- Wow.
That's much better than what you usually throw on the table.
Hello and welcome to a very special edition of Mystery Tech,
featuring money, because yes,
I actually get to buy my own things this time.
Thanks, Ken.
The rules are very simple.
I have a $200 budget to order things
from a little site called Wish.
Now, a little stipulation
is I have to use this blitz-buy thing,
so as soon as I hit this button,
a 10-minute timer will start.
How many items to I get?
20, okay.
All right, I've unlocked 20 products.
Let's see what we got.
Well, the first thing is the, what is this, a smartwatch?
I mean, that seems reasonable.
This actually looks good, right?
- [Matt] You need that.
- All right.
What the, what are these sneakers?
Yo.
- [Matt] Get some sneakers.
- Some red fashion sneakers?
Yeah, yeah, I'm about that.
There's an 11 inch 4G network Android large-screen tablet
for $75.
I'm gettin' red because why not.
Oh God, I've already spent $145.
Oh.
Man, I feel like I've already got everything cool.
- [Ken] Well, now you're forced to buy
things that are not cool.
Welcome to Mystery Tech.
- What if I just cheat and go into normal Wish
and look for other stuff that's cool?
All right, I'm just gonna cheat.
Oh, a 4GB free classic games thing?
Yeah, yeah, okay.
All right.
Oh what the, oh it's a Vita.
Oh wait, no I want this one.
Oh look, a Game Boy.
Yo, I wanna Game Boy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, hook me up.
$14?
Look, you can buy fake money.
There's 100 $100 bills for $1.
I mean, let's be real,
this stuff all looks basically like hot garbage.
Ooh, hello.
We could get a Huawei SD card,
apparently 256GB for $3.
I don't see how we can go wrong here.
- [Ken] Get definitely two of those.
- Ah, it's a corset for a guy, aight.
Aight.
Yo, fake Joy-Cons?
Dude, these Joy-Cons are like double the size.
I am absolute buying them.
Wait, for Wii U, for Switch,
or for Switch Precision Edition?
- [Ken] What's a Switch Precision Edition?
- [Austin] I dunno, I guess we're about to find out.
It's $33.
There's also fake Pro controller, should we do that?
- [Ken] Yeah, yes.
- Mean, it looks kinda like it.
So that, my friends, is everything we need from Wish.
So I guess now we're just gonna have wait, like,
three months for this stuff to show up
and see if it's any good.
I don't think it will be, though.
(weird ululating)
- [Matt] Three months later.
- Okay, so it has been a couple months
and we finally have all of our Wish items
as well as a much less full-featured facial hair.
So let's see what garbage town we have to deal with.
It's been so long I've actually forgotten
what we ordered, at this point.
Oh yeah, this stupid thing.
Oh, it came with an adapter?
Aight.
So this is our Huawei 256GB microSD card,
which cost like, how much was it?
- [Ken] $5.75.
- Oh yeah.
So less than $6.
Now, I'm incredibly suspicious
that this is actually a 256GB card.
It is almost certainly not a Huawei microSD card either,
judging by the generic memory card box.
Some of the listed capacity
is used for formatting and other functions
and is not available for storage.
Something tells me that by some
is going to be like, 240 of the 256GB.
I believe Linus did a video
showing how some of the SD cards
that seem to have a lot of capacity
are actually fake and instead,
when you start to fill them up,
they delete old files.
So I'm going to try to transfer a bunch of footage over
and see if it actually will work.
So I pull up properties, it shows as a 249GB drive.
I mean, that actually would be technically correct.
That's strange.
Is this actually real?
Dude, it's at 65KB a second right now.
I don't think I have the patience for this.
Pssh.
That had way more bounce than I thought.
Oh, it's the stupid fake Joy-Cons.
You know that Wish sponsors the Lakers?
Literally the only logo on Lakers jerseys is Wish.
I mean, at first glance you might be forgiven
for thinking that these are real Joy-Cons,
but they feel like they're almost twice as big.
Lemme grab a real set of Joy-Cons.
