Hello and welcome back to the Most Amazing Channel on the internet.
I am your host Rebecca Felgate and I am feeling in the mood for love!
That may be because it is nearly Valentine’s Day or maybe because I am somewhat always
in the mood for love…..although today things have taken a bit of a turn for the worse as
we talk the Top 10 Scariest Valentines Day Cars….
Just think of me as a creepy cupid ! I think it is important to state that all of the cards
are real cards that actually used to be on the market back in the day when people were
literal psychos about love!
Before we get into this weird list, though, please do let me know if you will be sending
a valentines card this year?
If you want to say who it is to, too, I always enjoy the gossip!
While you are down there leaving a comment, why don’t you leave a thumbs up on this
video and subscribe - maybe you’ll be our 5 millionth…
I guess it is better to arrive late to a party than never arrive at all!
I guess if you were Pewdiepies 5 millionth you’d be pretty early to the party, so whatever.
INSTA
Think of this as a list of cards you should never by… or hopefully never receive…
if you do…get out now!
OUT I say!
Aint love Swell at number 10!
Nothing says romance than an infectious disease….
Or whatever is going on here!
Has he had a bad fall ? Has he got the pox?
Is it just the card that has aged making him look as if he has a rash.
The card reads – Aint Love A Swell Condition…
I caught it from you.
I guess it really puts the sickness in in sickness and in health.
Personally….
I would stay away from any suggestions that you may have given or received something contagious.
In the age of the prominent STI…I just isn’t sexy.
Love is Pretty Delicious at number 9 So my Nanna would always say semi creepy things
to babies like…ooohh look how cute their little toes are, I could eat them up….so
I am assuming maybe it is just an age thing.
Now I am going to read you the text on this card before I go ahead and show it to you…
It reads “you’re sweet enough to eat, my valentine.”
Like a bit creepy but kinda cute in a Nanna squeezing a babies toe kind of way.
Sure.
BUUUUT then we see the picture and it is all kinds of OH NO.
Like….
I mean she is being cooked alive in a cauldron isn’t she.
There is no two ways about that.
She is probably scalding her hands right now on the sides of it.
Nothing says I love you like a horrible murder followed by cannibalism… right?!
No, Jeremy… you’re wrong.
This isn’t flattering….
This is bright red flashing warning sign.
Love CAN turn you into a bit of a monster, I agree….
But this really isn’t sending the right message at number 8 - We have a Dracular meets
Jeckel and Hyde thing going on.
A GREAT card for Halloween, don’t get me wrong… but not a suitable valentines token….unless
you have meet a freak like you and you both mutually consent to this madness…in which
case… that makes me happy in some dark weird twisted way.
So …. I mean there is a lot to digest here isn’t there….
A child vampire mixing up a love potion with her tongue out like…hissss….
Bats encircling her head.
The card reads – What is the secret formula?
You drive me Batty!
Like I am not sure this makes 100% conceptual sense, but none the less… valentines cards
probably aren’t the time for off colour doping references.
Romance with a side of Rohipnol.
Jealous is an ugly beast at number 7 we have the HAMMER
Urrrrm…... there is rather a lot wrong with this cutesy card….
I hate to say it but I think that it is depicting a pre murder scene.
A boy and a girl….
They look like children.. they’re sitting under an umbrella sharing a cute moment…
there is even a puppy involved… but the jealous garden gnome has got loose and he
might actually be about to smash their bodies to smitherines… the caption….it STRIKES
me that I love you.
Now I look at the dog again, I feel like he knows danger is coming… he is about to bark
and go crazy… but the hammer gnome!
I mean who would send this card?!
UH OH it is the Kitchen apparatus from your nightmares….
Coming in to number 6 we have this demon transformer ….somekind of half pan half human.
Lets just have a look at this straight off the bat shall we. *pull horrified shocked
face* URM…….I mean.
That is literally the scariest face I have ever seen.
It looks like a weirdly spherical killer clown.
I do NOT like!
It reads – My Valentine….
I’m pan handling for your love.
Maybe this was funny in the 1950s… but I feel like nobody says pan handling anymore.
Also… once again can we just look into those crazy red eyes….
