Have you noticed how easy it is to be very complimentary and compassionate and
kind to everyone else except for this one? How to be more positive about your
body? Oh, not really. Well, if you only knew. Yeah, I don't think so. Do you see how our
self-talk gets in our way sometimes? We get compliments from someone. "Oh, you look
so cute." "Oh", right? And you don't accept it. Why? Because you're judging yourself. How
to be more positive about your body starts with an understanding of how
positivity works in the first place. And there are 2 processes going on that
are obvious but unnoticed. Obvious but unnoticed, right? Like the feeling of your
clothing. Can you feel it? Well, yeah. Now that I call it to your attention. But you
were totally ignoring it before I called it to your attention. There are processes
going on right here in our own mind that are completely obvious once they're
called to your attention. But completely unnoticed up until that point, right? And
the 2 that I want to bring to your attention today will help you to be more
positive about your own body. See that it's happening. Now, let's start with this
concept. Metacognition is a made-up word. We make up words in psychology all the
time. Metacognition. Break it down. Cognition
means thinking. Metacognition is a higher level. It's thinking about thinking. I
invite you to do that right now. Because when you're feeling bad about
your own body, you're not thinking about your thinking. You're thinking about your
body. And you're doing it in certain ways that will become obvious to you as you
turn on the metacognition for a few moments. We're not here to decide, is your
body good not? No. That's not where we're going. And
I'm not trying to tell you how to think. I don't have that kind of authority. I
just want you to see that you are. Turn on your metacognition. Think about
your thinking for a minute and notice this. We are constantly judging. Yes we
are. Constantly. You can't turn this off. Any more than you can turn off gravity
It's going to happen. Just notice it. You're constantly judging yourself.
Aren't you? Yeah. Your body, your looks, your hair, your
nails. You're constantly judging yourself. How smart you are, how cute you are,
how adequate you are, how competent you are. It's happening all the time. But it's
not just you. You're judging the people around you. Your boyfriend, your husband,
you're judging your co-workers, your boss, the people in your community, the people
in your church. You're judging me. It's alright. I'm judging you. I can't turn
it off either. So, we're constantly judging. Just notice that you are. How
does our mind judge something? The word that I choose to describe this process
is evaluation. Notice that evaluation and judgment are kind of the same thing. This
is a process that we're constantly doing in our mind and you can't turn it off. So,
you're not bad for doing this. You're human.
Welcome to earth. That's how we roll here. Notice that it's happening. The word
evaluation itself implies comparison with some standard. So, we pick some
standard and if we don't have a standard immediately available to us, we make one
up. And we've got a really great imagination. Have you noticed this? So we
take what it is. Think of your body now for just a few minutes. And you might be
thinking, "Oh, I don't want to. I'm so hideous or I'm so fat or whatever." Okay.
Whatever the stories are, that's a judgment.
That's an evaluation. You are the way you are. I know, that sounds profound, right? It
is what it is, you are the way you are. Right now, without changing anything. Is
that good or bad? I don't know. It just is what it is. But notice that you're making
a judgement about that aren't you? Yes you are.
Am I a tall man? Well, you might not know. I'm sitting here in front of you, right?
You have no idea how tall I am. Would it help if I showed you a full-length
picture of me? I think it might help. Can you see this? I'm standing next to Mark
Eaton. Mark used to play Center for the Utah
Jazz. He's 7 foot 4. In this picture, I barely make his shoulder. You
guys, I'm 6 foot 2. But at 7 foot 4, mark is a giant
next to me. I'm a pipsqueak next to him. Well, it doesn't mean that he's a giant
or I'm a pipsqueak. It means that we're comparing ourselves to something or
someone. And we come up with our judgment based on that comparison. Just notice
that you're doing it. So, if you have a judgement of yourself that you are ugly
or fat, really? Compared to who or what? Because I guarantee you that there are
people who are bigger, shorter, fatter, taller, smaller, skinnier, no matter what.
There's always people on both sides of the spectrum around you. For you to say
that you are whatever, implies a comparison. Just notice that you're doing
it. Question: Do you have to compare yourself the way that you have been
comparing yourself? No. You don't have to continue comparing
yourself the way that you have. Just notice that that's what you're doing. And
you got your reasons for preferring to do it that way. But notice what happens
to your feelings. When you compare yourself to an imagined standard of
something better or cuter or thinner or whatever than you are currently, how do
you feel about where you are? Not good. Notice that. What happens when you
compare where you are to something that's worse or less healthy or whatever
it is, right? And then you see that you're in a better place compared to that. How
do you feel? You feel better. Neither one is right or wrong. I just want you to
notice that you're doing it. Now, let's go to the second process. Creation. Where to
from here? How you doing next week? You don't know. You don't know. Now you've got
something to do with it. But you don't know how you're doing next week. So, all
of that is in your imagination. Check it out. When you imagine that what's coming
is worse than what you've already got, how do you feel? This is anxiety. When
we're worried or apprehensive or upset about what's coming. You don't know
what's coming. Get real about that. As opposed to, when we imagine that what's
coming is even better than what we've already got, how do we feel? Notice it.
Hope, eagerness, anticipation. You have the ability to choose your position. And that
sets you up for what you're going to create. Think about it. When you're
feeling inadequate, not good enough too this or too that or not enough this or
not enough that, whatever. When you're feeling that, how
likely you to go do something productive to improve your life? Not so
much. You're more likely to make a mess. Well, tune into that. What happens
alternatively when you see that you're in a good place? This is good. How likely
are you then to go do something productive? Oh yeah. A whole different
ballgame. I know that I've given this a quick overview here today. I've described
this whole process. Those 2 mental processes that are happening. Evaluation
and creation. I've described them in detail in this mini book. Portable
positivity. Isn't it cute? And it fits in your pocket, if you have a pocket. You
might have a purse, it's going to fit in there real easy too. I have taken you
step-by-step through this mini book to understand those two processes that we
were talking about. I even threw in a picture of me with Mark Eaton, okay? To
remind you about that comparison. If you would like a free copy of this, I'm going to
set you up with a digital copy for free. Because I want you to be able to track
this. It's in the description below. Go to that link. You can get a free copy of
this and that's going to help you to remember what we talked about in the
video. You've got this, okay? You can feel better about your body and everything
else is going on in your life. When you do some thinking about your own thinking
and choose on purpose to stay in that positivity place. This model is powerful.
And not just about body image. Get that mini book and you'll see how it applies
to every aspect of your life.