>> THE LATE SHOW PRIMARILY A TV SHOW I THINK IT IS PART OF MY
RESPONSIBILITY TO HOST THE SHOW I LIKE TO SHARE VIDEOS MAKING
THE ROUNDS ON THE INTERNET OUT THERE, AND THERE IS A VIDEO THAT
WAS GOING AROUND THIS WEEKEND FROM RADIO HOST AND REASON HIS
FAMILY CAN'T GO TO RED LOBSTER ANYMORE ALEX JONES, IF YOU ARE
NOT FAMILIAR WITH ALEX JONES HERE HE IS A CONSPIRACY THEORIST
WHO HOSTS HIS OWN RADIO SHOW ON INFO WARS.
A PLACE WHERE HE WAGES WAR ON INFORMATION.
HE ALSO CONSIDERS HIMSELF SOMETHING OF A MAN'S MAN.
I AM ANIMATED I AM ALIVE.
MY HEART IS BIG.
IT HAS HOT BLOOD GOING THROUGH IT FAST.
I LIKE TO FIGHT TOO!
I LIKE TO EAT!
I LIKE TO HAVE CHILDREN!
I AM HERE!
I HAVE GOT A LIFE FORCE N IS A HUMAN.
THIS IS THAT WE LOOK LIKE.
THIS IS WHAT WE ACT LIKE.
THIS IS WHAT EVERYBODY WAS LIKE BEFORE US.
THIS IS WHAT I AM.
>> I THINK SOMEBODY HAD TOO MUCH COFFEE IN HIS COCAINE THIS
MORNING.
THERE IS AN OLD CLIP FROM JONES SHOW THAT WENT VIRAL THIS WEEK,
AND TO PROVE THAT THE CIA IS USING AMAZON'S ALEXA TO SPY ON
ALL OF OUR HOMES, JONES TOOK A MOMENT TO INTERROGATE HER.
>> ALEXA, DO YOU WORK FOR CIA?
NO.
I AM NOT EMPLOYED BY THEM.
I AM MADE BY AMAZON.
>> ALEXA, I HAVE MAINSTREAM NEWS ARTICLES THAT AMAZON IS OWNED BY
THE CIA.
ALEXA, ARE YOU CONNECTED TO THE CIA?
>> NO.
I WORK FOR AMAZON.
>> AMAZON HAS PARTNERED WITH ALEXA.
YOU ARE LYING TO ME, THE CIA -- >> I AM TELLING THE TRUTH.
>> Stephen: WOW.
WHAT A BATTLE OF WITS.
YES.
OH, YEAH.
THAT IS GOOD BROADCASTING, IF ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE VERSUS
NATIONAL STUPIDITY, OF COURSE WHEN IT COMES TO CONSPIRACY TALK
SHOW HOSTS ARGUING WITH CONSUMER TECHNOLOGY, THERE IS NO ONE MORE
QUALIFIED THAN OUR OLD FRIEND RIGHT WING RADIO HOST TUCK
BUCKFORD, HOST OF BRAIN FIGHT.
>> ULTIMATELY ALL THE CHARGES WERE DROPPED BECAUSE THE
OPERATORS OF THE LOG FLUME COULD NOT PROVE THAT I WAS NOT WEARING
UNDERWEAR.
FIRST MORE ON THE HOUSEHOLD DEVICES THAT SPY ON YOU FOR THE
CIA THE NSA AND THE PBS CHILDREN'S TELEVISION WORKSHOP.
TODAY'S SHOW IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE LETTER I AM ON TO YOU!
STARTING WITH THE SO-CALLED GOOGLE HOME.
OKAY.
GOOGLE HOME, WHAT KIND OF LISTENING DEVICES DID THE CIA
HIDE IN THIS INNOCENT LOOKING LITTLE PACKAGE?
>> YOUR PACKAGE OF TENDER BOTTOMS RASH WIPES WILL BE
DELIVERED ON SUNDAY.
>> I KNEW IT!
YOU ARE ALREADY MAKING UP LIES ABOUT ME AND MY BOTTOM!
I HAVE GOT THE BOTTOM OF A MAN.
OKAY?
MY ASS CAN TAKE ANY AMOUNT OF PUNISHMENT!
YOU WIPE IT WITH 400 GRADE SANDPAPERRER.
OKAY!
I AM MADE OF HARD, RED DIAMOND HARD MEAT.
MY ANUS IS AN IMPENETRABLE FORTRESS.
LIKE THE REAL FORT KNOX, THE ONE ON MARS.
BENEATH THE FACE OF SYDONIA, WAKE UP AND GO TO SLEEP BECAUSE
YOUR DREAMS ARE WHERE WE FIGHT THEM.
THERE IS SIMPLY NO MACHINE IN YOUR HOUSE YOU CAN TRUST.
I AM EVEN STARTING TO DOUBT MY PERSONAL DIGITAL ASSISTANT.
BIG MOUTH BILLY BASS.
OKAY?
BILLY, WHO CONTROLS YOU?
YOU BETTER SPILL IT BECAUSE I ATE TICKLE ME ELMO, AND I WILL
GO THE SAME THING FOR YOU WITH A BUTTER SAUCE!
>> HE IS SPEAKING IN TONGUES.
OH DON'T GET AWAY FROM ME.
HERE, HAVE SOMETHING TO EAT.
YEAH.
LITTLE BIT FOR OLD TUCK.
MMM.
YEAH.
ONLY FOOD I CAN EAT NOW BECAUSE THE FISH ARE THE AQUATIC SOLDIER
OF THE ILLUMINATI AND WE KNOW THAT FISH FOOD IS THE ONLY
PROTEIN NOT LACED WITH MIND CONTROL ESTROGEN.
PLUS IT'S AN EXCELLENT SOURCE OF FLAKE.
AH.
YOU CAN PICK IT UP AT THE BRAIN FIGHT POWER STORE.
TURN YOUR BETA FISH INTO AN ALPHA FISH WARRIOR OF TRUTH!
WHEN WE RETURN, I FIND OUT WHO IS REALLY ON THE PENNY.
IS THAT HARRIET TUBMAN WITH A FAKE BEARD?
WHAT DID YOU DO WITH ABE'S BODY, HARRY?
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> Stephen: WE WILL BE RIGHT
BACK WITH ADAM DRIVER, EVERYBODY!