when you pull it they both put the arms
named wash your hands in peace yes you
can get a photo bed of how to tell them
to save me or over put on your piece but
then from that woman on virtually
everything has to be done for him on
your face like that
it's as simple as that right put on your
face or I'll have to Reiki that's it
drove Tina drunk the bathroom so start
his daily routine - in all the way
through the day look then we turn around
that's it later that's safe that's it
they will lay that slowly careful and
that's 24/7 yeah
it's 50 miles each way so it's 100 mile
round-trip my name is Julia I care for
my husband Bob we live in Essex what are
you hoping for today I hope you make me
laugh it usually does I hope he
recognized me what's harder for you
having him in hospital or having him at
home it's been harder at home and it
will be hard again well the other day
when I rang you you told me you were on
a ship do you remember that what I say
why were you going alone don't know okay
bob has dementia he has Parkinson's and
he has diabetes that causes a number of
problems for him a number of problems
for me his carer full-time carer I had
to give up my job to look after Bob
ready 1 2 3
good man you know people think dementia
you're just going to get forgetful
you're going to get a little bit muddled
it's that's just the tip of the iceberg
when I go I'm looking forward to seeing
coming home because I've missed him I
want to give him another chance I want
to allow it to give him some life with
what bit of freedom liberty mobility and
mind he's got left
my name's our McGuire I live in
Newcastle upon Tyne I've been married to
John a 46 nearly 46 year and I looking
care for John now as he has our famous
are you okay
are you doing yes II go drink Yeti it
would be cool that now you know I was a
guy as John be just like a
happy-go-lucky kind person didn't really
worry about anything a worker a whole
hard worker mmm-hmm almost went to work
hard worker but if I just plodding along
like everybody else d cities I brought a
family up and we just thought was maybe
through long into retirement years and
see what happened then Oh sittin on the
dock of the bay watching the time but
unfortunately that didn't really
materialize costs obviously John was
diagnosed in 2012 when he was 57 I think
one of the reasons I fell in love with
him he was just so funny
it was his humor it just made me cry
with laughter I remember the way he was
how good-looking he was and then I look
at him now and he's so changed after 3 1
2 Bob's been in and out of hospital for
many months Bob is only 69 so really too
young to be thinking of other options
keep going
alright what's it like to be home right
feel good easier are you hopeful I've
had a chance to prepare the house but
I've had more of a chance to prepare
mentally and emotionally yeah I'm gonna
come and help you know I hope that y'all
come by tomorrow yeah I'll pay the
trousers did you you used to get good
days then you'd get good half days then
you'd get good air was and you you still
hang on to that hope that hey he's back
but cause he isn't back this is one of
the things that can take so long the
toilet I think I'm quite positive what
body I think is telling me otherwise
every day you lose a little bit more no
matter what you do that will never come
back next one
it's a cruel doesn't matter it's it's
awful there's going to be no happy end
and whatsoever and it's just awful
finish me a cup of tea okay John yeah
what do you think about what you think
about n she's doing a lot for you isn't
she
all you get back is known that you're
doing your best right you're gonna go
for it then straight up the stairs to
bed Bob go forward don't don't lean back
on me cuz we're both go down the stairs
is it getting more difficult to love the
man that you know I don't think it's
harder to love him it's hard to love
some of the stuff that happens lovely
diminishes our faith because not only
does it steal your husband but if you
fought for me Bob help me
it steals your hopes and it steals your
dreams it steals your future and in a
strange way it's stealing my life we're
sort of decent now so and open that door
just get a picture of probably the worst
part of the day
I have to try and have something to look
forward so because if you have an it's
gonna claim you it's going to make you
ill it's going to make you depressed
because you're exhausted should not be
bed with you in an ideal world
absolutely yes it's not the debenture
that is killing me
it's exhaustion don't wake me up
that was quite tough it isn't
sustainable
Nikki tunics I'll tell myself ik and
tell myself a kind of forehead
raindrops are falling on my head and
just like the guy whose feel too big oh
ha ha for she just have to lake train
grasp onto bits what your things still
made me you may get something out of
that's what I'll try to do
grasp any little tiny bit of happiness
from wonderful better wood and just
crane meet the most of us more we do you
want to sit here you enjoy just attend
now sit here all I do is just hope I can
do the best in the plaster so we do the
balloon first can you see that John
might have to go into some residential
care in the end being realistic that
probably will happen stuff it is for
then it's tougher for John and he
doesn't also I don't think folks our
hunger came to you're very tough on
yourself and you're very lovely to him
just know what see not we recall this
because there may be somebody can give
us the answer just what we're supposed
to do at night
people say to me about the night's bob
was shout his head off
some nights he was falling out of bed as
well he was just wetting the floor he
was laying in your ear I couldn't lift
him I think care is desperately need
time out I said stand up please stand up
stand up there's never that wonderful
break and this shoe you're able to pay
for it and care is so expensive I'm
going to my GP but if you go Bob's going
to yeah bob has to come to me you talked
about residential care is that an
impossibility where are we with that
because we've got savings we'd have to
fund that when I've been phoning around
various homes some of them were quoting
1800 pound a week and I think how how
are you charging that I'm quite
convinced that somebody's getting very
rich out of frail vulnerable very very
sick people and that is wrong
since anymore oh it's listen who's on
they feel cute on me
anybody you can see on me who you
remember remember those hours this is
Amanda no Amanda
what did for Paula Liu did you see try
not to think about it too far ahead
because no one knows what tomorrow's
gonna bring
what about the future I worried about
that probably from d1 because of the
money
mm-hmm yeah I probably couldn't afford
alipio cause it would take all
children's money with him anyway
so really if it was this more in time
I'll be left with nothing me after all
the care you're giving huh you could
still end up with scary it's very scary
very scary trying to work something out
yeah yeah in his head he knows what he's
gonna do but this windows with dementia
that it's almost like the brain fires up
and people are able to do things and
then suddenly they're not and that's
where that hope it hope comes in when
they're okay and he's thing I've got
them back be heaven find a big thrill
you can't do things we can't organize he
can't sort
he can't plan he's lost those skills and
those abilities when Bob's not rested
well he's not very good mobility wise
just just talk about you for a moment
what do you want I just want him to be
well I want I want a magic wand I wonder
like I want a miracle I can't have that
dementia will take over and destroy
every part of your life it's a thief it
comes along and it's feels and actually
in the ending kills as well and I'd say
to other carers to all in your power
don't don't let it claim you as well the
loneliness is just terrible all
repulsions here only part of them
there's a massive port missing it's not
really Chand
it's not really him no but it is is
still John still it on my way but it's
different John if you had a moment of
clarity with him if he had a moment what
would you say to him
you