This video is about "What Happens When They Let Their Pain Out on You!" Yes I'm
going to explain what happens when a person lets their anger, pain, anxiety
frustration out on you instead of dealing with it! To find out more please stay tuned to this video...
Welcome to The SCG Show! Please hit the like button for the YouTube algorithm
and turn your life around with BetterHelp! The link is in the description below...
I was inspired to create this video after I was seeing somebody who let their pain out on me! She
was an attractive girl, we were on the same page we were seeing each other, and it was really going
quite well! But one thing she struggled to deal with was her past, she had endured a very toxic
relationship, was engaged and I've been down that route as well and we could relate, and really get
on with each other over this topic! But the problem was she was obsessing over it... she would always
bring him up... always compare and I said "you've got to stop doing this! Because you've got to move
on!" And she said "But I want to talk about my ex because it makes me feel better about myself and
it makes me feel like you're better as well!" But I realized that that doesn't actually make any sense
and I politely told her not to do so and then she became cold, rude, distant and
she just said "we're not compatible!" and she wanted to end our little brief relationship! And I said
"This does not feel right... this is odd!" And she said "Well I'm not interested!" and blocked me!
So she projected some anger and pain onto me and projection is when you project your own
insecurities and emotions onto the other person for no reason! So you can tell somebody is doing
that if they become very personal in their attacks, very defensive for no reason... they're not actually
they've got no empathy towards you.... they show no logic and reasoning behind it because
one minute she was besotted with me and loved by me and told me how amazing I am... the next minute
because i said "let's not talk about exes anymore" all she wanted to do was be aggressive, rude and
run for the hills, which was not acceptable and I'm glad we blocked each other! So it's
not okay for a person to let their pain out on you... you are not their emotional punching bag
but also you should not let your pain out on other people! I understand if someone's done you wrong
but again that's not how things work....Let me go into this in a little bit more detail...
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When a person lets their pain out on you it's obvious that they're truly hurting on the inside
Perhaps you did nothing wrong... perhaps you just asked how they were or you answered their phone
call or you just turned up at their home and you were met immediately with a barrage of hateful
comments, personal remarks, insults etc...Once upon a time a very close friend of mine thought it
was acceptable to let their pain out on me and project their feelings = "you're a loser" they said
"you're overweight... you've never done anything in your life...you've got nothing to be proud of at all!"
We were sharing a ride home when he said all of these things and I remember just getting
out of the car and leaving.... As years went by and we eventually kissed and made up believe it or not he
told me the following. He said "I'm suffering from depression and I've been riddled with insecurities
all my life! It was not right the way I spoke to you. Everything I said to you was a reflection on
me! I'm so embarrassed and I'm sorry..." I forgave him but I never forgot how he treated me and I
have and always will keep such a person at arm's length... Ask yourself = have you ever been unfairly
treated this way or have you ever lashed out at someone close to you... raised your voice because
you're hurting... done something you regretted because you're in pain, due to suffering that
you've lost control? Whilst I'm not excusing this behavior (especially if the person is toxic)
but try and see what they're saying because nine times out of ten the person listing these remarks
letting their pain maybe insulting you, is actually talking about themselves! So if they're saying like
"you're overweight!" it's actually they're overweight! "You've never done anything right!"
it's actually what they're talking about. Understand that these people must be
really in pain and really hurting on the inside, despite what you may think! They may be attractive
they may have money, success but on the inside they are riddled with insecurity...
Now when someone projects on you and you feel really hurt, insulted
by such toxic behavior it's not good! Which is why I want to tell you about my sponsor BetterHelp!
I've used them myself and found it so effective for dealing with toxic people! It's an online
portal that provides direct to consumer access to behavioral health services. The online counseling
and therapy services are all web-based interaction so it's all over phone and text communication
like therapy on the go! You get four live sessions a month with unlimited messaging in between sessions
as well as access to group therapy webinars which are updated all the time! You can sign
up for the BetterHelp online counseling service in the description below! By using that link you're
supporting my YouTube channel and I'm going to give you 10% off your first month too! So turn your
life around and stop letting their pain out on you with BtterHelp! The link is in the description!
