If you are on the path of awakening,
then you're automatically on the path of awareness.
Now obviously, on this path of awakening / awareness,
there are inevitable times in life
where you are looking at somebody else and thinking:
"How in the hell do they not see this?
You may be thinking that about yourself as well.
"How the hell did I not see that?"
Now, most people are asking themselves "why?"
"What exactly is creating this?"
Today I'm going to share with you the single biggest
barrier to awareness
and therefore the answer to both of these questions.
The Single Biggest Barrier to Awareness
People don't see things
when the seeing of them
is painful in and of itself.
More than that though,
they don't see things when seeing something
would mean that they have to make some sort of change
that they think would be painful.
This is the single biggest reason why people
don't have awareness.
Why they remain stuck in illusion.
In this case,
Illusion, this is not intentional creation of reality,
it's an escape mechanism from reality.
It's an avoidance strategy.
Here are some examples of what I mean:
First scenario:
A woman is in a relationship with an alcoholic husband,
who also beats the kids.
She spends her days making excuses for it.
She doesn't want to see that he is an alcoholic,
so she doesn't see it.
Why? Because seeing it would mean
she would have to see herself as an enabler
for her own children's abuse.
She would have to see that they are not the picture-perfect family.
She would have to see that potentially
there is massive conflict to be had
and potentially the loss of their connection entirely,
if she stands up against it all.
2. A man who's part of a startup business
doesn't see that he's in fact being used by his business partner.
This partner has no intention to ever actually pay him.
That's why he hasn't been paid yet.
He denies this fact. Why?
Because if he accepted this fact,
he's never gonna get paid, it was never an intention,
he got used,
now, not only was he duped,
not only is he at Ground Zero
or potentially in debt because of this venture,
he has to start all over again
at a job that's probably worse
and in a situation
where he now has lost his trust for everyone.
3. A man in the partnership
does not see that his partner loves him.
Because seeing that would invalidate
all the things his parents said about him
and all the ways his parents treated him.
In order to stay close to his parents,
he has to believe that he himself
is unlovable and deserved all of that treatment.
Rather than to see that his parents truly did not love him
or treat him right.
So to avoid breaking up his family
and potentially lose his place in it,
he will continue to stay in the role of the scapegoat
and refuse to see what real love is.
And especially,
refuse to see the love that he does have from his partner.
4. A woman is triangulating
everyone in her social group
against an woman
in that same social group.
This woman does not and will not
see the levels of inferiority
and jealousy that she feels against this other woman.
She does not and will not see that she's triangulating.
Why? Because seeing any of those things
actually is an amplification
of the way she already feels towards that woman
and towards herself.
It will cause her to feel like she is the "bad guy".
It will cause her to have to face all of that jealousy.
It will cause her, based on seeing herself as bad,
to feel even more inferior to this person.
Reality, as it applies to this practical level,
is in fact, your only axis of power.
And is critical in terms of awakening.
Many of the spiritual practices that people engage in today,
are a mechanism of reality avoidance,
instead of practices that create an expansion
of subjective reality.
For example, and this is my favorite example:
"It's way better to tell myself
that I am in a twin flame relationship."
"Because we all know
that twin flame relationships are painful
because they're growth relationships."
Basically, this is what I'm gonna tell myself,
instead of seeing that I'm in a terrible relationship.
Potentially a terrible marriage.
It is only by seeing the reality
that our gas gage on our car is empty,
that we can then take the step to fill up our car with gas.
It's only when we see the reality
of how someone thinks and how they feel,
that we can actually know how to create repair in a relationship.
Your only axis of power is in reality.
For this reason,
I ask you to watch my episode that's titled:
Reality
When we become aware of something,
it implies change.
One could call awareness the first agent of change.
However, when we progress on the path of our awareness,
there's some interesting things that change
relative to our perception of reality
and also the meaning that we assign to it.
Here's what I mean.
Imagine there are two blanks.
The reality of any given situation
and what that reality means.
Now in the beginning of life,
when people are not that conscious,
both of those things that "fill in that gap"
are very very solid.
For example,
he or she is an addict.
Therefore, you should not
be in a relationship with them.
When your awareness begins to increase,
the solid nature of both of those "fill in the blanks"
becomes a lot more mutable
and a lot less solid.
And the first to weaken
is your perception of reality.
So, using the previous analogy:
It becomes: "That person's an addict."
But maybe addiction is something we all have.
And maybe it isn't a lifelong disorder,
but rather a way of coping.
But, you shouldn't be in a relationship with an addict.
Now this eventually begins to develop again.
Even though the most aware people
are aware that even they don't know what they don't know
and so perception of reality is always a bit of a...
Let's call it "open playing field"
actually, your perception of reality
tends to become more solid again.
