(suspenseful music)
- [Josh] What's going through your head right now?
- Oh my God, you're gonna kill me.
- No!
- Welcome to Let's Talk About That!
The show about the show.
I am Stevie and my right elbow has never been touched
by my right hand.
This week's guests went to town riding on a pony,
stuck feathers in their hats and called them hats.
Please welcome Rhett and Link.
(audience applauds)
Oh, God.
That was frightening.
Hi, guys.
Happy Saturday.
Happy Saturday to you.
- Grey Stevie.
- [Stevie] Grey Stevie? Okay.
- This is Gray Stevie,
she's gone grey and she's covering it up with a beanie.
- You know what, jump in the water's fine.
- I told you guys not to share that secret with everyone,
but here we are and I'm swimming in the grey water.
- That opening kind of blew my brain a little bit.
- [Stevie] Which part?
- My right hand has never touched my right elbow.
Until now.
Do it, Stevie.
- Does this look cool when I do this?
Does it make me look very cool
'cause I'm feeling like it does.
Yeah, isn't that crazy.
- Yeah, you'd have to cut it off to do that.
It'd be worth it.
- That's so sad, hand.
I'm so sorry for you, hand,
that you never touched this elbow like this hand has.
I've touched the elbow that you can never touch.
And this is sad, too.
- You realize that we could do this
with a lot of different body parts.
Your right foot has never touched your right knee.
I hate to burst your bubble.
- My right foot has never touched my right knee.
- That's what you felt was wrong with that situation?
- You got to the part where the only body part
that couldn't touch a certain body part
and you were like, man!
- I didn't find anything but Jessica Sansby did find that.
- Child-like wonder is something
I'm never gonna apologize for.
- Oh my gosh, I have so much child-like wonder today
because mythical crew member, Bethany,
is going to eat her first ever burger in her whole life.
Today. - I thought you said she was
going to have a child and I was
- No, she will not be having any human children.
- [Rhett] Okay. Alright.
- [Stevie] Yes. Yes. - But what you did say
was Bethany has never in her eaten the burger.
- A burger.
- I don't believe it.
- It is so true.
- I believe that it is a set up
just for entertainment purposes.
- [Stevie] Absolutely not.
- I refuse to believe it.
Absolutely not.
It's coming and it's amazing.
Also, I put another Twitter scenario out there
in the Twitter-verse
and I'm going to be roasting you guys today,
which I'm very excited about.
Not my own roasts, but the roasts of the mythical beasts.
- Uh oh. - Oh snap.
- But before all of that,
- [Rhett] Who's got thin skin?
- It's beverage time!
And this week's beverage is real weird.
- Yes, it comes in an IV bag.
- I was about to say, where is the
- [Stevie] Okay. This is the cave shake.
Its paleo and the thing that's really weird about it
is like the whole,
I mean not the thing that's weird about it but
- One of the many things
- The back says that its a dessert, snack, meal-replacement.
So I was thinking like
- It says dessert first.
- Is there some kind of protein?
But not really.
Because when you look at the ingredients,
its organic coconut milk, coffee
- It's fat guys.
- [Stevie] And salt.
- Its got 100.
First of all.
This isn't the whole thing.
One serving, and there's 1.4 servings in here,
has 145% of your daily allowance
of saturated fat.
- That feels good though.
- What orifice are you supposed to put it in?
- It's coconut fat.
So it's not like really bad for you,
it's not, you know, what are you gonna do?
- When you're on a ketogenic diet,
your fat ratio in your diet is over 50%.
So you've gotta get a lot of good fats.
- [Link] Good for your brain.
[Link] Makes you think.
- If it only tasted great.
- Ooh! Oh that is salty!
- If I'm going to say something positive,
the consistency is good.
- Because its liquid and its a drink?
- Yes!
(Stevie laughs)
- I love drinking meals.
- To me, this is the best beverage that we've had
besides Sky Juice.
- Really?
- I really like it.
- Okay.
I was not exaggerating
or lying about the Bethany situation with the burger.
- How did you discover this?
- So, yeah, what happened was.
She was talking with Alex like weeks ago
outside of my office.
- Where you eavesdrop on all conversations.
- Yeah. Well, if Alex is involved in a conversation,
its a good one.
- Right. Right.
- You always eavesdrop.
- I don't know how it came up.
