( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: EVERYBODY, WELCOME BACK!
HERE?
WE'RE DOING IT HERE?
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
IS FANTASTIC.
THAT IS FANTASTIC.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, OH, YOU'RE IN FOR A TREAT AS PER USUAL.
MY GUEST TONIGHT IS A "NEW YORK TIMES" BESTSELLING AUTHOR AND
THE HOST OF "WATCH WHAT HAPPENS LIVE."
PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW," MY FRIEND AND YOURS,
MR. ANDY COHEN.
♪ ♪ ♪
>> HOW YOU DOING, MAN!
>> Stephen: I'M DOING GOOD.
IT'S ALWAYS GOOD TO SEE YOU, YOU RAY OF SUNSHINE.
YOU ARE, YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY-- YOU'RE A DELIGHTFUL PERSON.
YOU'RE A GREAT GUEST.
YOU'RE A WONDERFUL HOST.
YOU'RE AMERICA'S SWEETHEART, AND YOU HAVE BEEN JOHNNY-ON-THE-SPOT
FOR ME SO MANY TIMES.
YOU ALWAYS COME IN WITH A TREMENDOUS AMOUNT OF ENERGY AND
YOU ALWAYS MAKE THINGS BETTER.
IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN EVER DO FOR ANDY COHEN?
YOU NAME IT, I'M THERE, MY FRIEND.
>> I'LL WORK ON THAT.
>> Stephen: GOOD LUCK COLLECTING.
>> ACTUALLY, WE DID COLLECT BECAUSE I THINK THE LAST TIME
ANDERSON AND I WERE HERE WE CONNED YOU INTO COMING ON YOUR
NEW YEAR'S SHOW AND DOING A SHOT AND YOU DID.
>> Stephen: I DID, I DID A SHOT ON YOUR NEW YEAR'S SHOW.
SO WE'RE EVEN.
SORRY BUT-- >> NO, BUT --
>> Stephen: WE'RE EVEN.
WE BOTH HOST TALK SHOWS.
>> YES, WE DO.
>> Stephen: THEY'RE DIFFERENT TALK SHOWS.
>> A LITTLE.
WE COVER THE SAME TOPICS.
WE DO.
>> Stephen: YES, WE DO.
COUNTESS LUANN.
>> Stephen: I HAVE MANY OPINIONS.
>> I KNOW YOU DO.
>> Stephen: LOOKING BACK OVER COVID, BECAUSE WE BOTH HOSTED
FROM HOME FOR MONTHS AND MONTHS AND MONTHS.
DID YOU LEAN INTO PROFESSIONALISM, OR DID YOU LET
IT ALL HANG OUT, BABY?
>> WHAT DO YOU THINK?
>> Stephen: WELL, YOU COME PRE-HUNG OUT.
>> YES, EXACTLY.
I LEANED INTO THE FACT THAT I WAS AT HOME.
I WAS KIND OF SLOPPING MAKEUP ON LIKE THIS MYSELF.
>> Stephen: YOU DID YOUR OWN MAKEUP?
>> I MEAN BARELY, BARELY.
>> Stephen: I DID MY OWN MAKEUP.
>> IT WAS A DISASTER.
I WAS-- THERE WERE SHOWS WHERE I WOULD BE DOING THEM, AND I WAS
LIKE, "IS THIS A SHOW?
WHAT AM I DOING?" THERE WAS ONE NIGHT THAT WE
REALIZED THE NEXT DAY THAT I HAD LEFT MY STEREO ON FOR THE
ENTIRETY OF THE SHOW.
THE GRATEFUL DEAD WAS PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND FOR THE WHOLE
SHOW.
>> Stephen: WOW!
>> YEAH.
NOBODY SEEMED TO NOTICE.
>> Stephen: DID YOU CLEAR ALL THAT MUSIC?
BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO GET THEIR PERMISSION.
>> DIDN'T CLEAR THE MUSIC.
THEY CAN RETROACTIVELY GIVE ME A CALL, I GUESS.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: HIM, NOT ME.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: NOW, ONE OF THE REASONS I LIKE TALKING TO YOU IS
THAT YOU KEEP THINGS INTERESTING.
YOU DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE THINGS THAT YOU SAY.
AS I SAID, YOU LET IT ALL HANG OUT THERE.
HAVE YOU ALWAYS BEEN THAT WAY, OR IS THIS THE PROFESSIONAL
ANDIE?
LIKE GROWING UP, WERE YOU LIKE THAT?
WERE YOU A, I GUESS, TROUBLEMAKER?
>> I WAS A LITTLE BIT OF A ( BLEEP ).
I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN SAY THAT ON CBS.
>> Stephen: YOU CANNOT.
>> YES, OKAY, VERY GOOD.
