Okay so I intended for this to be a
simple video about Shane Dawson, but
It turned out to be wilder and crazier
Than I could have ever imagined. I don't even know where to begin
Oh! Jesus.
What are you doing here?
Oh, yeah.
You know what we're shooting.
Ohh, yeah.
Yeah.
That's right.
So
We had originally planned on making this video about something totally different. We were gonna make a video about freshwater dolphins. But--
(notification chime)
Oh my-- oh my god, this is crazy. I just got a text.
Oh wait, never mind. It's just my mom.
so
So we've all seen the videos that Shane Dawson has made where he documents other people's lives
but don't you think it's weird that no one has ever documented his?
Before we get too deep into this I do have to mention we could not get the rights to Shane Dawson's footage
So instead we'll be using dramatic reenactments using a professional actor to recreate footage from Shane's videos
So
What is it that makes Shane Dawson tick?
Is it possible that with all that he's done...
he could be a psychopath?
- Because that changes everything. - Could he be...
bipolar? - I just want to give you a chance to, like, tell your side of the story.
Could he have IBS?
And if so, what does that mean?
(echoing) It's from her.
Now, I should say that I have no
Professional experience to be throwing these theories around but as long as I pose it like a question
I could keep insinuating that he has any one of these traits and handpick examples to fit my narrative. Now,
What if he did have IBS-- irritable
bowel syndrome?
Well,
I've done five minutes of research and here's a clip of an expert talking about IBS
- IBS makes you poop... a lot. - Oh my god. It just hit me. Oh my god.
Think about all the jump cuts in his videos.
He rarely goes longer than five seconds before making another cut. If he had IBS
and had to poop a lot, maybe between every take...
He's pooping. Oh my god, I'm getting goose bumps. Make sure the music is really scary here.
*dramatic music*
Spooky
So, I feel like I don't know Shane Dawson well enough and that's why I'm going to talk with Courtney Miller
She does Shane Dawson reaction videos in her spare time
aw, dont hug her Shane, shes manipulTING YOU
AW NOOooo
Hey, Ian, I got this really weird rash yesterday after I high-fived you.
Oh, um...
uh, um, I'm sorry, sorry, not-- not right now. I actually have a more pressing issue.
Is it possible that Shane Dawson has IBS?
Well, my sister had IBS, and it really sucked. Like, she was going poop every five seconds.
- Oh my god. - Anyway, about my rash--
No, no, sorry. I'll have to talk to you later. (gasps)
Oh my god, did you hear that?
She went poop every five seconds. Shane Dawson puts cuts in almost every five seconds of this video. Oh my god
Look, I'm shaking. This is so spooky. Look at my hand. It's shaking.
We have to go straight to the source
We're gonna have to talk to Shane Dawson
(whispering) Oh my god, she's mad.
Well...
We did it
So in order to set up a meeting with Shane Dawson, I'm going to need to find his phone number
So here we go.
Oh-- oh my god, oh my god, okay. I just googled, "What is Shane Dawson's phone number?"
Nothing. I can't find it anywhere. It's almost like it doesn't exist.
I think this is some
kind of
Conspiracy
No, no, it's definitely a conspiracy. Okay. Oh my god. This is so scary
Make sure the music is really scary here
Okay, why does our camera make that noise whenever you zoom in and out?
Yes. Yes. God, it sounds like you're dragging a brick across concrete. Stop doing that. Can't you buy a better camera?
We were getting desperate to find any information we could on the whereabouts of Shane Dawson
Excuse me. Do you know where I could find Shane Dawson?
Sorry, do you know where Shane Dawson lives? Excuse me? Do you know Shane Dawson?
He makes videos about Jake Paul and TanaCon.
He's a youtuber.
Oh my...
(grumbles)
And that's when it hit me
He never actually showed up
to TanaCon. - I didn't end up going to TanaCon.
His phone number
didn't exist. I can't find it anywhere. And no one knew him outside of the internet.
Oh my-- (grumbles)
And that leads us to one conclusion, the only logical conclusion about Shane Dawson.
Shane Dawson doesn't just have IBS (irritable bowel syndrome)
Shane Dawson
doesn't
exist
Hold the drama!
I didn't ever think you were gonna do that! I knew
you were gonna open the door to "Hold the Drama." Ha!
So there you have it, guys. Be sure to come back for part 2 of my 58-part series.
Oh, also if you see somebody using jump cuts, be sure to go to their comments section and ask if they have IBS.
Goochie
Thank you for joining us on this journey inside the mind of Shane Dawson
IBS is no joke doctors recommend wearing diapers until you're over the age of 18 if you want to watch more awesome content
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