They are wine and lolling around everywhere… also mate, I’m not being funny but what
do you think you are doing with that spatula?
All the better for pan handling you with?!
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY….
LET ME SHOW YOU I LOVE YOU BY REFERENCING INCEST… at number 5 we have OH brother…
What the literal frogs leg is going on here….. her…face!!!!!!!!
What is that face about!
I’m guessing from her dress and the microphone that she is maybe some kind of freak show
act…and the card reads I DON’T WANT YOU TO BE MY BROTHER, I WANT YOU TO BE MY VALENTINE.
Like…….who said ANYTHING about sibblings?!
I am disturbed on… like… many levels… but then looking at her obviously deformed
face I am wondering if this card is actually suggesting that she is a child of incest….
In which case this just got way way darker.
I would say as a rule of thumb… leave incest off the table when it comes to selecting a
valentines card!
Mask.
Masks freak me out.
Why would you need to wear a mask unless it was a Halloween or b Halloween.
Or …you know….c) you are committing a horrible crime and you don’t want someone
to know your identity….
Be afraid at number 4 Right….
Now I know the card advises that you don’t panic… it reads… don’t be afraid, it’s
only me with your valentine….
But…
I MEAN WHAT ARE YOU UP TO CARLA.
Why are you holding a mask with a disconcertingly long nose and WHISKERS and what is that look
on your face about? *say cutesy* Are you about to scoop out my eyes with a spoon … yes,
I think you are!
Why are you holding the card behind your back, too?
I think you need to keep your hands where we can see them, love.
Bang Bang you shot me down at number 3.
Cupid’s arrow is already a pretty intense notion… a lot of hunter imagery and conceptual
wounding.
Can we maybe draw the line at kids wielding guns though?
No?
We can’t?
OKAY.
Like bro, I don’t care if you have a cute rabbit or your overalls are on fleek….
You pointing a gun at me literally makes you the last human I would want to date…and
also…well.. on the card this gun weilder looks about three years old just to add more
layers of absolute nope.
The card reads I am aiming straight at your heart – be my valentine….
Sounds… a lot like a threat.
*nervous laugh*
Well this is awkward at number 2…
I aint kidding…
I’d like to kidnap you.
Jog on, little pirate.
Jog on.
Could you… if you’re sending me a card… if it isn’t too much to ask… could you
like maybe not joke about abducting me?!
Oh, you weren’t joking….
I am probably going to go with no, then… no I wont be your valentine….
Do you mind staying right there …I just need to make a quick phone call.
Finally at number one we have the scariest and most poor taste valentines card I have
ever clapped eyes on….
We have some deathly murderous blackmail….
A card is left on your doorstep on valentines morning – you open up that red envelope
to see this………….
A sad skunk sitting on a dock with a gun to his head, a noose around his neck and a rock
tied to the end… the texts says…I’ll be sunk if you wont be my valentine….
… sunk…skunk…sunk…skunk….
I don’t know, man, this hallmark card is in TERRIBLE taste.
Like literally the worst!
Imagine receiving that….
So glad I said yes to going out with you because you literally threatened to both blow your
brains out and drown yourself.
Like…… maybe burn this card with fire and just buy me some flowers and let me exercise
my own free will!
OKAY, so that was the Top 10 Scary Valentines Cards …. What an absolute insanity splatter
of a list!
Which did you think was the scariest?
Don’t forget to tell me if you are sending a valentines card this year and tell me who
to if you want to!
COMMENTS FROM Scariest TINDER Stories just cause ….
Sabrina the Ghost Said: i am a "single for life" girl.
my ex bf cheated on me for a year and broke up with me on valentines day... then confessed
about it and told me the whole story on EID... and has been trying to get back with me for
2 years.
aftar that i was done.?
That is Awful and I am glad you are done with him… but don’t sign off dating forever….
I bet there is a whole load of people who would love to treat you right… and maybe
send you one of the lovely cards from this list.
Just joking!
Good Golly Miss Molly said: I’m married; my husband and I met in FFA
my junior year of high school.
He was a year ahead of me, and we actually didn’t start dating until after I graduated.
He’s amazing, and treats me like a queen . I’m one VERY lucky girl!!?
You are!
Hold on and keep loving!