So for comparison, this is what a legit Joy-Con looks like.
Now, it's roughly the same sorta shape,
although on the back,
you can see that there's a little bit of a ridge,
but it's just way bigger.
Like, way bigger.
(laughs)
My Switch is now just like, an inch wider.
(laughs)
Oh, it worked.
Ayyy, look at that.
It shows up as two actual, real Joy-Cons.
So if I attach these,
it actually will not charge them, though,
so I can use it as like a normal, wired Joy-Con,
but it's still actually connected via Bluetooth.
So it will drain the battery like this.
Dude, this is actually really not that bad.
I mean, the buttons don't feel quite as nice
and I wish they actually would charge,
but like, I mean like, I'm not doing very well here, but.
Now, I will say one thing, the fact that they have
this little lip on the outside,
which, even though they're bigger,
they actually kinda fit better in my hands
The standard Joy-Cons, they're fine,
but I kinda feel like I have a little bit
of a claw grip sometimes,
whereas this feels a little bit better,
I'm not gonna lie.
It still feels cheap, but not bad.
Aha.
So the next part, which is probably a little less weird,
is these Nintendo Switch Pro controller,
or the Pro controller for N Switch,
because obviously it's not a Nintendo product.
I mean, at first glance this looks exactly
like a standard Pro controller.
This looks straight up like they just used
the original mold for this.
It literally, on the back, says support.nintendo.com.
I think they actually took a legit mold
of the real Pro controller
and just removed the word Nintendo here,
'cause that's exactly where Nintendo would be.
It says, support Germany for Nintendo.
I mean, this is just a Pro controller.
(laughs)
The buttons feel the same, the sticks feel the same.
Actually, hang on a second.
Can I change my smart steering?
Okay.
Dude, it even has the gyroscope.
If you feel a little bit uncomfortable
buying something which is very, very obviously a knockoff,
I totally understand why you wouldn't wanna get this,
but this is, as far as I can tell,
straight-up a Pro controller.
Now, maybe it'll break at some point,
maybe there's a train outside
that's gonna sort of step on my line,
but like, this is legit just a Pro controller
that someone just stripped off the Nintendo badge
and is selling it for like, half the price.
Oh, god.
The fake money.
Okay, does this look real on camera right now?
'Cause this is about the fakest thing I've ever seen.
It's mostly just incredibly blurry.
Like, it looks like if you printed this yourself
on a printer from 1999,
that's what it looks like.
For fake money, it doesn't say fake money anywhere.
There's no like, for prop, comedy use only or anything,
there's literally just a little bit
of Chinese writing on the back
and that's it.
This actually looks like it's probably illegal.
Wait, is this illegal?
I think this is, oh.
These things bounce so weirdly, right?
All right, we'll just put my fake money out of the way.
I will say one thing, this is very, very well packaged.
Oh, it's the fake iPad, excellent.
Oh wait, no it's not an iPad, is it?
It kinda looks like one from the front.
Actually, well, it looks like one from all angles.
I mean, not gonna lie.
This is like, not the worst fake iPad I've ever seen.
I mean, they've kinda got like the little notch here.
That actually does seem to be real metal.
That screen does not look good, though
And this is definitely a fake button.
That doesn't do anything.
I dunno, I think if you show this to Grandma,
she'd probably think you had an iPad
and not a $52 tablet that's garbage-town, that's dead also.
I'm not gonna lie,
so far we've actually been doing pretty well.
There have definitely been some busts,
but things like the Switch controller seems cool,
the iPad, if it actually wants to turn on,
seems maybe okay.
Maybe.
Oh, all right.
In case you're curious, this is not an actual iPad.
- [Ken] Is that a headphone jack in the side?
- Oh yeah, (laughs), the headphone jack is on the side.
All right.
Android 8.1?
What?
Really?
That's actually not that bad.
Is this actually gonna be decent?
Like, I really did not think this was gonna be good,
but like, it actually doesn't seem like the worst thing
I've ever tried, especially for $50.