But the second "fill in the blank"
the meaning you assigned to it,
stays insanely, if not even more increasingly mutable.
So you have a solid perception of reality.
More objective reality instead of subjective reality.
Here's an example;
It becomes:
"No one is an addict.
But everyone is addicted.
And this is the strategy that he or she is using
to try to mitigate pain,
that they feel they can't resolve any other way.
But...
Perhaps being in a relationship with them
is what that person needs to resolve the very wound
that they are covering over with that substance.
Perhaps the addiction will make the relationship miserable.
Perhaps the first person's addiction
is the necessary pattern that will get the second person
to recognize their own addiction and resolve it."
In other words, that second "fill in the blank"
of the meaning becomes more and more and more wiggly.
More and more and more open
and more and more, let's say,
open to conscious choice
than ever before.
People add meaning to experiences.
This is what they do.
Adding meaning is uniquely human.
And it also creates a lot of expansion.
However, adding meaning to experiences
also can ruin your life.
It's really important,
when you have a struggle seeing things
because of the potential pain that seeing it would mean,
that you start to question meaning.
For example,
you may decide to not really see and admit
that you hate your job,
because you automatically make it mean that you will have to quit
and then find yourself in a world of financial pain and terror.
Seeing reality will sometimes spell out very clearly
that a certain change must take place.
But that being said,
just because you see the reality of something
doesn't automatically and intrinsically mean something.
It doesn't automatically mean
that some change or a very specific change
must take place.
Most of those beliefs are actually
culturally added, instead of something
that comes from objective universal truth.
If you remember this fact,
it will be a lot easier for you to see reality.
Because seeing reality
isn't going to automatically mean
some change that you think is painful.
Now, to understand more about this,
I want you to watch my video that's titled:
Meaning ( The Self-Destruct Button )
Speaking of meaning,
when it comes to assigning painful meaning
and by doing that, not being able to see anything,
look no further than self concept.
When seeing some reality
would mean something painful about ourselves,
we are likely to never see that in ourselves.
This is the single biggest barrier to self awareness as well.
People refuse to
see things in themselves
that make them see themselves as bad or wrong,
or mean that they would have to make some painful change
to their personality and behavior.
To understand this
lack of self awareness in personal awakening fully,
watch my video titled:
Self Concept ( The Enemy of Awakening )
This is understandable
and I need you to understand it.
Because we are a social species,
our survival,
and now what I'm talking about right now
is the survival of self.
It is completely 100%
dependent upon the approval
of our social group.
So obviously,
losing approval in that social group
is a seriously bad thing.
Now, in our social group
we have been taught that one thing
will guarantee us a place in society
and that is being good and that is being right.
So anytime we are doing anything,
exhibiting a behavior,
anything a part of us,
that is bad or wrong,
instead of seeing and correcting it,
we are more likely to just
not see it about ourselves.
Not seeing something is denial.
Now denial is a coping mechanism.
This means we have to understand coping mechanisms.
A coping mechanism is something that exists
when we feel like some stressor in our environment
is not something that we can change or eliminate.
So by definition,
a coping mechanism implies powerlessness.
Sometimes when we can't deal with,
change or eliminate something painful,
in order to avoid despair, we simply deny whatever is painful.
We refuse to perceive it.
We don't feel it,
don't hear it and don't see it.
But denial as a state of lack of awareness,
also comes in other forms.
Denial is not just about denying that something "is".
Some people see that something exists,
but their denial comes in the form of
minimizing the impact it has on our life or someone else's.
Excusing it, forgetting it or rationalizing it.
For more information about denial,
you can watch my video titled:
How To Call Bulls#!t On DENIAL
At the end of the day
the bottom line of all of this awareness and expansion
is the capacity to expand our awareness
to hold truths
that aren't necessarily
those that we would want to have be true only.
Conscious creation, that is the focus on those things
we want to have be true,
has a place in this universe.
But that place is not to mitigate
our acceptance and awareness of "what is".
Any methodology that is being used to fuel denial
is by definition an enemy to awakening, enlightenment,
awareness and expansion.
Become aware of what pain or painful changes
you're trying to avoid by not seeing, feeling,
hearing and accepting certain things.
Become aware of the painful meaning
you are adding to those certain realities that you don't want to see.
The more willing you are to consciously face that pain
you are wanting to avoid,
the more open and less avoidant you will be of awareness
and ultimately the closer and closer you will be to fully awakening.
So ask yourself these questions:
If this thing were true and were the reality,
what would be so bad about that?
If this thing were the actual truth of the actual reality,
what pain would I be avoiding
by refusing to see and accept that?
And remember,
the reason that people including yourself
don't see things is because the seeing of it is painful
and more than that,
the seeing of it implies that some painful change
might need to take place.
Have a good week.
Subtitles by: Tanya Duarte www.tanyaduarte.com