From elephants on drugs to two headed dogs, we look at 7 bizarre animal experiments.
7.
Goat Twins • IVF for goats?
Not a baaad idea.
Oh no wait, that’s sheep.
Anyway.
• There was this endangered mountain goat called an Ibex that scientists were trying
to boost the numbers of.
So they figured, why not knock up a normal goat with some Ibex embryos to pump out some
more kids.
But of course, the goat uteruses weren’t having none of that and the pregnancies wouldn’t
take.
UNTIL they found that if the lady-goat was already pregnant with her own offspring they
could hustle in the Ibex embryo.
So it’s like a two-for-one special delivery.
• BUT because of the store brand goat develops faster than the Ibex, he’s born super healthy
and the ibex is runt-ish and needs special care to survive.
If you’re a 90s kid you’ll know where I’m going with this; TWINS!!
IT’S A REAL LIFE TWINS!
You know, the movie Twins?
Day made people, it’s Ibex Danny DeVito. 6.
Spiderbait • NASA decided they wanted to see the effect
of different drugs on spider’s webs, mostly for shits and giggles.
They had to use their research money somehow I guess.
• Stoned spiders on weed tried really hard to spin a web but were pretty half assed about
it and lost the ability to concentrate about half way through.
Surprisingly caffeine made the spiders spin even shittier webs.
Whereas chloral hydrate, an ingredient in sleeping pills, knocked them out before they
could really make a good go of it.
The effort on amphetamine was fucking abysmal.
Obviously uppers have no use in the animal kingdom unless they’re being administered
in hilarious doses to Charlie Sheen.
• The lesson is, spiders on drugs are about as useless as humans on drugs.
The worst webs were created while high on the only legal drugs on the list.
It’s no wonder really.
All the awesome drugs are illegal.
They’re trying to limit our minds, man!
5.
Rats on Coke • These researchers wanted to see what rats
looked like; on cocaine!
• The researchers put isolated rats in cages and gave them the choice of normal water and
cocaine water.
Nine out of ten of the rats were all up in that cocaine until they got Rick James’d
out and died.
So then they created an enclosure more like rat heaven; rats got to socialise with other
rats, got laid, had awesome food and toys.
And when they gave them the option of the cocaine water, they found that when the rats
had awesome surroundings only a small percentage became addicted to it.
Most of them seriously weren’t interested though.
• But rats’ brains are more wired to procreation than avoiding the realization that you’re
middle-aged and live in your mother’s basement.
So if you’re addicted to opiates it might be because you’re trapped in a cage that
is your life.
Think about it.
4.
Men Who Stare at Sheep • Ever wondered what a sheep will do if
you stare him down?
These researchers wanted to know.
• Researchers compared the sheep’s response to a creepy human staring them down like a
hungry wolf with a cardboard cut-out of a person and a human staring at the ground.
Turns out, sheep deal better with weirdos staring them down than people do; mostly because
we perceive staring as a threat whereas sheep are kind of used to humans being weird.
They definitely showed more fear when dealing with people than with the cardboard man.
• But top the researcher’s surprise the sheep were more freaked out by the human staring
at the ground than anything else; like some dude that won’t make eye contact could be
capable of anything.
Whereas the fucker staring at you might just be a farmer thinking about how it’s a lonely
winter’s night.
3.
Two headed dog • This one is a little unsettling, particularly
to the dog-loving viewers, which is basically everybody.
• Much like a creature Dr Frankenstein would’ve made, a Soviet scientist in the 50s decided
to make a two headed hound.
Not through genetic mutation or anything fancy, just by sewing it together and crossing their
fingers.
They figured, hey, twice the head, twice the love.
But they were wrong.
The first of 24 procedures survived for four days.
Only one of the monstrosities survived a month.
• But at least these creatures didn’t suffer in vain; these experiments actually
helped understand how to transplant organs successfully.
Still I’m super glad this guy is dead because if he was still alive someone from Peta would
have him assassinated. 2.
Jive Turkey • Are Turkeys more about that bass or the
boobs?
Researchers figured out a way to find out!
• To see what got a male turkey all shook up, researchers gave a bunch of male turkeys
a female turkey doll to see what they’d do.
Sure enough, they got turned on by a plastic turkey on a stick, but who wouldn’t?
So they started taking away body parts from the prosthetic sex doll to see at what stage
the males would stop wanting to hump their lady love.
It got to the point where there was only a head left and the turkeys were still DTF.
They did similar studies and most bird still want their mate to have a body AND a head.
Only the turkeys were so desperate they would try to mount a floating head.
• Turns out it was the head these turkeys were really into.
Typical men, of course all they want is head.
And a sandwich.
Typical turkey men.
It’s just disgusting. 1.
Elephants on Acid • In the 60s some idiot researchers thought
it’d be fun to get an elephant off his face on acid.
• To say it did not go well, would be an understatement of elephant proportions.
They gave Tusko the elephant way too high of a dose of LSD.
Like, if they worked it out properly he should only have been given 8 milligrams of LSD but
they gave him 300 milligrams!
It was enough acid to make a football team of elephants trip balls.
The poor beast collapsed and started to wig out, so they gave him a heap of tranquilizers
to counter the LSD.
• Unfortunately, Tusko died shortly after, most likely from the tranqs they gave him.
Almost a decade later a different group of scientists got the dosage right and found
that elephants didn’t do much when they were on acid.
They, made weird chirping noises.
One elephant rolled around in hay for an extended period of time.
Within 24 hours all effects of the drug had worn off.
But still, don’t try administering LSD to elephants at home kids.
Outro: We have another question for you guys: What's the dumbest thing your boss ever told
you to do?
Let us know in the reddit page linked below and you might be featured in a future countdown.