so does anyone else feel like they completely like lost their sense of self this past year
and now they feel like they're having to like rebuild who they thought they were as a person
or is that just me why hello there if this is our first time chatting i'm melissa nice to meet you
today i wanted to talk about like the super fun topic of how i stopped hating myself and how i
gained like confidence it has been a long road i'm not a hundred percent there yet
are any of us really a hundred percent there yet let's be real but i have a history of all
sorts of fun little things uh a myriad of mental health issues eating disorders body dysmorphia
all the fun things that can make loving yourself occasionally feel more difficult not that those
things have to make it more difficult and not that you can't have difficulty if you don't have
those things but in my experience i feel like it would be a little easier if i didn't have to
you got me okay i'm gonna be breaking this video up into two separate parts so
self-love when it comes to like you inside of your
self-love when it comes to you as a person and then ex turn
self-love from a place of like body confidence i might as well start out with something that's
like super cliche but fake it till you make it i've always been a huge believer in this one
and i think it's overused for sure but confidence isn't something that you just like hit a certain
checkpoint and then all of the sudden you are like handed it it's something that everyone has
to create for themselves i think that there's something kind of magical that happens when you
walk into a room full of strangers and you just like exude confidence i think it puts everyone
a little bit at ease if you're confident in yourself to the point where you're able to
show who you are and express yourself in a way that's just really genuine it makes it gives
it gives everyone else like a permission slip to do the same and i don't think we have to worry
about waiting until we are perfectly confident to do that like what's what's stopping us
our insecurity that's what's stopping us also ego get rid of that [ __ ] there are a few things that
i have done to get rid of my ego not that i think i had like a massive ego or anything like not in
the way that people assume or maybe that's just coming from a place of ego interesting so here
are the steps that i have taken one of the first things is i started just embracing being bad at
things and i've talked about this in a few videos now like you can do things that you're bad at and
you can enjoy doing those things and it doesn't matter you don't have to do things just because
you think you'll be successful at it or you think you'll be good at it or whatever you
can do it just because you enjoy it and there's so much freedom in that and i have brought that
mindset into all of the other creative things that i do that i take more seriously another big part
of breaking down the ego is feeling like you're not entitled to anything so no matter how much
work you put into something whether it's like a project or a relationship even you're not entitled
to anything a huge thing that has also helped me is getting out of my head i am always in my head
about everything all the time so if i find myself getting in my head about something i do something
that makes me not focus on my brain because if you also deal with mental health issues you know
that focusing on your brain sometimes is not the greatest or most healthy thing for me like working
out going on walks reading watching tv shows there's so many different things that can just
like kind of divert my attention when you're focusing on other things and other people and
projects and stuff it does make it a little bit easier i feel like i'm just rambling but
i find a lot of freedom and just kind of knowing that i can like change at any point i like being
i don't know i like not staying the same it's like yeah you can change yourself externally
you can change yourself internally you don't have to just like live up to what people
are used to with you basically you're allowed to do what you want to do um
and that's it next is my favorite topic in the whole world body confidence i'm gonna
say something controversial here but i hate body positivity i love it for everyone else hate it for
myself because i'm not at that place yet but i'm also at this place where i no longer hate
the way i look i'm just content i guess you don't have to love yourself but you don't have to hate
yourself either i have just adopted the concept of like body neutrality my body is just a vessel for
me to do things i need to treat it right i need to feed it properly i need to take it for walks
i need to exercise it and something that truly helped me with my confidence was when i started
like working out lifting weights like the heavier i was lifting and the more i was working out
that was like the best i'd ever felt about myself and not because i like liked the way i look it
wasn't it had nothing to do with aesthetics really because it put me in this space of like my goals
for my body they weren't coming from like oh i have to look a certain way or i have to weigh
a certain amount it was more of like what am i capable of what can i do when i go to the gym
like how can i improve and i think that that is the healthiest possible thing don't take your
body for granted like i'm an able-bodied person so i can't really um speak on that too much but
yeah i want to hear your thoughts like let's all have a chat in the comments what have been
the steps that you've taken to at least try to feel more confident in yourself or at least like
stop behating yourself i feel like the first step is just be kind to yourself be a little
bit kinder to yourself don't give yourself such a hard time all the time um you don't
deserve that [ __ ] would you be as mean to your friends as you are to yourself if so
that's rude or maybe you're just really nice to yourself in which case yes be as mean to your be
as nice to your friends as you are to yourself yes perfect but yeah let me know kind of what
your thoughts on confidence are body positivity all those lovely lovely things because yeah it's
it's an interesting topic i think everyone kind of has to figure out their own way of finding self
acceptance this is just kind of how i've been doing it so
yeah it's a journey it's not a destination it's a journey
if you want to feel more confident hit the like button and subscribe if you want so you don't
have to but if you want you can it's always very much appreciated and i will see you next week