Although I guess, for $50,
you could get like, a Fire tablet.
Whoa, hey.
Update on this guy.
It has now magically jumped up to 19MB per second
on the transfer.
We're actually, is it working
or did it just like, fail over into the fake version
where it's deleting my old files?
Now I'm suddenly getting a little bit uncomfortable
with the idea that I just plugged a random microSD card
into my computer.
Maybe I shouldn't have done that.
That coulda been a really bad idea, actually.
- [Ken] I mean, it's a Huawei one, so what's the--
- (laughs)
- [Ken] What's the harm in that?
- That frame rate is really not good.
But 480p, come on man?
Is that the best you can do in 480p?
That ain't it.
So not great for video.
It sounds bad and it runs videos
at like, 12 frames per second.
Uh, maybe just buy a Fire HD 7, or anything else.
I bet you could get a used iPad for about this price.
- [Ken] Oh yeah, you probably can.
- Oh.
That looks much less terrible.
So this is our fake PSP.
So there are a lot of these kinda like, fake systems around,
but I've actually never really tried any of them, really.
Oh dude, it's like, supposed to be a mini Vita.
It even has all, like, the little triangles and stuff
on the back.
Whoa.
It's very exciting when you launch it.
Wait, is this just a bunch of ROMs?
I have Super Mario, Contra, Street Fighter, Crash Bandicoot.
Wait.
Is this thing legit just, like, an emulator?
Yo, dude, it's actually Super Mario.
Okay, this emulation's, uh, oh my god. (laughs)
Dude.
It's like a half-second delay when I press something.
I mean, this is legit, though!
Wait, wait, wait.
I'm tryin' to play Mario right now,
what are you doin', throwin' a Game Boy at me?
Wait.
Hold on.
I'm enjoying Mario, man.
What?
Wait, wait, dude, this is not bad.
I mean, it's still weird,
but I can't believe this is not hot garbage, man.
What?
Wait.
Wait, dude, this is not bad.
I mean, it's still weird, but.
Oh wait, what buttons do I actually have on the Game Boy?
Just A and B, right? (laughs)
Stay back.
Stay back. (laughs)
(laughs)
It's so mushy!
Come on!
Yes!
Also, I just pulled my mic off.
I wanna keep playing with this.
But wait, hang on, what's 401 Game Boy thing?
Ooh.
You know what?
Yo, that's actually not bad.
All right.
401.
So we have Super Mario, this thing's just loaded with ROMs.
It's just loaded with ROMs.
What is this?!
Pikachu.
What is that?!
Wait, what?
Wait, is this just,
- (laughs) - is this Dr. Mario?
I mean, it's like Tetris, but wasn't it,
I never played Dr. Mario,
but wasn't it kinda similar to this?
- [Ken] Yeah.
- All right, there's definitely a lot of doubles in here.
Like, they're primarily doubles.
Why am I small?
Do you see this?
I'm too, dude, I'm too small to jump!
(laughs)
How do you mess up Mario, man?
What the actual, what is this?
- [Ken] What?
What?!
(laughs hysterically)
Oh, now you gotta play it.
- Mario has throwing stars?!
Also, it runs like eight frames per second.
Yikes.
Oh my God, dude, what is this? (laughing)
What is this?!
All right, why is my screen flickering?
Wait, I think I lost my screen brightness.
Can you see that flickering?
I think I just lost my backlight.
We got, like, five minutes out of Super Mario 14
before it was lost to the sands of time.
Look, look, look how bad it is now! (laughs)
My screen's dead!
All that's really left to do now
is to see if this sketchballs microSD card actually worked.
So I come over to USB drive.
I mean, this actually looks like it might have transferred?
I just literally copied over Fortnite.
33GB.
I mean, this works.
It definitely works.
I dunno if it'll actually fill up, and it's kinda slow,
but the microSD card is decent.
Sadly, the Game Boy had the most promise
and died after like three minutes.
I mean, who knows?
The Legend of Mario 14 may never be fully discovered.
(laughs)