Vienna's district coats of arms aren't great.
We've determined that.
In the main video, we didn't really have time to go over their intricacies, good and bad,
one by one, though.
In this video, we do.
Doesn't mean I'm gonna describe the details of every single armorial element and interpret
the symbolic meaning of the red grasshopper in the second field from the left.
A quick critique for every individual coat of arms will fit in, though.
So, every district coat of arms of Vienna, ranked from best to worst.
Here we go:
First: Inner City Who'd'a thunk it?
The Inner City's coat of arms is by far the best Vienna has to offer.
In contrast to the other ones, it's properly old.
Not 20th century, we're talking Middle Ages.
While other coats of arms try hard to make some kind of historic connection, one that's
been in use for like 700 years has no problem with that.
About the form itself, there's not much to say.
White cross, red shield.
Works great from a distance and is recognized in Austria and beyond as the undisputed symbol
of Vienna.
Although it's old as heck, it hasn't been the official coat of arms of Vienna for all
that time.
For the longest time, the city's coat of arms was a black shield with a golden, sometimes
one-headed, sometimes two-headed, eagle borrowed from the Habsburgs.
The crossshield had its place on the eagle's breast for quite some time, but as a standalone
coat of arms, it's really only been in use for about 100 years, and not even that without
interruption.
So much for that.
Let's carry on, or we'll be here until tomorrow.
Second: Simmering And there we go with the shield splitting.
Doesn't help it legibility-wise.
But I just gotta point out how well balanced its colors and subjects are.
Using text is usually frowned upon, but in this case, the S makes quite a nice impression.
Especially in comparison to what still lies ahead.
The crossed fish are also pretty fun.
Usually its swords or keys that are crossed.
So, crossed fish: Very cool.
Third: Ottakring Yes, I know, I put a three-piece shield before
a halved one, but: Despite it being pretty well recognizable design- and color-wise,
two things are problematic: First, there's a shield within a shield on
the left, which is just an enormous waste of space.
Even more so when the shield wears a hat.
Probably derives from the heraldic usage of helmets or hats, which are often put above
shields.
But when the subject of a shield is a shield with a cross wearing a hat with a cross, that's
a bit ridiculous.
Second, the tree and the grass in the right part of the shield are much more detailed
the stuff in the other half, which means they just don't match.
Were both halves nice and simple, it would be a much better coat of arms.
Fourth: Bridgetsmeadow Two parts, both clear as can be, but the subjects
... the anchor looks not too shabby, but it would look way better taking up all the shield's
space.
Instead, it's banished to the upper half by five stars and a ... tongue?
Those are both symbols of St. John of Nepomuk ... which is fine ... but a tongue on a shield?
I dunno ...
Fifth: Countryroad Now we're getting into overdetailed territory.
The subjects, especially the strawberry and the jumping goats, are pretty nice, but there's
just too much stuff coming with it.
The grass doesn't need extra strokes to be recognizable, actually ... there doesn't need
to be grass on there at all.
Same for the bush between the goats, the two flowers and the leaves of the strawberry.
For St. Nicky on the left, they could've just used the top of his staff or his hat instead
of putting the whole dude in there.
That is, by the way, not the last time we'll be confronted with Christian imagery.
The district coats of arms are full to the brim with saints and crosses and all that
stuff.
In a time, when the church isn't anywhere near the level of importance it had centuries
ago, one might, maybe, question usage of those subjects.
Sixth: Leopoldtown Again split in three, again that godforsaken
lawn no one needs, again stars and tongue for John of Nepomuk.
He's on a few of these coats of arms because bridge saint, looking after you so you don't
drown.
Upper left, district name giver saint Leo, again unnecessarily depicted as a whole person
instead of just using his flag - five golden eagles on a blue ground.
Seventh: Weedn Now it's getting really bad.
This is all so small and fiddly that those willow leaves in the upper left appear more
black than green from all those borderstrokes.
