[MUSIC]
I have a confession to make.
I have an addiction.
My addiction is so compulsive, it interferes with everyday life.
I'm not as productive as I want to be.
I often find it hard to focus, and when people tell me to stop,
I simply ignore them.
I'm addicted to my smartphone.
>> [LAUGH] >> Really I'm addicted to distraction, and
many of us here are too.
On a regular day, we unlock our cell phones more than 120 times per day.
I decided to run an experiment to better understand that addiction.
I, of course, used my phone to download an app called Moment and
began to track my usage.
I apparently unlock my cell phone more than 130 times per day.
That is every nine minutes.
What is so gripping that I can't resist?
On a good day,
I'm stalking people on Facebook I haven't seen since middle school.
>> [LAUGH] >> And on a bad day,
I'm reading listicles, like ten cute child stars who grew up to be ugly.
>> [LAUGH] >> Why do so
many of us feel this compulsive urge to grab our phone?
Because our phone is like a slot machine in Vegas.
We never know what reward, new tweet, new email, new text message, that child star
turned ugly, awaits us, and the result, 120 times per day we lose our focus.
Don't get me wrong here, I love technology,
because technology gives us superpowers.
Superpowers to see my boyfriend in Berlin every night and
to obtain information about anything in an instant,
or to get instant memories about thoughts and images.
So sometimes you do use these superpowers wisely, but most often we don't.
And the result?
120 times per day we lose our focus.
There's a tremendous cost to this, at work, in our relationships,
and with ourselves.
At work, we could use these superpowers to do research or to talk to colleagues.
Instead, we're addicted to distraction.
Look at me.
On a typical day, I'm sitting on my computer doing actual work and
quickly check my phone, see my messages, take a phone call, check my emails on
my phone to then immediately hit Refresh on my computer emails again.
>> [LAUGH] >> On days like this, I could have as well
stared at the wall for two hours because according to research,
my productively levels are the same as after pulling an all-nighter.
At work, I'm present, but absent, and maybe you are too.
In our relationships, we could use our superpowers to talk to family and
friends all over the world, instead, we're often present but absent.
A friend of mine recently said lately, my fiance and I come home and grab dinner.
We are on our email still, and
that makes us feel we're together, but alone.
Sometimes I even reject his advances,
because I quickly want to finish looking through my Facebook friends.
>> [LAUGH] >> We've gone now from stonewalling to
phone walling.
As the relationship expert, John Gottman found, in our relationship, the number
one predictor of an unhappy union, is a lack of responsiveness and attention.
In her relationship, my friend often finds herself present, but absent.
And maybe you do, too.
Let's look at ourselves.
When we're along with our thoughts, we could use our superpowers to capture our
thoughts or read interesting books and articles.
Instead we're addicted to distraction.
What would you prefer, pain or boredom?
And in an experiment,
researchers gave participants a small electric shock that was so unpleasant
that three-quarters of them were willing to pay not to experience that shock again.
Then research put those same participants into a room to sit alone for 15 minutes.
Subjects were so uncomfortable being alone with their own thoughts that they
now shocked themselves voluntarily.
>> [LAUGH] >> One outlier pressed that button
a 190 times in 15 minutes.
Shocking, I know.
>> [LAUGH] >> These participants when they're
alone are absent but present but absent.
And maybe you are, too.
So this is the world we live in.
Today, I want to sketch out a new world for you.
A world where we can finally make use of these superpowers
to live a more present life at work, in our relationships, and with ourself.
At work, there is a concept which is called deep work
which makes you focus without distraction on a single task.
And the result, increased productivity, improved performance, and
the sense of true fulfillment that comes from craftsmanship.
I tried it.
When writing this talk, I went and blocked four hour slots.
I'll use my phone for research but ignored all notifications, emails, and texts.
The result?
I felt productive in a way I had not felt in a very long time.
I felt satisfied with my work and with myself.
I felt effective, and maybe you would too.
Let's look at our relationships.
My mother helped me see a different world during Christmas.
Her simple recipe was a cell phone bowl.
During meals and family time, we had to put our cell phone into that bowl.
Today, I'm grateful for the world she created for us.
Christmas truly was endless cookie smells, laughter until we had tears in our eyes.
And my grandmother who came grey and looking much older than I remember her
even looking rejuvenated with red cheeks and a beautiful smirk.
During that time, I felt pure joy, and maybe you would, too.
Let's look at ourselves.
After that memorable Christmas, I was sitting on a plane back to San Francisco.
I was sitting in my seat with no emails and texts to distract myself.
And my mind went to how excited I felt flying back into Silicon Valley,
that this is what Florence must have felt like in the Renaissance.
I then started wondering about my constant struggle to juggle my life in
Germany with my life here.
For more than a year, I've been debating whether to stay here or
to go home after graduation.
I started thinking about how grateful I was for this wonderful family,
and I wondered if they knew how much this time with them meant to me.
Silent tears started running down my face, and in that moment,
I decided that in spite of all the opportunities here,
I will go home after graduation because it simply felt right.
Landing in San Francisco that morning, I felt deeply in touch with myself.
What about a world where we don't feel FOMO because of social media,
but because we haven't taken the time to catch up with our mental news feed.
After that time in that plane, I felt clear and grounded,
and maybe you would too.
So how can you all deal with your own addiction to distraction?
What worked for me is to take present time and space for
work, to take time, focused time with my family,
and to take that time and space to be alone with my own thoughts.
Today, I'm finally using those superpowers that technology gives me to live a more
present life at work, in my relationships, and with myself.
I invite you to do the same.
Take focused time and space where distraction is not an option,
where work is only work, where conversation is only conversation, and
where self-reflection enables you to expand more than you thought was possible.
In the philosopher, Eckhart Tolle's words,
it is the quality of our consciousness at a given moment, that shapes our future.
What do you want the future to be for you?
Thank you.
>> [APPLAUSE]
[MUSIC]