lack of self-love are
usually ready to commit to the first
person who shows any interest in them
and they lose a lot of their thoughts
and opinions when it comes to who they
choose to be in a relationship with
this can lead to settling for behaviors
that you are not okay with many people
do this out of fear of losing a
relationship and being alone however Dr
Jill Weber from Psychology today states
that maintaining higher standards will
benefit you as you have more control
over getting what you want out of life
she states this will help with your
self-esteem and will make it easier to
step away from Bad situations
it's important to know your values and
uphold them even though it may be
difficult and you may face rejection you
will find that it will be more
fulfilling to be in the company of
someone who cares
versus settling for Less self-love is
important for your well-being and in
turn important for the relationships in
your life
improving this skill can be difficult
but it's possible by starting with small
steps you may find that speaking to a
qualified mental health professional is
one of these steps in other cases taking
the time to have an honest and open
conversation with your partner about
things to improve on can help get the
ball rolling getting in contact with the
right person is a great way to get your
life back on track and deal with life
stressors we hope you enjoyed this video
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