We are good to go!
First Vlog of the year and...I...
that's what I was supposed to do today.
I was supposed to cut my hair.
It look so poofy.
So this video was supposed to be the first video of the year.
But as most of you know, I fell about three weeks behind schedule
because the last video took over a month to make.
Never, ever doing that many effects in a video ever again.
I'll probably do another one.
But I wanted to start off the year with something a little more personal.
And today I'm going to be talking about something that I've never said publicly
and it's something no one other than my closest friends and some family know.
But first, let me start off by saying my New Year's resolution is pretty much
your typical New Year's resolution. Exercise more and dieting better.
Be more mature. The main one was I was gonna keep on making YouTube videos
without having to sacrifice my health. Most of the time, it really goes into writing.
I write them on my laptop, my phone, but if I wanna put them on paper,
that would probably look something like this [snap]
Yeah.. No.. I didn't sell too many shabus back in '09.
I don't even make, like, 99% out of these ideas
because most of them make absolutely no sense.
Out of all these there's just probably a few worth filming.
Dragon Ball Z Fight in Real Life. What a great idea - it doesn't sound
overly time-consuming, difficult, and no amount of stress to do at all.
[aaaah] dragon [beeping] dragon [beeping]
I don't want to pick that all up so I'm not going to push it
but you know how mad I am. [exhales] anyway, as fun as it is
behind the scenes and what-not, I was just trying to keep up with everything last year.
Skipping meals, losing sleep, feeling exhausted all day.. and I ended up
developing what was a minor addiction.
I don't know where these feelings come from
or what they mean. But there's just something about crystal meth
finding the smallest animal you could find and just strangling them.
It just gives you that rush, you know?
(offscreen) Yeah, I've been doing a lot better this week.
Thank you, guys. [clapping]
(offscreen) Very Good! Okay, let's move on to Ryan.
Hello, everyone. My name is Ryan and.. (others say, "Hi Ryan")
Hi. And over the years, I've kind of developed an addiction...
to energy drinks and caffeine.
[dissing sounds] Are you freaking kidding me, man? I do meth and I strangle animals for fun.
See Wes over there? He hooks up an IV when he sleeps so
he could drink alcohol 24/7. Ted shoots up heroin
just because he loves the movie Twilight that much.
You're like my own personal brand of Bella.
Phil? I don't even wanna tell you what he's on.
What is he on?
He's still on MySpace.
Stop! Where'd you go?
See? You see these? These are real problems. Why don't you come back when
you have a real addiction?
No, don't strangle him!
What? No, I wasn't going to do that. He's my dog.
He's only here because he's addicted to making immature people laugh.
What?
[fart sound] [laughter]
I don't know why I kept going with that. That was supposed to be a quick cut-away.
So anyway, it's not like I'm addicted to anything crazy like crack or crystal meth.
Well, I did just start getting into Breaking Bad.
Crystal meth does look kind of interesting
That's not a good joke. Do not ever do meth, kids.
(Man) Meth. Not even once.
Yes, that long cut-away was supposed to be a joke.
Caffeine addiction is a real problem. It's a real thing, and so was MySpace.
I'm a real drug addict. Yes, caffeine is legal, but it's real.
I think. Is it a drug?
See, I wouldn't know because I didn't graduate college... because of caffeine.
(Man) Caffeine. Not even once.
Okay, I didn't graduate because I wanted to make YouTube videos.
But making YT videos led to caffeine.
You could say that YT is a gateway drug.
YT is a gateway drug.
(Man) YouTube. The gateway to caffeinated meth.
Seriously, the caffeine thing got pretty bad last year.
I was literally drinking about 4 Red Bulls every single day.
When we were filming the Candy Crush video last year
If you watch that video again and replace Candy Crush with caffeine,
That's what I was talking about.
Symbolism. I don't even know if that is the right term... because I didn't
graduate college because of caffeine!
During that shoot, I was so exhausted, to finish, I drank 9 Red Bulls in one day.
That night, I crashed from Red Bulls, but I woke up later trembling
and my chest was in pain, so I knew I had to stop drinking so much caffeine.
I told myself, after the last video of the year, which was that one
(Screams)
I just needed a break from YT so I could stop drinking energy drinks for a month
because I was worried I was getting addicted to energy drinks.
I didn't think that was possible.
So why am I telling you all of this?
I know a lot of you are younger than me. When I was younger, in HS/college,
I was surrounded by people that did drugs, but I never did.
I thought addiction could never happen to me, only weak-minded druggies.
What I mean is, for all of you innocent kids, you will be addicted to drugs.
Just kidding, sorry. This is serious. Addiction can happen to anyone.
Be careful.
I honestly still drink energy drinks, but not 4 a day anymore. 1 or 2.
It's all about the babies.
People always make New Year's Resolutions and never follow through because,
once they screw up, I think they say, "screw it," and just let it go.
But it's all about the baby steps. This baby is moon walking.
If your New Year's resolution was to be nicer to people because you were
a dick last year, try to be a dick every other day. Then once a week.
Then once a month. Then you relapse into an all-dick week...
That came out wrong...
So did that...
Never give up. Take baby steps.
Nobody likes a dick and nobody wants an addiction, especially if it's being a dick
That would make sense because nobody likes either of those things.
That's why the word 'dick' is in addiction (sounds similar)
But it doesn't have to be you. You can beat that addiction.
You can beat that dick.
My other resolution was to be more mature.
It's clearly working.
(fart)
Anyway, I made this video as an update to the start of the year.
I know a lot of you don't care about the personal life stuff.
You probably want me to drink more energy drinks to keep making more videos.
Thanks so much for watching.
I know I had a slow start this year, but I am back in it and ready to make 2014
not just good... not just great...
but pretty average!
It's gonna be another... another cool year.
It's going to be weird.
If you thought this video wasn't weird, you've probably watched me for a while
You're probably also weird now.
It's a proven fact I make people weirder. Sorry.
So for all of the #lamps out there, I can't wait to spend the year with you.
For all the new viewers out there, all of the cool kids are doing it...
just do it!
(whispers) Subscribe!
(Chair creaking)
(Higa) oh, dude.. oh!
(Man) Subscribing to Nigahiga? Not even once.
Ahhh... I hit the edge of my bed. See you, guys!
(Higa) Hey, thanks so much for watching. If you want to see that video that took
(Higa) way too long to make, click the left image.
(Higa) If you want to see the Candy Crush video, click the right image.
(Higa) If you can't tell left from right, put your hands up and make an L.
(Higa) Now put your right hand down. There you go.