But Bethany was talking about
how she's never had a burger before
and she's not a vegetarian,
so its just like,
Weird. It was very weird.
And so immediately, - How do you avoid a burger?
[Stevie] when I heard this
- She's not a vegetarian
- Now, your wife didn't have a hotdog for a very long time.
- Right.
- Which I understand a little bit more.
It's still obviously nuts, but it is a little bit more
- Thank you.
- It's a little bit more understandable
because people know what's inside of a hotdog.
- Right, which means its probably not obviously nuts,
I'm just saying.
- She just, I guess, just had never had one
and then it just became a thing.
So, I was of course like,
you've gotta have your first burger
and we've gotta tape the whole thing.
- I have so many questions.
- Yeah. So we did that. - [Rhett] And they're all
about to be answered.
- And she's going to eat a burger
for the very first time on LTAT.
Take a look.
- Okay. So you knew that we were gonna have cameras in here.
- I did.
- You have no idea what we're talking about today.
- No.
- You have a deep dark secret.
[Stevie] Do you know what I'm talking about?
- Oh.
[Bethany] I do.
I've never eaten a hamburger.
- What's up with that?
Why haven't you eaten a hamburger?
- I was a hotdog girl.
I don't know, I think it kinda got to the point where
I hadn't eaten one in so many years
that I didn't wanna start.
- How many years are we talking?
- Soon to be 25.
- Would you be willing to eat a hamburger
for the very first time in your entire life?
- Who's making it?
- Luckily we have a little guy named Josh
who is our food producer
and I've asked him to find the perfect hamburger
for you to try and you just have to take a bite.
Are you okay with that?
- I am okay with that.
- Yeah?
- Yeah. Yes.
- Let's do it.
(Russian music)
- Alright, so we're here at Preux and Proper
with chef Samuel Monsour.
Dude literally wrote the the book on burgers,
"American Burger Revival".
I've read it or at least like skimmed it.
- You didn't *$%& read it.
- I can't read, I have been hiding that for my whole life.
Anyways, we're here to make Bethany the best first burger
of her life possible.
What are gonna do man?
- From what I understand about Bethany,
she's vegetarian so
we should definitely layer some veg on here.
I'm thinking mushrooms.
- She's not vegetarian.
She hasn't eaten red meat in ten years.
- So she's vegetarian.
- She's vegetarian.
- Yeah, we're gonna do grass-fed, grass-finished beef.
That's what we use here at Preux and Proper.
And all of our ingredients are gonna be like
kind of organic or sustainably sourced
from here on out so we don't have to talk about it anymore.
I was thinking for the burger patty,
we're gonna wanna probably smash it
and kind of get it crispy
because someone that hasn't had red meat in a while
probably is gonna be like a little taken back by raw,
medium-rare, rare. - Yeah, agree.
- So we'll get it good and crispy,
smashed out, and then I think cheesy.
- We gotta rely heavily on like vegetables
and cheese covering up the meat.
- Yeah, okay.
- Do you guys know if Bethany likes mushrooms?
Bethany!
[Josh] Mushrooms?
Anyways, I'm gonna try and bring back a memory for you.
Fourth of July 2015,
you made burgers
at your apartment. - West Hollywood.
- West Hollywood apartment.
- You made burgers that had
your pop's Russian dressing on it.
- Uh huh.
- It had pickles.
- Classic. - It had cheese.
- It had burger.
- That is the classic burger.
- Our goal isn't necessarily like,
we want you to like this sandwich.
- Okay.
- You gotta like turn off that instinct in your brain.
- Okay, yeah. I like this.
- Our goal is to give you the best
first burger experience possible.
- Yup. Pop's Roadside Burger. Yeah.
- Pop's Roadside Burger.
Are you fine making that?
- Yeah, yeah we can make that.
- Let's do it.
(Russian music)
- This is like mostly brisket and shoulder clod.
Instead of smashing on the flat top,
I like to crisp it out ahead of time.
We use like a hybrid bun.
It's a cross between brioche and portuguese,
so it has more gluten, less sweet.
So I have mild yellow tillamook cheddar
and then also though, the cabots are white.
- Texture is super important in cheese on a burger too.
So like you get tillamook melts awesome.
- Yeah.
- And then you get like the flavor punch with the cabot.
- Yeah.
- I support it man.
- This is gonna be a legit burger.
You wanna get all that crispy goodness.
- Oh that's gonna be fun.
