- I already know it's getting weird.
I can see, I can just imagine something blowing up.
- Researchers have deduced that generosity
has been shown to have a wealth of benefits,
such as positive effects on health, lifespan,
or even relationship satisfaction.
Now I don't exactly have time
to show you people's health improving
or lifespans increasing,
but testing relationship satisfaction?
Now that's right up my alley.
When people think about generosity,
they often put it in terms of money:
How much you donate to charity,
how well you tip, or how often you pick up a friend's tab.
But you can also be generous
with your time, affection, forgiveness,
by making sacrifices, and showing respect.
Research has shown that couples who exhibit long-term
generous behavior, even in small, thoughtful ways,
like making their partner a cup of coffee every morning,
report higher relationship satisfaction
and lower levels of conflict.
To see if generosity can have that much
of an impact, we brought in couples
and took a baseline measurement
of their current relationship satisfaction.
Then we gave each person in the couple a role to play.
- Justin and Claudia?
- Claudia.
- Nice to meet you both, excuse me.
So you are the Brown's, right?
- Yes.
- So I take it that means you're married.
- Yes, we've been married a little over 15 years.
- How long have you been together?
- Two years.
- Almost three.
- Are you guys married?
- Engaged.
- Engaged! Congratulations!
- Thank you, thank you.
- Would you guys say that you're
pretty generous with each other?
- Her more than me.
- Her more than you?
- Yeah.
- Well, Claudia, good news.
Today it's gonna be the other way around completely.
So here's what's gonna happen.
Today you're the asker.
- Okay.
- You are gonna be the giver.
- Okay.
- We're gonna act like this is just,
you know, your normal living room.
We're not even here.
Every time you hear a buzzer
I'm gonna hold up a little card.
Kelsey, you're gonna take it, you're gonna read from it,
and it's gonna be just a suggestion
for something for Edward to do.
It's your choice.
You can either say, yes, you'll do them,
or, no, decline it if it's too weird
or whatever reason you don't want to do it.
- But I do have the option?
- You have the option.
- Awesome.
- You don't have to do it.
- Yay, I'm stoked.
You're scared, I can tell.
- I wouldn't say scared.
- You happy with making me do stuff?
- I loved it.
- I know.
- Can you make me a coffee, please?
- Of course.
- Please?
- Yes.
- Okay, I can do that.
All right.
- I'll bring the coaster.
- Wow, this is awesome.
- Yeah?
- Fine attention to detail, honey.
- Thank you. - I love it.
- Can I have the whole cookie?
- Yes.
- Yeah.
- Um, yes.
- Aww! - It's all yours.
- It's a heart!
- I don't wanna give you the whole cookie.
I'm a little hungry as well.
I think that we need to share the cookie,
like we shared the coffee.
- Ask your partner to promise
to do something he won't normally do.
- Let's watch an action movie.
- And I have to promise that?
- Yes.
- You know what, cook me dinner.
I want crab legs, lobster tails,
yellow rice, shrimp scampi.
- Honestly-- - What?
- I will cook you this meal, as long as you
clean up the kitchen afterwards.
- Okay.
- The Avengers. All of 'em.
- How many are there?
- Remember when you said you didn't want
to see Fifty Shades Freed?
For completion's sake,
we've already seen the first two.
- Oh, that is torture.
- Hmm. No.
- Ah, okay.
- Can I paint your nails?
- Okay.
- I mean, I don't want any of it,
but I'm going along for your love.
- You know how to do this?
- Yeah, you take it out and you just brush it off, right,
and then you...
Oh, that's good!
- It's pretty, you did good, Bill.
- Can I paint your nails?
- No.
- Foot massage.
- Oh heee...
- Foot massage!
- Aw, y'all couldn't wait for me to tell me.
- No, no, it's me!
- How bad you want it?
- I love this!
- Foot massage or no?
It's okay!
- No.
I don't want to!
- Call my parents
- and tell them how much you enjoy spending time with me.
That would be a problem.
That would be interesting, yes, my parents speak Italian.
She doesn't.
- Mi piace.
- Yes.
- Pescado?
- No that's--
- That's fish in Spanish!
- Hi mom!
It's Pamela!
- So I'm just calling to tell yall
that I really enjoy spending time with you
and my husba-daddy.
- [Woman on Phone] That was so very kind.
- [Man On Phone] We love you guys.
- We love you too!
- I wanted to let you know how much I enjoy spending time
with your son.
He's the love of my life, you raised a good man,
I know my father-in-law is very proud of him.
- Mi piace pasado--
- Passare.
- Passare tempo con voi!
- Once time was up we retested their
relationship satisfaction levels
to see if there was a change.
After eight couples had gone through the experiment
we tallied up the results.
Half the couples showed generosity every change they got.
While the other half still behaved generously
but declined to do two of the seven tasks.
- No.
- Both groups' relationship satisfaction went up
but partners who watched their significant other
respond affectionately and show more generous behavior
saw their satisfaction increase an average of 5% more
than those whose partners were less giving of their time
and energy, but here's the kicker,
those givers who made the sacrifices,
doing the deeds without expecting reciprocity,
reported higher relationship satisfaction levels, too.
It's emotionally rewarding to both give and receive.
- Sometimes in a relationship it's a dance,
sometimes you do a little bit more than the other times.
Because you want to make your partner happy,
and it makes you happy!
- It's the most fulfilling thing to do something
for someone, you know?
It makes me feel awesome, to do something
for the person I love.
- It's a give and take, I get what I put out
so because I give and he gives,
it's very rewarding to be generous.
- I'm caring for like a plant almost,
I'm keep nurturing, and watering and fertilizing the plant
and I know that that plant is an investment.
- Yeah you feel like almost it's also coming back to you.
- You've been together 15 years.
- We have been.
- Married.
- 15 years yes.
- Over that span of time,
has it been difficult to keep doing small things
for each other?
- In some ways, it's easier.
When you go through a lot of struggles
and you become even stronger as a couple,
there's a piece of you that just wants to do more.
- I feel much more attachment, much more devotion,
and more apt to want to do things for you.
- Our experiment today showed the obvious upside
of responding generously to your partner,
the relationship satisfaction it brings for both partners.
- But this was just a small snapshot of their relationships.
Imagine what acting generously could do over the long haul!
Research has shown that long-term generosity
with those you care about most
is one of the keys to relationship bliss,
and based on the snippet I've seen today,
I think they're right.
So go forth, be generous and share the knowledge.
♪ Soul Pancake ♪