this is why japanese wives hate their
foreign husbands
[Music]
so this one has been a long time in the
making as many of you know i've been
married to my japanese wife michael for
over three and a half years now in japan
during this time i've learned first hand
quite a bit about what japanese women
culturally expect when living with a
foreign husband like me from the u.s so
i wanted to share with you some
hopefully useful points and to be fair
today's examples of cultural
relationship issues are not just from
michael and i some points i learned from
my married foreign male friends with
japanese wives or my japanese wife
friends with their foreign husbands over
many years living in japan this is a
list of cultural relationship issues
that without compromise have created
many fights ongoing arguments resentment
and even hate leading some married
couples into divorce like many lists
though these are generalizations and not
every japanese woman or foreign man is
like this but if you're planning to get
married in japan these are some things
you might want to be aware of so you
don't end up hating your partner also i
should say that this list can be applied
if you're a foreign female with a
japanese husband finally if you're
already married in japan let me know how
these points sit with you and if i
missed any oh and before i start if you
want to help support the channel then
definitely check out the merch store
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alright let's get started with the list
number one forced to sit down while you
pee yeah we're getting into the stream
of things with this one but let me be
absolutely clear michael doesn't force
me to sit down while i pee at home this
one is actually from one of my friends
so here's the scenario initially my
friend was asked to sit down while he
peed by his japanese wife but after some
negotiating he was eventually able to
you know stand up for himself at home
but when he visits his wife's family's
place he definitely needs to pee sitting
down as a sign of respect he may have
been a lucky one though because in fact
about fifty percent of japanese males
today report that they pee sitting down
at home to japanese it's mainly a
cleanliness issue less flash means you
know less cleaning so there you go if
you're ever with a japanese partner you
may come across this one i don't know
what do you guys think would you stand
up for yourself on this one
[Music]
number two can't use ac while sleeping
despite japan's hot and humid summers
and freezing winters turn on the ac may
be considered fighting words in some
foreign japanese households as it
inevitably leaves one party
uncomfortable all throughout the night
see many japanese have grown up used to
japan's extreme seasonal climate
preferring to sleep in the natural air
environment without ever using air
conditioning in the summer since many
traditional japanese homes were designed
with natural open air circulation in
mind and in the winter japanese
developed extremely warm futons and
blankets so they could keep their body
warm even in nearly freezing room
temperatures without the need for ac the
problem with many foreigners though is
that they're not used to this
environment and can simply argue that
they can't be more tired than not
sleeping at all because their entire
body is dripping from sweat from the
humidity or freezing from the cold air
so yeah along with many international
couples this is something that michael
and i can relate to because we go back
and forth on it as well but these days
in our current apartment we reach more
or less a compromise on in the summer
and off in the winter fortunately due to
our newer style concrete apartment
building in tokyo ac is turned on in the
summer because it's also too hot for
michael to sleep without the ac and in
the winter the room itself doesn't get
extremely cold so i'm able to make it
through the night with a hoodie and a
beanie but yeah i prefer to be able to
sleep in just a shirt number three the
rice must always be fluffed i don't know
if a couple will get divorced over this
one but if you are eating a lot of rice
at home which is common in japan this
one will definitely annoy a japanese
wife on the regular see japanese from
when they start eating rice as little
toddlers are taught that rice knows he
made fluffy and airy when eating so
newly cooked rice in the pot looks like
this kind of flat and compressed some
listeners think that if you're to take a
scoop of rice out yourself you leave the
rest of it just like this brand new for
the next person
wrong in japan you're supposed to mix it
like this and make it fluffy for the
next person japanese argue that it
tastes way better when each grain is
aired out as such on the other hand i've
seen first hand even at a japanese
teppanyaki restaurant in the states a
bowl of rice being packed down before
serving it to customers maybe to
maximize the portion of rice being
served anyway you want to piss off your
japanese wife then pack in a rice
tightly before serving it to her see
what happens
number four you must take a bath before
going to bed now a lot of you have seen
my day in the life videos and some of
you have commented why do japanese take
a bath at night instead of the morning
well it's all about cleanliness simply
for many japanese women you're not
getting into bed with them without
taking a bath beds are considered a
clean environment in japan many japanese
don't want to sleep with someone who's
been sweating outside all day or has wax