- So we can let that rest.
Just a little bit of Russian on the bottom.
- Its the crispy cheese that is, I just like,
I wanna freakin eat this myself.
- [Samuel] And then from here,
[Samuel] totally just go like diner style.
Way too many pickles.
I don't think there's such a thing.
- I don't know dude, I trust you on this, man.
- I like a pickle on the plate.
But I don't want it to look like
it's a sloppy mess for her.
- I'm excited for Bethany, man.
I think it's a big emotional moment inside my own head.
- It's gonna be delicious.
- You don't look super excited.
Either way, we have a Mountain Valley Spring Water.
Chef Sammy, please present to her a Pop's Roadside Burger.
- Oh my.
- We went classic with just a roadside burger.
Like this is something that I think everybody in America,
they grew up eating burgers,
is familiar with.
So this should be maybe your first shot.
- Even if you never eat a burger again,
its perfect because that'll never live up to what this is.
- And it's not because, by the way,
it's not because I made it.
It's because of the ingredients.
Homemade zesty garlicy pickles, my pop's Russian dressing,
caramelized onions, two cheddars.
- I don't eat a lot of cheese, so.
- I mean if you don't eat a lot of cheese,
cheddar I think is the cheese for you.
- I'm learning a lot.
- So its just like a simple, clean, non-intimidating burger,
made with the best possible ingredients,
by literally the best man in a circle
of 14 million people to do this job.
I think you're gonna love it.
- Okay, well let's try.
Without further adieu,
as you guys are both watching me.
(suspenseful music)
- Look's juicy.
- [Josh] What's going through your head right now?
- Oh my god, you're gonna kill me.
- No!
- It tastes like a chicken sandwich.
- That's great!
- That's good.
- Do you love chicken sandwiches?
- I do.
- Are you happy right now
with like what is happening in your mouth?
- I'm concerned 'cause I wanna take another bite,
but I don't wanna make myself sick.
- Do you want me to show you how
to make a proper bite out of a burger?
- I'm so glad you asked,
'cause I thought that maybe actually
we all three could have a bite?
- Here's what you do.
- The triple bite?
- The triple bite.
- Common technique in burger eating, the triple bite.
I'm gonna show you, Sammy's gonna show you.
- There's a lot to digest, yeah.
- Then you just do the best you can.
Alright? Ready?
- Okay.
- Yup, yup, yup. - Oh.
- That's exactly.
- See because what happens is the first bite,
you get really excited
and then you have to keep biting.
- Why? Why do you, why do you have?
Oh my god you're just putting the whole thing.
[Bethany] I'll do a baby triple bite.
Oh god.
(Josh and Sammy laugh)
It is so much worse.
- [Josh] You don't have to swallow it.
[Josh] Spit it out on the plate.
- Baby bird it to me.
- It was too much for a first time.
I literally just spit that out on the plate
and you're eating it.
- That's whatever. - It's really delicious.
- Bethany, this was an important moment.
We need a final verdict.
What do you think?
- It's really good.
It's good.
I did enjoy it
and I enjoyed watching you guys devour it more.
- But tomorrow, would you come back here
and eat the same burger again?
- I would come back here
because this is a lovely place
and a lovely human.
I'd probably get a chicken sandwich though.
- I have that.
- [Rhett] Wow.
- [Link] Whew.
- Clapping.
- She said it tasted like a chicken sandwich.
- [Stevie] Chicken sandwich.
- You know what,
there are worse things
that could be said about a burger though.
- Yeah.
- I can think of a lot.
- I am so jealous because I love a good burger.
I would go in there.
Now, here's the thing that struck me
when they were bringing it out.
It was like I was watching a dramatic episode
of the Bachelorette except
the last guy for the rose was a burger.
- Yeah.
- Its like, two guys like, please love our burger.
- Yeah.
- Get in a hot tub with a burger.
- Yeah.
- Oh.
- You don't wanna do that.
- Alright, so Bethany's had her burger.
But we still need to get roasted
and so that's what we're about to do.
So I put on a Twitter scenario,
that's when I ask the mythical beasts,
I give them a scenario,
and then I ask for suggestions about what to do
or say in those scenarios so that I can live through them.
And this week I asked,
[Stevie] Scenario: Rhett and Link are sitting beside you.
Not behind you.
- Here we are.
- You can only give one of them a compliment,
and the other you have to roast.
