Hi everybody.
Hello to you.
Well, it's Wednesday.
I think.
Is that right?
Nobody knows.
But the important thing is, it's still April.
No?
March?
I'm being told it's May.
Today is a is a day that is a special day.
It's National Numeracy Day.
Don't know if you knew that, but it is.
It's the day that we recognize the importance
that numbers play in our lives.
I don't know why they picked today to celebrate.
I'm guessing someone got drunk on Cinco de Mayo and yelled,
let's keep this party going!
Next week, numbers!
So it's-- anyway.
But I started thinking about it.
And numbers really are everywhere.
Imagine a world without numbers.
Total chaos.
People would be sent home from work.
They'd have to quarantine.
Cities would be shut down.
Restaurants and schools would close.
Can't imagine what that would be like.
So right now, I'm going to give you the 4-1-1 on the 1 2 3.
Let's start with the number 1.
It's the first number, unless you
count zero, which you can't, because it's nothing.
Unless you're patient zero.
Then I understand that is a bat.
But this isn't about zero.
It's about 1.
Everybody wants to be number one.
Number one on the charts, number one best seller,
number one to get toilet paper at the grocery store.
But number one can also be a bad thing.
According to Three Dog Night, one is the loneliest number.
And if you don't want to be a one hit wonder or a one
off or something like that.
So if there's one thing you can say about number one
is that it's complicated.
Brings me to my next number, which is 3.
So many wonderful things come in threes.
The Jonas Brothers.
Can't think of any others.
That's it.
Now hold on, hold on.
The Three Amigos.
And then there's the blind mice, little pigs, French hens.
I'm on a roll.
There are three wise men, musketeers, stooges, nipples,
if you're Andy.
Do you have three nipples?
Somebody-- somebody on the show did.
Remember?
Some like, hunk.
Like, it was like Zac Efron or some hunky guy like that.
Yeah.
Proud to talk about his third nipple.
Well that's a real man.
The last number I want to talk about is 7.
Because that's how many margaritas I've had today.
Yeah.
They think you're joking.
To a lot of people, 7 is a very powerful number.
There are seven days in a week, seven continents, seven colors
in the rainbow, seven's lucky, seven prime,
seven opened a store with 11.
What can't she do?
I'll tell you.
Seven can't respect other numbers.
Do you remember why six were scared of seven?
Because seven, eight, nine.
Wow.
Thank you tWitch.
Wow.
Thank you.
Good stuff.
Thank you.
Strong.
Strong material today.
That's good number humor right there.
Hey hey.
You know, if I went around eating my numbers,
my neighbors--
never mind.
Never mind.
The joke--
Try again.
No, no.
The joke wasn't even that strong.
I can't follow seven, eight, nine with a weak joke.
OK.
That's fair.
Let's review.
The number 1 is both good and bad.
Lots of things come in 3s.
Number 7 is a cannibal.
Last but not least, please, for the love of God,
stay six feet away from each other.
Happy Numeracy Day everyone.
Happy numeracy, Ellen.
Here's my number numeracy for you too.
Here's my number one deejay.
He's not even a deejay.
Why are we still calling him a deejay?
What's--
He trying to get work at weddings on the weekend.
I see.
Why do we still call you a DJ?
tWitch?
I have no-- I have no idea.
Yeah.
I don't know.
But--
It's got to-- let's stop it today.
Let's just call you tWitch.
OK.
And what is your favorite number, tWitch?
And why?
Do you have one?
Yeah I do, actually.
My favorite number is seven.
Because there are seven letters in my first name
and I just think seven is just, it's
been super symbolic for me.
So I love it.
Oh.
Yeah.
OK.
That's good.
Yeah,yeah.
Good.
Yeah.
All right.
Andy, do you have a favorite number?
I'm still counting the letters in tWitch's name
to make sure he's right.
I like 18.
18 is a lucky number for us Jews.
And it's the number I always wear when I play hockey.
So 18.
OK.
Good.
All right.
I'm going to play a numbers game with you right now, Andy.
Of course you are.
All right.
You're stuck outside.
I am.
And for reasons, important reasons.
Isolation.
So you can't be near me.
So, here's what I'm going to do.
We're going to play a game call Guess The Temperature.
Very funny, Ellen.
All right.
What is going to happen now is, you are
going to guess the temperature.
And I am going to tell you if you're right or wrong.
And then the game ends.
The temperature right now--
I'm a bit in the shade.
OK.
I'm going to say the temperature right now,
74 degrees Fahrenheit.
Fahrenheit?
Yeah.
tWitch, you're not here.
But do you want to guess the temperature that it is up here?
Yeah.
I'm going to say--
I'm going to say 76.
All right.
Who's right?
Well he's closer.
It's 81 degrees.
Wow.
I know.
It doesn't-- it doesn't feel like it.
There's a little breeze.
Maybe that's what's cooling me down.
With the wind chill, I'd be right.
Sure.
OK.
That's how you play Guess The Temperature.
Tune in tomorrow when we play, Identify That Snake.
All right.
OK.
Now I'm getting texts.
Let's see who this is.
It's Oprah.