>> Stephen: IN CASE YOU WANT TO KNOW.
THE RESULTS ARE BACK IN, AND THEY'RE SAYING NO.
>> THERE'S KIND OF A FAMOUS STORY IN MY FAMILY THAT I THINK
REALLY ENCAPSULATES WHO I WAS THEN AND WHO I AM NOW.
WE WERE HAVING DINNER ONE 90-- THIS IS PROBABLY IN THE EARLY
80s.
AND THE DINNER WAS-- IT WAS STARTING TO GET A LITTLE
MUNDANE.
IT WAS BORING -- >> Stephen: JUST A NORMAL
DINNER?
>> YEAH, JUST A FAMILY DINNER, IT WAS JUST A, WHATEVER, TUESDAY
NIGHT.
AND I THINK THINKING, MAN, THIS IS A LITTLE LISTLESS, THIS
DINNER.
AND I SAID, "WOW, I CAN'T BELIEVE RICHARD NIXON DIED
TODAY."
AND, NOW, RICHARD NIXON HAD NOT PASSED AWAY --
>> Stephen: HOW OLD WERE YOU?
>> I WAS PROBABLY 10 OR 11.
AND MY -- >> Stephen: THAT'S A WEIRD
THING FOR A 10- OR 11-YEAR-OLD TO USE AS A GAG.
>> IT IS!
I WANTED TO SPICE UP THE VIBE.
AND JUST SEE HOW MY PARENTS WOULD REACT.
MY MOM JUMPED UP TO TURN THE TV ON.
SHE TURNED IT ON.
AND I SAID, "JUST KIDDING."
AND THEN THE WHOLE CONVERSATION WAS, "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
THAT YOU WOULD THINK, "A," THAT THAT'S FUNNY.
AND "B," WHY WOULD YOU--" I WAS LIKE, "I JUST WANTED TO SEE WHAT
HAPPENED."
>> Stephen: I GOT TO TELL A ROOM OF PEOPLE THAT NIXON DIED
ACTUALLY.
THE NIGHT HE DIED I WAS ON STAGE AT SECOND CITY.
>> WOW.
>> Stephen: IT'S A TWO-HOUR SHOW AND THERE WAS AN IMPROV
SET, AND I WOULD TAKE SUGGESTION.
I WENT BACKSTAGE, AND SOMEBODY WAS TAKING THE SUGGESTIONS, AND
I THINK IT WAS STEVE CARELL.
AND WENT OUT AND SAID, "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PRESIDENT NIXON
HAS DIED."
AND THEY THOUGHT I WAS JOKING BECAUSE IT WAS ON STAGE.
AND THEY SAW ON MY FACE I WASN'T.
THEY MADE THREE SOUNDS THEY WENT LIKE THIS: HA-HA.
OH...
OH."
THAT WAS THE SOUND.
>> I TOLD THIS STORY BEFORE, BUT I WAS LIVE AFTER AN EPISODE OF
"THE ORANGE COUNTY HOUSEWIVES" ONE NIGHT, THE NIGHT OSAMA BIN
LADEN DIED, AND I ANNOUNCED IT BECAUSE IT HAPPENED MOMENTS
BEFORE WE WENT ON THE AIR.
WE WERE LIVE.
AND I THOUGHT, YOU KNOW, I WORKED, AT CBS NEWS FOR 10
YEARS.
I WAS LIKE, IT'S MY-- AS A BRAFDER --
>> Stephen: IT'S YOUR RESPONSIBILITY.
>> I NEED TO TELL THE PEOPLE WHAT IS GOING ON.
AND OUR AUDIENCE DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO-- THIS WAS, OBVIOUSLY, A
GREAT VILLAIN WHO HAD DIED.
>> Stephen: YES.
>> THERE WAS SOME-- IT WAS VERY ODD AND IT WAS NOT-- I HAD
ALEXIS BELINO NEXT TO ME, WHO WAS GREAT "ORANGE COUNTY
HOUSEWIVES," WHO WAS REFERRED TO BY HER ENEMIES AS "JESUS JUGS."
IT WAS A VERY AWKWARD AFFAIR.
IT'S TO YOUTUBE.
>> Stephen: WHY-- THIS IS ON ME FOR NOT GOING-- WHY WAS SHE
CALLED BY HER ENEMIES JESUS JUGS?
>> OBVIOUSLY, YOU WOULD HAVE TO ASK TAMARA THAT, STEPHEN.
( APPLAUSE )
WATER INTO WINE?
WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK, ANDIE.
STICK AROUND.
WHEN I COME BACK, I WILL ASK ANDIE ABOUT AN ENCOUNTER WITH
MERYL STREEP YOU'LL WANT TO KNOW ABOUT.
( APPLAUSE )