When a person lashes out on you and finally maybe lets their pain and frustration out ON you and
projects it could possibly mean that the mask slipped! If someone's mask slips they do something
that suddenly shows their real character when they've been pretending to be somebody different...
maybe someone nicer... more empathetic... compassionate! You see them for what they really are! This can be
somebody typically narcissistic or maybe any form of toxic person and they are usually very
fake, compulsive liars and obsessed with this fake image and of course dishonest! When you see those
true colors shining through typically during and after projection it may be a shock to the system!
Like I said that girl I was seeing she had told me how wonderful she was... how besotted she was with me
and how we were on the same page and when I said "listen we need to stop talking about your ex..."
"Don't tell me what to do!" Oh I see that mask slipping, you know and then suddenly you get
the true nature! Because these days most people are putting on an act - just look at social media!
Social media, Instagram etc is showing you perfection, is showing you unrealistic expectations
people hiding behind filters.... people making out they live lavish exciting lifestyles when really
maybe they're broke, depressed and actually utterly utterly confused with what they want
and how happy they really truly are... The mask does eventually slip... they don't necessarily need to be
narcissistic but they could be fake... they've given you this facade and then suddenly you've just
prodded not even intentionally you've just asked one question or you've just said "what's going on
here?" and suddenly you're met with rage! When they let their pain out on you, when they shout at you
scream, when they do that typically that's their true nature! That is who they really are underneath
the surface! Please don't forget to hit the like button for the YouTube algorithm and support my
channel by becoming an official member! The link for memberships is just down below! Another very
odd thing that the person who projects and lets their pain out and you assumes is this they think
you can take it! Seriously they genuinely assume because you may have a strong confident nature
and presence about yourself that you can handle their abuse and raid of hate (which in my opinion)
is total nonsense! Look boxers can enjoy being punched in the face... does that mean they willingly
want that? No! People who work in hospitals and can endure and handle a lot of stress and
trauma... does that mean they should wittingly take on more unnecessary pain and suffering? No!
So why on earth does it make it okay or acceptable for you to sit there and have someone scream and
shout in your face their own suffering and misery? It's not okay! I once had a very toxic friendship
with a guy who made it his mission in my life to make it more painful and suffering.... he put a
negative spin on everything... he turned me against my friends and would openly enjoy causing misery
Then one day for no reason at all he just started shouting abuse and obscenities in public at me
humiliating me as I stood there with him spitting in my face full of rage! I asked him calmly
"what on earth makes you think it's all right for you to do this to me?" He said "well look at how you
carry yourself! You stand tall, you're confident! I think a tough guy like you should be able to take
it!" I said "it was not okay" to then which he broke down and cried. "Well actually I'm not okay!" he said
"I hate my life and myself!!" "Get yourself some help!" I said to him as I walked away from him & our
long relationship together as friends... You may be confident... you may be assertive... you may have
endured a lot in your life.... people may describe you as very powerful and someone who can take a lot
but regardless of it it does not make it okay to be anybody's emotional punching bag
at all! Just because maybe you can even take it it doesn't mean you should!
If you have any form of self-respect and healthy boundaries in store for yourself you will not
tolerate or endure such behavior from people! For a few days I was sickened and disgusted with how
that woman I was seeing had spoken to me! I don't stand for it deserve it or tolerate such behavior
but then I took some time to realize the following few things = I have self-respect
had I not had any genuine respect for myself and my sanity I would have begged and pleaded
her to take me back and date me! On top of that I would never have shared how she treated me
and therefore grown resentful thus creating an imbalanced and potentially toxic relationship..
I also speak the truth...I don't bite my tongue especially with something or someone I perceive
to be wrong....therefore if a person is particularly toxic and has done something to hurt and trigger
me I will nip it in the bud early on! And lastly walking away.... she immaturely blocked me after a
terrain of abuse and insults but before she did I insisted "do not worry I won't speak to you again..."
mid-sentence as I was typing she blocked me! I was angry at the way I was treated but as time's
gone on I'm happy to be rid of such a horrible person! When you have self-respect and healthy
boundaries if a person lets their pain out on you there is the choice to = endure it or walk away
That's what you need to do! Eventually I realized that this is what you need to do when somebody
is being like this to you even if it's a family member, a friend! Yes sometimes people are hurt
but then if they apologize completely "sorry I'm actually going through a lot of pain" you get it... but if
they're just carrying on chipping away at you that is not acceptable! Work on yourself to be your own
pillar of strength...most likely you do not deserve to be another person's emotional punching bag ever!