That is the sound of the game uh! uh! uh!
*Wapoosh!* Top of the mornin' to ya laddies, my name is Jacksepticeye and welcome back to "Beast Battle
Simu-lator!"
I was just singing the intro to this and then I just launched straight into it so,
good luck editing that one, Robin.
We're back, Part 14.
Where we left off, these gorillas were all up in our business.
They were walking down the street
thinking that they owned the place,
snapping their fingers like they were in a bad musical.
You know what?
It's time for this "gorilla gang" to "gorilla get going out of here"
because I'm about to
mess you up!
As soon as the game loads that is.
Oh God, you're all the way around.
Oh,
that's kind of freaky.
All Around me are familiar faces
familiar faces
I have
3,000. could i?
Not do that Please. Could i rotate Things?
I..I.. Bluhhh. Woo! the thing i want to do with Games like This is to try and see how much i can get away with with
As Little As possible so i want to, i want to see if i could Actually Kill everything Just wait four of these
Umm...I'm gonna That's gonna be a no. oh? oh? oh? oh!! OH!!!!!!!!
Flamey-o sir Flamey-o!
That was amazing! See That's what i like to do! That's what i like to do! get in.. i told You i'd mess you up. oh my god it's mecha
Tyrannosaurus
My arch Nemesis. this t-rex has Upgraded his large Body. now he is an abomination. dest... How dare you?!
That is not an abomination that Is,
Masterful science.
That's what we all aspire to be.
Cannons, shotguns, Mini Guns, lasers,
Flamethrowers. What can i fight You with? i'm doing the exact same Thing. When everything is even Stevens Shia Labeouf i want to see who
Actually Wins.
okay?
Who gets the first shot off?
That's What it all comes down to. why Does it look like my T-rex is Kind of Bigger Than Yours?
perspective!
Heh! This One's big, but those are far away.
There we Go. come on! come on Rexy!
I..
immediately lost. it's the motherfucking Ru ru ru ru ru ru..
Rematch!!!
Go Rexy!
I Lose Every time. Why? what what do what does he have that i don't?
What does he have that i don't?
Mother Fucker. You see this? a cannon. The size of A 7-4-7.
coming to mess You up! keep saying that i'm gonna mess Stuff Up and then i never Actually do well it's okay. That's okay
That's It. That's It. i Sawed his ass
Yeah, What do you think about that bitch?!
That Is a Fucking Good Lookin' dinosaur Right There!
(air kiss) my baby. oh wait look!
look How far my cannonball Went!
It's all the Way over here. you know what that means you fucking Missed!
Moving on.. Dinos Prey.. Dino prey's Revenge.
It's the herbivores time to fight back against these rappin' raptors!
and The Tyrannical
Tyrannosaurus and The Final form Finn backs! okay both tea... why did i click start? That Doesn't make any sense
Well I'm Just gonna Put two brachiosaurus in Here.
you know, Mean Dog? and these brachiosaurus are gonna Be geared up to the tits!
I Can't afford to put all of these on both.
Stego sauruses!
These Guys are the real demons.
I Mean, sure
These Guys are carnivores and they look Good. They got sharp Teeth and all That Stuff, and these Guys Got claws and they're
Like Oh! i'm a raptor! I eat Your Bones. But,
These Guys! If you Saw This comin
That's the Kind of dude that Would Mess You the fuck up! That's the Kind of dude who looks like a carnivore.
Carnivore in Stego clothing. and Club tail is gonna be the mediator right there. right in the front can i put on anything Else
Another stegosaurus! These Guys are like The Messengers. They're gonna Walk Up and Be like.. Halt!
for Now we will claim our peace! if you stop Now, we Will not ANNIHILATE YOU!
but if you keep Walking, It Will Be time for us to (deep voice start) DE-STROY!!!!! (deep voice end)
Is that cool? Huh! Robin Doesn't even have to edit that in anymore. Saving You time there buddy! GO!!!! FUCK EM UP!!!!!!!!! YEAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! YEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YEAH!.. YEEEAAH!
