But 32 symbolizes the end of that era.
And one thing I don't like doing at 32...
I don't like showing my ID to get into bars.
'Cause I feel like...
you could tell that I'm not 20.
There's easier ways than showing ID.
I feel like, if you speak to me and I speak back, I think you get it.
"Hey, what's up? How's it going?" "I'm good, how are you?"
-"All right, come in." -[audience laughing]
"Wait a second, did you check his ID?" "No, I just spoke to him for two seconds.
Saved everybody some time."
I don't like showing my ID.
"ID, please?" "You want ID?
How about you look into my eyes?
Do I look like I have the soul of a 20-year-old at all?
You see all this bitterness and shit in my eyes?"
"ID, please?" "You want ID?
How about you look at my body?
Do I look like I have the metabolism of a 20-year-old at all?
I don't have a metabolism anymore. Everything just stays."
[audience applauding]
Also...
there's certain situations where I don't wanna show ID.
Certain situations.
One time, me and some friends had a layover at Minneapolis Airport.
It's about 11:00 in the morning on a Sunday.
And we ordered some breakfast.
And I say, "Hey, let's get some Bloody Marys for the table."
And the waitress says, "Oh, Bloody Marys? ID, please?"
"Oh, you need ID?
You want ID 'cause that's what the kids are getting into these days?
Who knew these kids were coming to the airport
and getting fucked up on Bloody Marys and mimosas?
These teenagers are out of control with their raging airport brunches.
'Cause that's definitely...
That's what I was doing when I was growing up in Chicago.
Me and my buddies, every Sunday, we would go to O'Hare Airport.
We would buy the cheapest one-way plane ticket we could find,
and we would drink mimosas and Bloody Marys,
stuffing our faces with frittatas.
Oh, those crazy brunches! Oh, man!
We would just talk about whatever. Girls and sports and our teachers!
Oh, do I miss those days!
Oh, my high school brunch crew! Oh, do I miss them!
Oh, to be a boy again!
Here's my ID, lady. Let's keep it moving."
Last summer, in the middle of a tour, I lost my ID.
Which sucked.
But what I found is that you can fly domestically without ID.
Which makes sense.
It'd be weird if you showed up to the airport and they said,
"Oh, sorry, you don't have ID? Oh...
I hate to tell you, but...
I guess you live in Dallas now.
[audience laughing]
I think you need to start a new life here in Dallas,
and work hard until you get a new ID.
And then you could use that ID to fly back to your old life and get your old ID."
No, you can fly without ID.
TSA treats you like you lost your ID just to disturb their day, though.
They treat you horribly if you forgot your ID.
They give you a thorough, full-body pat down if you don't have your ID,
as if you might've just lost it in your own asshole on accident.
They search your bag,
they give your bag a thorough search if you don't have your ID,
as if that'll be the time to commit a terrorist act. [chuckles]
"Yeah, I don't have my ID,
but this plane needs to go down no matter what.
I had a goal, I need to follow through, that's what Tony Robbins told me.
I gotta follow through with my goals.
If I don't follow through with this goal,
then that pattern of behavior is gonna spill over to other aspects of my life.
I can't have that happening."