- You bitch!
- A female dog?
The thing that makes puppies?
Nice compliment, Xan.
(upbeat music)
Why do you keep playing the same song over and over?
- These are all different.
Can you not tell house from electronicon?
- No.
Can you at least play music that has words in it?
♪ I beat that bitch with a bat ♪
- I can't fix America.
(upbeat music)
- Kelly.
- Yorkie.
- Yurgie?
- Yorkie.
- Like the dog breed?
- (giggles) Yeah.
(upbeat music)
- We're an Arizona dirt bag,
a human turtleneck, a narcissistic monster,
and literally the dumbest person I've ever met.
- And who am I?
Describe me now.
(upbeat music)
- What is this place?
- It's just a place.
You know, an area, or a location.
It's pretty straightforward.
- The Museum of Human Misery?
- Oh, yeah, okay, it's a torture museum.
Famous examples of bad behavior
and explanations of the torture they earned.
- Is there a gift shop?
- Jason, this is hell.
Of course there's a gift shop.
(upbeat music)
- Son of a bitch!
- I can't believe this is happening.
- Breathe.
Breathe.
In two, three.
- Take your fucking hands off my sternum.
- Please.
(upbeat music)
- He's not gonna give us a loan,
because he thinks we're too old.
- Too old?
I was blasting Drake all the way here.
- You know what this is?
Ageist.
Ageist bullshit!
(upbeat music)
(speaking in Japanese)
(upbeat music)
(speaking in Japanese)
(upbeat music)
- There's a, there's a leak in the ceiling,
there's a brown disgusting drip coming.
- Oh! - Look at the...
Look at...
Oh my God.
- I can't do this.
- This place is a dump,
it's a dump. - I tried.
- You know what?
It's a hell hole.
(upbeat music)
- David, what is this?
- It looks like a bike.
- Is it yours?
- Yes, yes it is.
- David, what is this doing here?
- You might wanna read the note.
- Was it from Mutt?
David...
No, no.
- I feel like he really gets you.
(upbeat music)
- Oh yay, David, yay.
(upbeat music)
- [All] Hi!
- How's it going, Miss Tammye?
- Oh my God!
- I wanna introduce you to the Fabulous Five.
- Oh my God.
- [Gene] This is Miss Tammye, y'all.
- You guys are fabulous!
(upbeat music)
- You just upped the population
of gay men in gay Georgia.
- By five. - By 500%.
- I know, like, it is up by 500%.
You thought you were alone here?
- Yes, we're about to open up a club, honey.
(upbeat music)
- Julia thinks that I should put myself out there
and find someone to have sex with.
(Casey chuckles)
Well, she didn't say the sex part,
I added that.
(upbeat music)
I should never go on another date.
I should just stay away from girls.
- Sam, look, you've got some stuff to figure out,
but you will.
You're a good guy.
You're sensitive and you're funny and
the woman who ends up with you will be lucky.
(upbeat music)
- Pink means pregnant.
- But I've never had sex!
- (gasps) Immaculata.
You are immaculata!
- What?
No, mom.
- Clearly, she's not a virgin.
- Of course I am.
That's a mistake. - That's not a mistake.
- Or it's a hormonal thing.
- Exactly, pregnancy hormones.
- What?
- I understand that this is unplanned.
- Hi, hello, this is Jane Villanueva.
I need to talk to Dr. Alver,
because I have a crazy doctor saying that I'm pregnant.
(upbeat music)
- Oh, sorry.
(all chattering)
- You know what?
I'm gonna have to ask some of you to leave.
- Oh, no, no, I can't leave.
(all speaking)
- Stop, stop, stop.
Who are the parents?
- I'm the father.
- Just carrying the baby, so I should probably stay.
- I'm the mother, technically.
- He's my fiance. - I'm the fiance.
- Okay, you know what?
I'm gonna go on biology.
So you and you.
Everyone else, out.
(upbeat music)
- I'm worried about you, man.
Look around.
Everybody's either thinking about shagging,
about to shag,
or actually shagging.
And you can't even jack your beanstalk.
- I've got plenty of time.
- I don't know, man.
(upbeat music)
- It's my vagina.
- Sit down.
- No!
That is my vagina in the photo.
- Sit down.
- No, it's my vagina.
- Now, thank you Maeve, settle down please.
- You're both wrong.
It's my vagina.
- It...
It cannot be all your vaginas.
- I also have a vagina.
- Well, congratulations.
Please sit down.
- It's my vagina. - Don't--
- [Student] It's my vagina.
- Enough, thank--
- [Student] It's my vagina.
- It's my vagina. - Thank you,
I understand what you are all trying--
- It is my vagina.
- You don't have a vagina.
You do not have a vagina
in the same way that I do not have a vagina.
- It's my vagina. - Please, would you all
just sit down?
It is required that you--
- It's my vagina.
- Just sit down.
Vaginas, bloody vaginas!
(upbeat music)
- It's my vagina.
(upbeat music)