-Joel, how have you been?
Thank you for coming back and seeing us.
-Thank you for having me.
And thank you for the greatest audience on the planet.
-Oh, my goodness. [ Cheers and applause ]
That's pandering.
-It's just pandering. -It's just pandering.
-It's pandering, just pandering. You look terrific, by the way.
-Thank you very much. It's a lot of Botox.
-No. Just down the center.
-Just on one side. -Weird.
-Well, I start with the left side and see if I like it,
you know, and then, if I like it, then I'll do the right side.
Yeah. -Oh, all right.
-Yeah, this is how I smile.
[ Laughter ]
Hey, thank you for being here because I'm happy that you're --
-No, thank you. -No, thank you.
-Thank you for the blackout.
-Now, is that a -- Is that ring --
What is it? -Oh, yeah.
No, you've inspired this --
This is my wedding ring, you guys.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Yeah, sorry, ladies.
Yeah, it's made of rubber,
because after hearing -- seeing what happened with your finger
and you had a metal ring that got caught
and turned your finger into a little deli.
[ Laughter ]
And I said, "I'm getting --" I got rid of my ring.
-I'm so happy you did that. -Yeah, I got rid of my ring,
dated for a few months, and then -- No.
-That's ridiculous. -No, so I bought the rubber one.
-Oh, I'm so happy you have that. Good for you.
I think rings are too -- They're too strong.
-Yes, I agree.
I mean, you are the perfect --
You should be the spokesperson for rubber rings.
-Thank you.
See, that's the nicest thing that anyone's ever said.
-I will talk to them.
I know that you need the money, so I will --
I know you need a couple extra bucks.
-You know why -- You know why I'm happy that you're here?
Because I'm happy that you're alive.
-Oh, thank you.
-And survived what I think
is one of the craziest things anyone's ever done.
You swam with sharks.
-Oh, I thought you were going to say
have coffee with butter in it, but, no.
-[ Laughs ]
That's up there. That's up there.
That's number two, but -- -Yeah.
Or texted without autocorrect, so, yeah.
-Explain -- -That's a shark.
-That's -- That's real.
-That's a great white right there.
-That is not. -That's a great white.
That's a great white. -That is Nemo.
-That's a great white. Back me up on this.
-Yes, of course.
-Yeah, okay, that's me.
As you can see, that is -- I'm smelling fear, and I --
-What was this -- This is Shark Week?
-No, it's called midlife crisis.
[ Laughter ]
-I've seen that show, yeah.
I'm starring in it right now, yeah.
-Shark Week, Rob Riggle is hosting this special
called "Shark Trip: Eat. Prey. Chum."
And we --
There's five celebrities, who we all die.
And --
-I love Rob Riggle. He's a funny guy.
-He's so funny, and then it's Anthony Anderson
and Damon Wayans Jr. and Adam DeVine.
They said, "Would you like to go to the Bahamas
and swim with sharks?"
And that seemed like a good idea.
And then -- then they said, "Do you know how to scuba dive?"
And I was like, "Yeah."
And they go, "Really?" And I was like, "No."
And so then they go, "Great."
And -- No, and then we went down there, and there's 25 sharks.
There's ch-- And all --
As well, our shark expert is missing a hand and foot.
-Stop it. -Which --
-Stop it. -Yeah.
Which you go, "Are you really an expert?"
-Yeah.
"Expert," in air quotes.
-Right, and Anthony Anderson was there, who I thought I was --
I thought I was outgoing like a golden retriever,
like, always wanting approval from people.
He walks through -- We were at this place called Atlantis.
He walks through the casino.
Everyone starts recognizing him,
and he's like, "Are we taking pictures, mother[bleep]"
And I am not kidding.
And then he has a meet-and-greet for an hour
with everybody coming up to him.
-Yeah, he's the nicest dude.
-He can heal people with his hands.
-No, he cannot. No, no, no.
-He made this lady walk. -No.