-Welcome. Welcome and thank you. -I feel like I've been here.
-No, no, no, no, no. You mean the whole show?
-The whole show. -The monologue...
-The setup and now. -...the second act and now?
Here you are again. -Oh.
-Did you say hi to Patrick backstage?
-I did say hi to Patrick.
-Did you see? Is he wearing the green blazer?
-Yeah, I don't think he's gonna take it off for like a year.
-You can't, right? -No way.
-That's an amazing deal. -What an accomplishment.
I was actually at the 18th green in Augusta, Georgia.
I was sitting right off the green.
-You were there? -I watched it happen.
-Wow! I mean, I watched it happen, but I wasn't there.
-I was there.
And the funny thing about it is -- there's no cellphones.
So nobody kind of really knows --
You only know what's going on by
the manual scoreboards, like in Fenway.
-Yeah.
-So they take a while to kind of update.
And then you hear kind of roars from
the other parts of the thing,
and you don't really know what's going on.
-Have you been there before? -No. My first time.
It was unbelievable.
I went with a friend of mine from back home in St. Louis.
We used to wait tables together. -You are a big golfer?
-I used to play golf, yeah.
I'm not very good, but it was one of those things, like,
in L.A., when I was unemployed, I got to play a lot of golf,
because the weather's always nice,
and I had literally nothing to do.
-Yeah, yeah.
-So it seemed like the thing to do.
-Now you're working, you don't golf as much?
-No. I don't have as much time. -Yeah.
But do you go out every now and then?
-Every now and again, yeah. It's fun.
-Who do you golf with? I'll golf with you.
-Let's do it. -I'd love to go.
-I've played with some cool folks.
There's a couple, like, places you can go,
like, where all the cool guys play.
-Oh, yeah, I know.
-Well, you don't live in L.A. -The places. Those places?
-You don't live in L.A.
There's places out here. -There's places here.
Of course. There's places everywhere.
-But... [ Laughter ]
-And I'm always there, man. You know me.
-I did get a chance to play once with Ray Romano.
-Oh, he's a fantastic golfer and a cool dude.
-He's the nicest.
And, I mean, obviously, everybody loves him.
-Well, I heard, based on the comedy stylings of Ray Romano.
I do love him, but he's a funny dude.
-Oh, funny guy and a great guy to play golf with.
-Is he funny on -- -Oh, my gosh.
Here's my impression of Ray Romano playing golf.
But I need your help. -Oh, sure.
-Can you do, like, the sound of a golf --
Like, you know, a thing?
-Of course. -Ready?
-Ready? [ Imitates golf club whooshing ]
-[ As Romano ] Oh. [ Laughter ]
Do it again. Do it again.
-Yep. -Hold on, hold on.
-[ Imitates golf club whooshing ]
-Come on. [ Laughter ]
-[ Imitates golf club whooshing ]
-Oh, be right. [ Laughter ]
-Dude, you have to create a Ray Romano golfing doll.
You pull the string, and it just says that.
-Oh. Oh, come on.
Why?
-We always love having you here,
and thank you for playing charades
and thank you for doing the bit earlier.
-Oh, my gosh. It's so fun.
-Playing the teacher from a sitcom
was always my favorite thing.
But you were actually -- I didn't know this.
You were a teacher in real life?
-I was a teacher.
Yeah, I was a daycare teacher in college,
'cause that was, again, the only job I could do
while still going to school and doing plays at night.
So, from like 3:00 to 6:00, I wrangled,
like, 5-year-olds everywhere.
And then when I graduated college,
I went back to my old high school in St. Louis, Missouri,
and I taught under my teacher --
[ Applause ] Right on. All right.
-Yeah, St. Louis. -The arch.
And I went back to my old high school and taught for one year.
That was pretty cool. -No way.
-Yeah, eighth-grade boys are a rough existence.
-Yeah.
-Like, teaching acting and improv to eighth graders
is a challenge.
There was a lot of times where it was like,
"We're gonna play the quiet game."
-Yeah. Everyone act like a tree.
-Everyone act like a tree, and I'm going to leave.
-[ Laughs ] -Hey-oh!
-Hey, that's fast. See? That's improv right there.
-That's improv right there. -That's improv right there.
That's lesson number one.
Well, dude, you went on to --
I mean, you've got to be a hero for these kids,
'cause now you're acting.
-I mean, I guess. -Oh, my gosh.
Why are you looking up at the -- -I don't know.
I just thought I saw something. -You thought you saw something.
Talk to me about "Beirut." Oh, my gosh.
-"Beirut" is coming out tomorrow.
It's a really exciting, kind of old-school,
throwback kind of movie.
It's the kind they don't really make anymore.
But it's a hard political thriller.
It takes place in the '70s and '80s in Lebanon,
in Beirut, Lebanon, and kind of examines, like,
what the geopolitical process and the process was of
kind of the beginnings of terrorism,
how we got to where we are now
and how do we solve conflicts without blowing people up?
But it was written by Tony Gilroy,
who went on to write "Michael Clayton"
and the "Bourne" franchise.
He's a very talented writer and he wrote an amazing script
about a really challenging and intellectual
and exciting kind of place in time.
-And Rosamund Pike is your... -Roz Pike, yeah.
-...is your co-star. -Yeah.
-Did you know her before you did this?
-I had met Roz through some mutual friends.
She kind of lived in my neighborhood in L.A. for a little while.
-She's super-fun. -Amazing.
And kind of looking at her,
you expect this sort of very
patrician, English, proper person,
and then she's like, "Hey, we're gonna go play
fire hockey later if you want to go."
And you're like, "Wait. What?"
That's literally the last thing I would expect anybody to say.
-What is fire hockey, again? -Let me tell you, Jim.
It's when you take a toilet-paper roll,
douse in gasoline, wrap it in chicken wire,
and beat it around with field-hockey sticks.
-That's correct. -I'm not kidding.
-That's what she does. I do know that.
She absolutely does that.
-We finished the thing, and people had, like, lost eyebrows.
-She's the greatest.
-The soles of my shoes melted off.
I'm not kidding. It was the craziest.
I was like, "Well, there we go. We played some fire hockey."