(yelling)Free History! Jurassic era! you Guys are not even all from the same era! it's okay though..
Thats is, KILL 'EM ALL
fuck it
I.. I..Want to look at This. i want to look this guy right in the eyes. That's the face of a Dude Who's like, YAY!!
I like to have fun, but I also like to.. KILL!!!!!
Oh no! It's the hungry, hungry, hippos! Hahaha!
Have you ever Played That game? when Put all the Balls in the Middle and you Keep tapping the Thing in the hippos go out?
and Their mouths eat All The Balls Whoever has the most Balls at The End Wins? it's so much fun! I'm gonna play it right now!
We Have Hungry, Hungry, hippos. What Would Go up well against hippos?
Ummmm....
You know what?
I think it's time for my Gorilla Bros to go to town.
two Gorillas per hippo.
Ok. we have Room for more. Um... how about we put guns on tho? no...
Nah!
Wait, can i afford Guns and all of Them?
oh? oh?
No i can't. Ó_Ò
Well, You Guys are gonna do Without it but it's ok
Cuz you're Up against Green Bean, Butt Crack Hippo! GO DUDES! Look at that!
Who knew that hippos were the destroyers of Worlds! i Mean,
Granted, They do have Teeth The size of Buildings, but Whatever. oh you had a Bad time didn't ya? wa wa wa!
I hurt, i bleed i lost a hand...
All rightey, well we're going back to my other tactic then, of just plonking four of these things down, and
Hoping For the best. That's okay. i didn't want four of them down.
oh, why y'all Aiming at The one. oh no! ♫ oh, That's going to be your death! ♫
♫That's gonna Be your Death! Never Mind, i win!!♫
YEAAA!!!!!
Fuck Yeah!!! That was awesome!! take That hippos! Ya big mouth Bitches! i like hippos though, hippos are cuuuuute!
The Great Crate Pyramid. this pyramid aesthetically displeasing. Remove It Within One minute. oh no problem dude
No problem! i have the team that are ready to do this! the team who i know, can Really,
Muster Up the courage, to fuck this shit Up! we call this team, the Goril-ostrich!
Uhh...
Here we Go. i can Put Gear on them,
And i can Put more of them down, but you know what don't
need It .Watch this Shit! Watch My guys Go to work! That's it! get that Windmill action going!
Chewing Through It, like a Fucking Paper Shredder!
a Minute! thf , i didn't even need 30 seconds!
Just Destroy! My Gorillas are crate eating..
Monsters!!!
super Puppies! oh my god! that might be the most adorable, but Terrifying Thing i've ever Seen in my life. dachshunds with guns on them!
There's Only four of them.
waaat?
okay nevermind, ummm.. My Bad, my bad. i still won anyway. hahaha!
ohh noo!! Hahaha
You know what they are right now? hot dogs! *ba dum psssh*
for Years... (bear grylls like voice)
Mankind Has Wondered, What the most Dangerous Creatures in the World could Be. Is it Dinosaurs?
Is it foxes? is It Bears? no, it's the dreaded...
King Penguin and His army! (normal voice) i..i.. ain't scared!
Wha? You.. you.. think i'm scared? I ain't scared! Two flamethrowers! That's all i need! Watch this! i ain't scared!
I ain't scared Bitches! die you PENGUS!!!!!!
NOOT!! NOOT!!! MY ASS!!!!
Who Wants to go? who wants to go up against the Mighty.. the flamethrowers! nothing gettin' past them how the penance of a Wall of fire
Moving on.. HUGE Soccer it's about Damn time! (banging on his desk)
I did regular animal soccer. i did dino Soccer
Dinosoccer or as i like to call It. now, it's time for the one, the only,
(deep voice) JUMBO SOCCOR!!!
I have 14,000.
Which means i can put a Fuckin, a bunch of Dudes down. there We Go!!
It is time to.. da da da da da da da da da da da da Duel!!!
GO Dudes!! The pterodactyls are What's gonna claim it for me. you see? cause they Get the, they Get the quick hits in.