What do you say and who do you say it to?
And boy did we get some good ones.
- Should we say before we do this,
that, no hard feelings.
- You might need to say that to yourself.
- Even if his feelings get hurt,
or my feelings get hurt,
we're not, we're not upset.
- That's right.
- And we'll get over it. - Yes. This is a mantra.
- And we embrace this.
- But here's the other thing.
Roasts aren't funny unless they're funny.
So I don't think that you're really gonna get offended
by anything that I have chosen.
I kind of left the ones out
that I feel like didn't really meet
the standard I was looking for.
- Okay, okay. Alright.
- So I'm gonna try to alternate as much as possible.
- [Link] Yes, gotta wrap that ego up though.
- But you're good, okay.
Okay, okay. So I'm gonna alternate.
Link?
- Yeah.
- [Stevie] You're a great guy.
- How?
- I'm just reading off of Twitter.
- I don't think
questions are part of it. - [Stevie] I didn't write
any of these.
- Well if I'm gonna get a compliment,
I'm gonna get it.
- [Stevie] Rhett,
you are a great guy.
- In quotes.
- So we're getting the vibes here.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Rhett, you are a very stable genius.
Link, you once mistakenly drank unfiltered cat poop water.
- Yeah, I remember that.
- I remember that too.
- That's kind of more of a fact.
- It was pretty funny.
- [Stevie] Honestly.
- Unintentionally.
- It's always a good sign
when you can just state unequivocal facts about someone
and therein lies the roast.
- [Stevie] Yeah, mm hmm.
Link, did it hurt when you fell from the vending machine?
Cause you a snack. Wink.
(audience laughs)
Rhett, you're a butt hole.
- Rings true.
- Not the first time I've heard that.
- I like the theme they went with for that one.
Rhett, you're like a secret menu item at Taco Bell.
Link, you're like a secret menu item at Shoney's.
(laughter)
- Yeah, those type of secret menus items
are someones last day working at the griddle.
- Shoney's. Shoney's reference.
- Link, the fact that you are so clumsy
and yet so successful
and alive is truly inspiring.
- Sounds like a roast.
- Rhett, you know what community college students
and cats have that you don't?
A chin.
(laughter)
- Oh yes!
Put that on a plaque.
I'd like to be able to whoop that one out.
Like maybe a laminated card?
- Whoop it out?
- Just whoop it out.
- Just whoop it out whenever you want.
- Whoop, there it is!
Talk to the laminated card.
- Okay. Rhett, you're a crocodile.
Link, you're like the bird that cleans his mouth.
(Rhett laughs)
- I don't know how offended I should be
because I'm totally lost.
Are you guys lost, too?
- Nope.
- A little.
- Okay, good.
I felt better about being roasted.
- Rhett, you have a smile as wide as Link's forehead.
[Stevie] That was a combo.
- That was a two-for-one.
That was very efficient.
- Rhett, you look beautiful as always.
Link.
I'm not writing this.
- I get it, I get it.
You're not writing it. [Stevie] It's not that bad.
- You're not writing it.
- You look like a chalk eraser
after it's been used to clean chalk.
- Ouch.
- Yup.
- Dusty.
- Oh, your hair.
- Oh my hair.
- Got it.
- [Stevie] Link, you have beautiful eyes.
Rhett, you have the body of a string bean.
(Link laughs)
- What about my eyes?
- This one I, This one I liked a lot.
Link, my middle school boyfriend called.
He wants his tee shirts back.
- Oh. - Oh yeah!
- Rhett, I hope my future boyfriend calls you
because he wants his style back.
Cause she wants to date someone
that dresses like you in the future.
- Oh, okay.
- And then finally.
- I'm not available.
- Link, you're the reason
I look forward to GMM every morning.
Rhett, you're the reason the expanded format failed.
(audience laughs)
- Oh.
- And that was written by Matt Carney.
- Writer extraordinaire.
- Okay Carney, I know where you sit!
- So not so bad. Not so bad.
I mean I picked some good ones, you know.
- It could have been a lot worse.
- I think its healthy.
- Yeah.
- Everybody needs that.
- We need to be taken down a notch or two.
- Yeah, that's right.
- So thank you mythical beasts
and thank you - Yeah, thank you.
- for liking, commenting,
and subscribing.
And now our final line,
until next LTAT,
keep on BYMB.