Hey there, this is Clay and today I'm answering a question from a reader about why your ex
dumped you, but then they start to get jealous of you and start to like try to deter you
from going out and dating other people and seeing other people.
And why does that happen?
I mean, they left you.
So why would they even care if you were moving on and seeing other people and all that stuff.
And the reason why this typically happens is because, your ex isn't really emotionally
distant, isn't really emotionally a recovered from the breakup yet themselves.
They still have strong emotions for you.
And, and in a certain part of their heart, they still in some way want to be with you
still want to have that door open to get back together with you.
Now, I'm not saying that they're necessarily trying to have their cake and eat it too,
and yes, that that may happen in some circumstances.
I'm not saying that's necessarily happening all the time, but that is something that can
happen in some circumstances.
So just be aware of that.
But, but when otherwise, you know, good natured person, breaks up with someone and then gets
jealous when that person starts to move on and date other people, you know, when they're
not trying to, you know, be controlling or have their cake and eat it too or anything
like that.
What's generally happening is that they themselves haven't gotten over the relationship and the
break up yet themselves.
And, like I said before, they still want that relationship to work in some small corner
of their heart.
I'm not saying it's like this big overwhelming thing that, that they really want because,
because if that was true, they would probably be trying to work things out with you.
That's not to say that, that the two of you can't come together again and find a way to
work things out.
But, but just at that moment where they're at right now, you know, number one, they broke
up with you for a reason.
So, you know, they're not in a relationship with you, but number two, they still kind
of want that relationship back.
So there's like tension between two things that they want, one getting back together
and the other one I'm moving on and, and living their separate lives.
So, so what do you do?
Well, if you do want to get back together, you want to continue to have good positive
interactions so you can pull them from, from, from the one extreme of, of, of breaking up
with you towards getting back together with you.
I spoke about this in a previous video on the, the emotional gray zone.
You should go check that out.
Or if you do want to move on, just, just really be clear with them that you know, hey, you
know, we're not in a relationship anymore.
And you can't any sort of commitment or devotion from me on my part.
So, I have to live my own life and for me right now that involves going out and meeting
and dating other people.
So, if you want to have a discussion about possibly getting back together to possibly
working that, we can do that.
But in the meantime, as long as you want space away from this relationship, to live your
own life, I need to be able to live my own life too.
And right now that is telling me to go out and date other people and that's what I recommend
you tell them.
So I hope this helps you out.
I hope this helps to explain things a little bit more for you.
If you'd like to learn more about how to save your relationship after a breakup, head on
over to relationshipinnergame.com and sign up there so that I can start sending you some
tips and advice on how to get back together with the person that you love and help you
through this breakup situation.
So, if that sounds like something you'd like, please head on over to our relationshipinnergame.com
and sign up.
Thanks.