*DINOSAUR SOUNDS* XD
yeah You all sound Very scary. Big Scary Dino babies! That's cool.
I don't Know What's going on.. UUUP!
loose Ball! loose Ball! Get It! Get the ball tero!
Terri The Pterodactyl.
okay a Lot of My Dudes are Dying.
That.. That's a Pa...
YOU Fuckin Hit that in you little cock! different Plan of Attack. I'm sending in the Gorillas.
old school Meets Modern.
and i Just put in a bunch Of spinosauruses so they're gonna eat Everybody
That's What's going to happen. well, in my Brain That's What's going to happen.
umm... in the Games brain, ummm..
I'm probably going to Looose.
But That's okay. cause i got my cando spirit and attitude. keep Goin Ball!
*blowing*
♫Go! Go! go! go! ball is not ♫
♫Going in the Goal, How many of My Dudes are left? a Lot. Go mr. Gorilla! YEA!!!♫
Deuces! Deuces!
(sports commentator voice) oh.. The Ball blakes Left Across Left Field, Over Towards the light Side, But They're not Losers Today The Gorillas are all coming in full force
They May be small, but They're strong and they Got their Speed on their side.
Everybody Else is Just Playing Catch-Up. The spinosaur is coming to help them out...
Oh! the ball breaks across to the other side of the field! it's heading towards the goal! it's going in!!!!
GOOOOAL!!!!! *random jibberish, sounds like another language*
WOOOO!!!!!!!!
Yes! if only i had those Things that You could spin around and go *bzzzzzzz* I could Just make The sound of Link
AAAAAAH!!!!! that's the sound of my spinners.
GO TEAM! (sports commentator voice) the ball is breaking Out Now it's black team coming Up towards, but light team are following close behind
Will It be a three nil victory? For the light team? God only Knows. A slice of toast Just Flew past the screen, But That's okay
The Crowds are going Wild! listen to them.
*cricket chirps*
oh! But look at This! the ball is breaking into the Left field side. the Gorillas are trying to play Catch-up. if they don't get to
It soon,
Nothing Is going to Happen because i thought It was going to the goal, but it's okay it's not my eyes are what They used
To be ever since i looked at That eclipse at One time. They told me to look at It When the sun, the moon was
Over the sun, but i decided to be go against that because i am cool like That. Really Wish someone would score a
Fucking Goal, so i could Go home and see my Kids for once.
Everybody's clumped into the Middle Here now. there's only two, Three, spinosauruses Left on the light side it's like a Big prehistoric
Orgy. if Only Somebody Could Fight Over This giant Ball in such an efficient matter. there Goes a Filet Mignon. i like mine medium rare (ends sports commentator voice)
Any Fucking day Now! there we Go yes! i can Actually Take control. i can Actually Take control and start biting Your ass
there we Fucking Go! Screw The Ball!
Screw The Ball! Just, Just, chomp on some Ass! Just eat some ass Boi!!!
Here we Go! my other guy is going for the ball. That's it! That's it!
DA DA DA DA DA!!!!!
BA DA DA DA DA!!!!!!!!! (starts singing)
♫I'll bite you in the fuuuuucking be ass neck!♫ he's down for the count! he's down for the count! loose ball! loose balllll!
HE GOES FOR IT....
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!
(starts sports commentator voice) yes indeed, yes Indeed, That Is a Great Victory for
The snuffle bams! look at Them! They're so happy! Finally Your Big-Ass face came in Handy.
shame about you though,
Even though You lost The game, You still have a face That Looks like That, and your mother Will never love you :'( the dinosaur cries evry tiem)
We've had Disney on Ice. we've had urea on Ice, but are you Guys Ready for....
Elephants on Ice!
They're super cute! but, i am going To have to fuck, them, up!
Cause the Game's allowing me to put down all these Flamethrowers.
You think i'm gonna look a Gift horse in the mouth and Shake my dick at it? noooo!
no! Jack capitalize on Victory. Watch me do!
I Feel Like This is Unfair.