The spire upper right also cries "make me simpler" and ... whatever's going on in the
bottom part, one can only guess.
Let me quickly take inventory: We have a well, two saints to the left and right of it, and
above the well, in a cloud, floats saint Leo with a church and his flag in either hand.
No further questions.
Eight: Lordsals Actually pretty simple, but the bottom right
is tragically drowning in details.
Even single blades of grass are visible, but of course the leaves of both trees are merging
with the blue background.
The trees generally look poorly.
Could use a bit of water.
The bunch of grapes on top, the way its pulled so wide, looks weird too.
I don't get out *that* often, but I know thats not what grapes look like.
And despite the widest bunch of grapes in history, there's still way too much space
wasted on the sides.
Ninth: Favorita Back to those many-piece shields again.
That alone isn't great, but at least all parts are nicely filled.
The fountain and the Maltese cross are really good subjects, actually, but the others again
have lots of details and then some more.
Especially with the structure in the center, every line's crammed in there without any
consideration for the whole.
That, in the upper left, saint John stands in front of the Inner City coat of arms doesn't
help either.
Tenth: Floridsvillage Again, too much stuff, again the extremely
important blades of grass, four trees, one of which is deciduous, extremely important,
then the thing on the left, where I *could* check online what it should be, but I'm just
gonna call it mother and child in a golden blanket bound with shackles, that's normal,
sure, and then we also have two letters, which completes this work of overstuffedness.
Eleventh: Newbuild The centershield pretty cool, even if a bit
overdetailed - a moon doesn't *need* a face - but meaningwise pretty problematic nowadays.
Cause, cross over crescent ... pretty clearly expresses christian superiority over islam,
which is historically understandable, since Vienna survived two sieges by the Ottomans,
but in present day, that's pretty hard on the nose.
Especially when about 15% of Vienna's population is muslim.
Other than that: Upper left, there's again the crossshield of the Inner City in a slightly
different design, plus 4 birdies, one of 'em terribly cut off by the center shield, and
on the upper right, saint Nicky holding a fish, which doesn't look great, but is pretty
funny.
Twelfth: Pentsing In the centershield two letters, so big fat
minus there, upper right, note the extremely detailed roof tiles, lower left, saint Mary
with the bebe-Jesus, lower right a tree with a fence before it.
Backyard or something.
Big problem here are the completely different levels of detail of the parts.
Center, the imperial orb - that's the sphere with the cross on it - is fairly simple, but
the blades of grass and those pesky roof tiles are done with extreme precision, which just
doesn't work.
Thirteenth: Josephtown Upper left, you might have noticed we've already
had that one, and right you are.
Newbuild has the same subject, as they both share Larkfield.
In the center, namegiver saint Joe with bebe-Jesus and a mutated bouquet, lower right strikingly
simple: Austria's classic red-white-red shield.
If only they were always so clear.
Of course there are also some overly detailed blades of grass and what's also quite funny:
The lady on the lower left, floating on a cloud, holds an imperial orb bigger than her
head.
Fourteenth: Alsground In the centershield, another repetition: The
magpie is also used in Josephtown.
But lots of other action going on as well.
Upper center, there's a sheep that's either joining the crusades or volunteering at the
Red Cross, right next to it, another sheep, next to a provacatively dressed young lad,
on his staff a banner with text because there's no other way to express things in a coat of
arms.
Lower right we have four trees, cause one is too few, lower center, there's Leopoldstown's
sacred stag again, and lower left the apocalypse.
Fifteenth: Maryhelp Goes straight for the metalevel, because in
the center, shield within a shield, in which there's a ship with a flag with an eagle,
with a shield on its breast.
Can't go much more convoluted.
That the dude is the same height as the ship doesn't even matter.
Upper right, there's saint Nicky once more, district coat of arms regular, lower right
there's the really nice shield of Gumpvillage with three lilies in gold and black, but one's
*again* cut off by the centershield.
