as I walk through Chernobyl
you can see
the wild has started to reclaim the land
I have painted you
an image of the world
in the next 50 years
we can still save this planet,
and imagine that
cut
thankyou David
you know honestly
I feel like a broken record
they're not going to listen
If i said what I wanted to say
it would be something more like
I'd say like
just get your shit together
there’s so many things you could do
For one
Stop watching me and getting all emotional
like you’re going to do something
and then forget about it
40 seconds after the credits
Do something
do anything
Stop telling everyone that you’re vegan
then secretly honking down
a bratwurst on a flight to the maldives
Why is a teenager
the only one who seems remotely bothered
Like if this girl can lead
the fight against extinction
while doing her A levels
The least you can do
is stop lathering yourself up in Palm oil
And we can all stop recycling because the
government just ships it to
Indonesian landfill anyway
Oh and my god Stop Electing this
utter f****g ***** **** ** ******** ****.
I’ve got more class under my fingernails
Honestly Jesus ****** Christ
I cannot stress that enough people
and this guy
mother F****r
Hans, hans, I’m trying to make a serious point
can you just bring it down a little bit thankyou
I don’t necessarily agree with the dreadlocks
but at least these people are trying
and honestly humanity
can you stop for a second popping out brats for
five seconds
not only are your kids ruining
the planet
they are also
VERY annoying.
Sorry Brats
tonight’s not your night mate
Earth is full
Seriously I’ve just watched Avengers
and I’m starting to think Thanos
the big purple one
like initially I was thinking
that’s not really on
but now i’m just like you know what
he might have had the right idea
Do you know how many years
it took to build this planet
like 5 billion
and you’ve
just scoffed it in under a century
like some greedy
mad parasite
like I don’t come to your
dinner party
that you’ve worked on all afternoon
and just scoop up
your carefully arranged dauphinouse potatoes
and just shove em down the toilet do I?
No I sit there and l listen to your boring
anecdotes about the equity of your house
and I smile through gritted teeth
If you drive one of these
you’re a twat
Not even related to the environment
you’re just the worst
And instagram influencers my goodness
stop trampling precious ecosystems
so you can feed
your narcissism and sell herbalife
to your equally vacuous followers
Ooh sponsored by Manscaped
if you want that baby smooth chin look
look no further than the surface
of the amazon rainforest
Sorry not sorry
this is Dave signing out
because to be honest with you
I’ve had it up to here with you