in their hair let alone have someone
enter their bed with clothes from
outside mixed with dust dirt bacteria
and wherever random place they sat on
it's the same concept with leaving your
shoes at the door in japan not track in
whatever you stepped on outside just to
a higher level of cleanliness i even
know one japanese wife that's taken it
to the extreme where you have to change
even when entering the home to say a
clean living room attire so this could
be a big one if you can't reach a
compromise quickly then the relationship
may be a non-starter and if you do
compromise early in the relationship but
later on stop doing it then there could
be a chance someone might start hating
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bath must be washed every time before
using it this one kind of piggybacks off
the previous point but yeah cleanliness
is the utmost importance in many
japanese homes a lot of japanese don't
want to get into a bath that hasn't
already been washed as it feels gross to
them like bathing in a pool of bacteria
personally i've had to deal with this
one i'm not a bad person and prefer
showers but my wife and son are all
about that bad life as all things in our
marriage though michael and i share the
load so although i don't even use the
bath i wash it every day for them before
they use it if you haven't realized the
theme of this video yet it's compromise
otherwise you might end up hating being
married in japan number six forced to
throw away frozen meat after two weeks
so this one also i experienced firsthand
see it's common in japan to throw away
meat that you've frozen yourself after
two weeks such as ground beef or ground
pork now as someone from the u.s i'm
used to meat lasting up to 12 months in
the freezer but in japan things like
frozen fish and frozen chicken is said
to be good for up to only one month and
steaks only between one to two months
apparently in japan food is intended to
be eaten as fresh as possible without
any loss in taste or quality and
obviously safety trumps all of this that
said there are frozen items that are
professionally packed in japan that can
last longer but yeah when packing frozen
meats yourself in this country your
partner may force you to throw away
frozen meats as that's what's commonly
done this one i've just kind of gotten
along with as my wife does most of the
cooking basically these days we just
keep it simple by smaller amounts that
can be eaten within a few days number
seven don't use a clothes dryer believe
it or not even in this day and age
japanese people still prefer drying
their clothes by hanging than to dry it
in a dryer machine like this so much so
that 88 of the japanese population hang
dry their wash clothes either inside or
outside it's so much part of japanese
culture that clothes hanging features
are still built into newer homes
japanese believe that it's gentle around
the close reduces wrinkles limits
shrinking and when hanging outside in
the sunlight acts as a disinfectant plus
overall it's cheaper for me though i'm
personally into the convenience of these
drum washers and dryers in japan that do
everything in one continuous cycle and
although my wife michael grew up in a
home where they hung their clothes she
was happy to join me in the drier life
in fact she just made some slight
adjustments like she started buying
clothes that were slightly bigger to
account for the dryer shrink you just
save so much time with these machines
you put in your dirty clothes and they
come out hot clean and dry so maybe for
this one even though your japanese wife
has never used one of these dryer
machines in their house if you introduce
it to her then she might be likely to
use it because it's just so convenient
on the other hand my foreign friend who
also owns a washer and dryer system like
this had to abandon the dry feature as
soon as he got married to his japanese
wife as she definitely preferred to hang
all of their clothes so yeah each couple
has a different threshold for what's
acceptable for them
and number eight get your bowls right so
yeah this one personally caught me off
guard as i really didn't even know it
was a thing until my wife pointed it out
and it's less of an i hate use scenario
but why did you do that kind of thing in
japan probably in some other countries
as well each bowl has a specific purpose
rice bowls for rice miso soup bowls for
miso soup and so on apparently putting
my salsa in the rice bowl or using the
miso soup bowl for my rice is a bit of a
no-no in japan to be fair though typical
japanese meals have miso soup and rice
so if you do use these bowls for another
purpose it could mess up the table
arrangement so yeah this one definitely
annoys michael but i make the mistake
all the time so she just lives with it
but depending on who you marry this
could be more or less a forgivable
offense fun fact did you know that rice
bowls in japan are not equal japanese
actually have rice bowls called mayoto
jawan husband and wife rice bowls where
the man's bowl is bigger and like my man
biggie once said if you don't know now
you know i hope this video helps you
understand some of the cultural
compromises you may need to be aware of
if you decide to marry a japanese person
at the end of the day it really depends
on the person if they care about these
such things but knowing some of these
points may help you guys avoid hating
each other in the future that said if
you guys like this video help me out and
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in the next one