I Don't how strong The elephants are though. i might Get annihilated Pretty quick.
Oh My God! did you see that, like orange smoke That Was coming off them? and I win!
Who knew elephants Couldn't Handle fire? I did. That's Why i put the flamethrowers down cause i knew i'd win that Way
Feels a Little Cheaty, But i mean, if the Game Allows me to do, it i'm gonna do it.
It's in my favor to be a Winner.
Every Now and then! Shotgun Raptors.
I Could Just Do The Exact Same Thing again, buuuut
That's boring. so...
I Am going to..
Pterodactyls! uh oh!
Uh oh! Uh oh!
Get, Get, Don't Get low! don't get Too low. No! no! don't no!
okay that Was a Fucking Fool's errand You Stupid cunt! a brachiosaurus with a Flamethrower Will do The Job.
They'll never stand the might against This guy... he's Dead (took 1 shot..). Hahahaha!
oh My God They Just Opened on him! okay this One's Actually Kind of hard...
(( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) thats what she said)
Because.. i can't Put shotguns on my guys to counteract, cause i only Have 400.
so I can Only Put four of them down total. It.. without Any sort of Help.
you know I am fucking Doing This. screw you game!
Trying to come up against me. i'm probably still gonna lose cause they fire all their shotguns at Once.
and That Does a Lot of Damage.
What the fuck! I didn't even kill any of them! the laser doesn't even hit anything! it's fucking Useless! hippos!
It's the Only Way we're gonna do this.
We have to overcome them With odds, with Numbers. with a Lot of Health.
aahh... ima put down a bunch of dogs then to distract.
Here we Go. Here we go.
This is It. this is the Victory. now the Raptors won't know where to go, so they can't concentrate Their fire. it'll give me a chance.
To die a lot! ok. They did better, but not Great. Got a nice Spread of dudes here,
I'm Trying to.. i'm trying to split Up the fire.
NICE!!!!
Fucking Club tail coming Into wreck house! YEAAAA!
Send those Raptors packing! oh shit! it's..
Well, What Happened over this side? Motherfuckers.
You're Just Lying Down.are you sleeping? are ya snoozing? do you want me to send you a fucking medal oh?
oh yes! oh yes!
OH YES!
We're doin it!
FUCK YEA!!!
get rekt Bitch!
you Know why that Worked? because i brought in the little Green Dudes.
(derpy dinosaur voice) Hi! i helped!
They Actually Kicked Some Ass! why do you only have One arm? first we had Hungry, Hungry, hippos, and Now we Have Rowdy, Rowdy, Rhinos?
These Dudes are... These Dudes are not messing about. i need to be careful here.
and By Careful i Mean, Bombastic and...
destructive. you Know They're worried about Rhinos Like Becoming Extinct and all That Stuff? Well I'm about like.. Make matters Much worse.
Much, Much Worse.
They're not dying.
There...
are.. are.. they dying? I don't know. Everybody's Just clumped Together. i think they're dying. i think i won. Did i win?
Wait, Wait for it...
That's a Win-o. okay well that Does it for this episode of Beast battle simulator.
Next time we Come back, we're going Up against the laser dinosaurs.
future meets Past in a sexy Amalgamation of...
Scientific.. Baby Glory!
It's gonna be immense! and we Only have a Few levels left to do, so i'll do The rest of them in the next episode,
And then We might get in and Do some Sandbox fun. who know? it all up in the air, it all Okey Dokey.
for now, Thank you Guys so much Watching this episode! if you liked It... PUNCH! That like button in the face like..
A BOSS! and highfives all round!
*whapoosh whapoosh*
But thank you guys and I will see all you dudes... IN THE NEXT VIDEO!
[Music] (took me 3 hours to subtitle)... (others helped.. but wow, you had to endure 3 hours of screams?!)
Lasers on dinosaurs.. have you ever Heard something so.. AWESOME? (CC by Ashley House Gaming, Music, and More!) (i feel baller sooo..., many edits done by Aleksandrs Timofejevs)