Hi, Ellen.
Hello, my friend.
How are you good?
I can't believe I've been doing this this long with you.
It's a pinch me moment every time I come.
No.
It is true.
I mean, think about it.
My time in Hollywood started so long ago.
And to know that I get to come to your show
now, and for the last almost 11 years, is pretty amazing.
Thank you for having me.
Thank you for being here.
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
You can just walk over.
Yeah.
So I pass your house every Thursday.
I go that way.
I know.
I've got a spike strip for you.
I'm going to get you one of these days.
I'll get in there somehow.
So the last time, we were shooting this hidden camera
thing with Michael Bublé.
And he was supposed to be the checkout guy.
And you were in line checking out at that counter.
And you recognized him, so you thought we were punking you.
Well, I shop at this place.
And when we walked in, my girlfriend Lindsay was like,
I'm pretty sure that's Michael Bublé.
And I'm like, what?
I mean, I knew something was off.
And then when we got up there, I was just like, well,
I don't know what to do here, because I don't
want to ruin Ellen's thing.
But I know this is Ellen.
I know her cameras are around here.
I'm like, I know this is-- something's awry.
And then I go--
three weeks after that, I go to another grocery store
in the neighborhood.
I walk in, and I see a person up on a ladder,
doing something with a camera.
I'm like, is Ellen here again?
And they're like, you've got to be kidding me.
So twice--
I know.
I need to stop shopping where you don't pull pranks.
Well, that was so weird, because it
was a totally different market.
And you were in the same market.
We didn't happen to catch you.
So I think you're catching a theme here.
I go grocery shopping a lot.
Yes, you do.
But you were just buying water that day, I think.
Well, we had gotten sandwiches, and we were stopping in.
I was looking for firewood.
I needed it, because it was really rainy and cold, LA cold,
at that time.
So I was going to get some good hardwood, because that market
happens to have good hardwood.
I just wanted to see how many times I could say hardwood.
[LAUGHTER]
But you can't start a fire with hardwood.
You need soft wood to start a fire.
So why did you want hardwood?
Well, because I had a lot of soft wood.
I see.
So you needed hardwood?
Yeah.
I needed the hardwood to sustain the fire.
Right, right.
Andy just lost it when you said soft wood.
A little too close to home, Andy?
Average Andy.
All right.
So the last time that the whole cast was here,
we were celebrating that that was the final season.
And it's like a Cher concert.
You're actually coming back.
So congratulations.
Thank you very much.
You're actually doing it on TV.
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
Thank you.
Thank you, guys.
It wouldn't be happening without folks
like you that watch the show.
Presumably, presumably you do.
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
You've always been a huge supporter of the show
and had us all on many times.
And appreciate that.
But yeah, 11 seasons.
I can't believe it.
We will do.
Yeah, but it's consistently funny.
There's not been one season that has not
been as good as the other.
So it's great writing.
It really is.
And the characters are great.
All of you are so talented.
We all like each other.
That's the thing also.
We all get along.
And that's the question people always
ask me when I'm out, is like, do you all like each other?
It's like, yeah, we all-- we got very lucky
with each cast member.
Yeah, because sometimes that's not
the case, after even 2 seasons, but 11.
All right, so your girlfriend, you
mentioned she's in lots of your photos.
Does she enjoy your pranks?
Because you do a lot of things with her.
I think she enjoys them.
And why would you not?
I get so much enjoyment out of them.
Yeah, well, as long as you do, that's all that matters.
Somebody asked me, one time, they said,
if you had to guess, how many hours a week
have you spent messing with other people in your life?
And I'm like, a lot.
Yeah, that just happened the other day.
You told her you were taking a picture.
But you were actually taking video.
So she stood there forever.
And then it turns out you were actually doing video.
And that's only 13 seconds on my Instagram,
but that's full-on a minute and a half in real life.
She's like, what are you doing?
Just take the picture.
I'm like, the sun's not right.
But the best prank I ever got on her was I
grew a mustache, a ridiculous mustache.
And she hated it.
And then I convinced her that Modern Family, the writers
saw my mustache, and they loved it.
It was going into last season, and they thought--
there it is.
Yeah, that's it.
And they said, you know what?
We want Cam to have that mustache at the season
premiere.
So I had the creator, Chris Lloyd,
one of our executive producers, send me
fake emails, saying, here's our story ideas for the mustache.
This is it.
And she's like, you have got to be kidding me.
So she had to live with the mustache for two months, right?
The night before Modern Family started,
I got up in the middle of the night
and shaved it off, and then just woke up.
And she wakes up in the morning and looks at me, and is like,
your mustache is gone.
I'm like, what?
Are you kidding me?
Are you serious?
What do you mean?
Oh my god.
I'm like, I sleep-shaved, I sleep-shaved--
all just for that moment.
Oh my god, that is a long con.
That is hilarious.
All right.