The two parts on the left also manage the feat of repeating the same subject - adult-Jesus
on the cross - right next to one another.
Generally, it seems no one really cared too much about repeating the same stuff over and
over.
Sixteenth: Margarets Center, there's saint Maggie on a dragon - which
is not the last dragon we'll be seeing, believe you me - upper left saint Nicky *again*, upper
right a Roman soldier and ... looks like he's pouring a bucket of milk over saint Maggie's
head, bottom and lower right are pretty nice and clear, as should be, *but* lower left
we've got an extremely fiddly drawn castle and a unicorn rushing from it.
For anyone keeping count, that's unicorn number 2.
Seventeenth: Danubetown Catches your eye with its incredible mediocrity.
Nothing terrible, nothing good.
Most interesting is probably the wing center right, even if the chess squares right through
it are a bit much.
The tree on top isn't just boring, it's also seemingly drawn every single bough at a time,
upper left those bonsai trees on a green background are a mystery to me, as is the thing center
left on top of saint Nicky's staff.
Eighteenth: Waring Again, pretty mediocre.
Ranking so badly because of the bottom part.
Two dudes carrying a gargantuan bunch of grapes.
The thing's big enough to crush you, for god's sake.
Even worse, the centershield is placed in a way that makes it seem like it stands on
top of the wooden bars.
Other than that, there are two saints with the same veggies in hand, and once again,
adult-Jesus H Christ on the big t.
Nineteenth: Mydling Hurts my heart to pull the lovely coat of
arms of Rushvillage into that - black cross, white ground - but what can you do?
The raven, the wheel, moon and star are okay, but the center ... we have some latin text
- again there's writing instead of drawing - and the separation line of the centershield
does not line up with the one of the outer shield, making the whole thing look like it
slipped a little.
Why it's like that I do not know.
On top of that, the centershield covers part of the black cross, but in such an awkward
way, that there's a small white field left over.
Twentieth: Doebling Already discussed in the main video ... overstuffed
to the max, confusing, intricate.
Only thing worth noting - apart from the omnipresent saint Nicky in the lower left - is that there's
repetition once again.
Both in the upper left and lower center there's a dragon gettin beat up.
But wait, one more thing.
Both in the center and the lower right, there are grapes.
What a masterpiece.
What more is there to come?
Twentyfirst: Leesing Recordholder, most subjects.
10 in total.
Beside that, lower right the miniature trees and the extremely intricately drawn castle
including windows, although you can't really make out much anymore, centershield they felt
it wise to add numbers to, just because, but the absolute pinnacle, center left, district
part Sevenshepards.
Seven ... shepards.
*sigh*
Twentysecond: Heetsing Generally kinda okay.
Those hatchets in the upper left are fine, the sacred stag bottom right's also back again,
upper right there's saint chilling in the nice thermal water, and bottom left a stork
ripping itself to shreds to feed the children.
Everything normal.
But what on Earth is happening in the center?
Don't know what to say there.
Artistic license and such, yeah sure, but an apparation in a tree while a few dudes
just stand around ... that's too much.
And just like that we arrive at the worst district coat of arms of Vienna, as officially
determined by yours truly: Twentythird: Rudolphshome-Fivehouse
And there's one reason for that.
Subjectwise it's not that bad.
Not great, but everything is recognizable, not too crazily detailed.
However, it seems no one actually thought too much about how to place all the subjects
on the shield, in a way that makes any kind of sense.
With other overstuffed coats of arms, there's at least an attempt to place subjects in a
way to use all of the available real estate.
Here, it's like no one actually even tried.
That stag, which they didn't wanna scrap, but also didn't place in a spot of the shield
that actually worked, just stands around, completely lost in that white expanse.
So much indifference towards one's creation undoubtedly deserves the last place.
And there's your 23 district coats of arms.
That's it.
Goodbye.