-Hi. In today's video, we're going to talk
about what you can do to drive a man crazy in bed.
[music]
Hi, this is Mat Shaffer, your dating, empowerment and relationship,
and occasionally, sex coach,
here to talk to you about something that women can do,
that you could do right now with a man that you're dating,
a man you're in a relationship with that's going to take your sex life
to an entirely new level.
I've worked with a lot of clients on stepping into this
and it has gotten amazing results for them.
I'm excited to share this with you, but before I do, take a second,
if you haven't already for some crazy reason,
hit that little subscribe button.
I'm always uploading new stuff and I'd love to have you as part
of our tribe over here on YouTube.
Now, let's dive into this.
Here's the thing.
Cosmo loves to give you a lot of tips.
Cosmo is always telling you, "Do this. Don't do that.
Da, da, da."
It's giving you all this strategic stuff,
as if there's some ninja move you can do to drive a man wild in bed.
It's not the way that it works.
[chuckles]
Sex doesn't have to be a strategic operation when it comes to men.
Of course, there are things you can do
that activate and trigger men in a lot of ways with your mouth
and I've done videos on that.
That's all great stuff,
but there's one thing you can do that's very--
Well, I'm not going to say it's easy,
but it's something you can do right now that's going to make
a huge difference in the quality, and intensity,
and the depth of your connection when you have sex
and when you have deep physical contact with your man.
That thing is to consciously surrender.
What do I mean when I say consciously surrender?
Well, here's the thing.
A lot of times in sex, we're both trying to do something to one another.
He's doing something to you,
you're doing something to him and it's this back and forth active thing.
There's such power,
and it's such a polarizing experience
for you as the woman in sex to practice conscious surrender,
so to allow him to be that driving masculine force in bed.
This goes back to the nature and the interrelation of masculine
and feminine energy.
I've talked about this on previous videos, but just to give you an overview,
the masculine energy in relationship and in dating is that doing,
driving, striving force.
It is more on the controlling side, the more dominant energy.
It strives to do and create.
That is the masculine energy.
That is the imperative of the masculine.
As the feminine energy, you are this beautiful inviting force.
You're this beautiful inviting energy that's calling him forth.
One of the greatest things you can do, especially in bed,
which is one of those primal fundamental physical expressions
of masculine and feminine energy,
instead of trying to do a bunch of stuff to him like Cosmo is telling you to do,
instead of trying to do the Cosmo cover sheet on his body
with all these different moves, to really just invite him
to be a man and invite him to do unto you everything
that you've ever wanted.
Ask him for what it is that you want.
Allow and surrender to him.
Submit to him in a really empowered way.
A way to practice conscious surrender is to ask him, "What do you want?
How do you want me?" Really invite him to really take charge of the situation
and be proactive in surrendering to him.
If you can really do that and invite him to take control and to assume
that masculine driving role in bed,
that's going to make a man really turned on
because it's going to help him rise to the occasion.
He's going to feel that invitation to step up
into that more aggressive space.
Surrender to him.
Invite him forward by asking him what he wants,
telling him how good what he's doing is making you feel.
That's another huge aspect of this, is acknowledging him for what he's doing.
If he's hitting your spots in just the right way or he's giving you--
Just tell him how much you love that.
Tell him how much he's turning you on.
Tell him what he can do to make it even better.
You're guiding him and you're inviting him forward,
but at the same time, surrendering and submitting to him
and allowing him to be that driving force.
It's a balance point. That's why it's conscious surrender.
Don't assume that he's a mind reader and that he knows all the things
that you like and he's just going to be able to dive right in and do it.
Guide him.
Put his hands where you want them on your body.
Put his mouth where you want it on you.
Ask him what he wants and then just be that force to him.
Be that surrendering--
I don't want to say submissive because that's a disempowering word,
but you can be submissive in an empowered way,
because if it's something that turns both of you on and you're in that state
of active surrender to him,
it's going to be really hot and it's not going to be
a disrespectful situation to either of you.
Play with these dynamics in bed.
Play with what does it mean for you to consciously surrender
and give yourself over to him.
Maybe you let him tie you up or restrain you in a responsible way,
in a safe way.
Talk to him about this stuff.
Get on the same page and really get clear on what's a huge turn on for him,
what's a turn on for you and how you can step into an active surrendered space
and allow him to be that masculine powerful force in bed.
I hope this resonated with you.
If it did, take a second, hit that little subscribe button.
Go out there and have fun.
I will see you next time on my YouTube channel.
Bye-bye.