- If you are someone who is like so many others
who are currently in kind of a challenging time
in their lives, then stay tuned.
I have some questions for you
that you may want to ask yourself,
so that you can start to find your way out of the struggle,
and discover a better life.
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This episode of Amy TV is brought to you by our friends
at BetterHelp.
Good morning, good life, welcome back to Amy TV,
where we come together
to help you go after the life you want.
If you are an ambitious professional,
ready to create your own success,
and discover the productive lifestyle,
then I hope you'll subscribe to this channel.
I make new videos to help you out with that every week.
Something I find to be the most frustrating
during a time of struggle
is feeling like it's very limited
as to who you have to talk to.
If the conversation is going to start with us,
which let's be honest, it is,
there is an internal conversation going on,
whether we like it or not.
Then why don't we try to make it
a little bit more productive.
We can tell ourselves a story about what's going on,
and we can believe that story,
or we can start to flip the story on its head a little bit.
And that is what I'm hoping
the questions that I share with you today,
that you can think about, you can ponder,
will be helpful with making you see the opportunity
in reshaping the conversation.
And quite frankly, the conversation must get better, right?
Because it means we're more likely to be happier,
rather than anxious, or nervous,
or discouraged all the time.
Hit the like button on this video
if you are ready for some good questions,
and ready to reshape the conversation.
Question one is a simple one.
How do you want to feel?
This has recently been an epiphany of mine,
as I've done some of the internal work
that needs to be done when I'm going through
a challenging time.
And quite frankly,
I don't know that I ever really knew to ask myself this
before the last couple of months.
We wake up, we feel a certain kind of way.
We're sad, we're upset, we're worried.
And we don't think maybe we could choose a different feeling
if we wanted to,
or if we didn't want to feel like that anymore,
what would we choose if we could change it?
And the reality is we can change it.
It's within our control.
It seems hard, right?
It seems impossible most of the time.
We can always see something around us,
or next to us, or someone who's saying something to us
that would indicate that now's not the time
for the fanciful feelings that I would love,
because I need to take out my negative rage
on this situation,
but we don't have to, we can choose something else.
So what are the feelings that you would feel?
Is it a couple of them, maybe there's three of them,
that are your go-to.
Maybe those are the feelings you can remind yourself of
when you're not feeling that way,
and remind yourself,
hey, I could choose to feel something else.
The second question is inspired from Tim Ferriss.
When I heard this one, I just thought, oh,
what a great question to get real with yourself.
How am I complicit in creating the conditions around me
that I say I don't want?
Oh, doesn't that hit you in the belly?
Like, oh crap, yeah, that's on me.
It's very easy for us to look out at everything
we could blame,
but we could also look at what we would want to blame,
and ask ourselves how we are contributing to that situation,
not just how it's getting to us.
So if we don't like our job, we can say, I hate my job.
I hate my job, but you're the one keeping the job, right?
So how are you complicit in that condition,
in that situation?
I think it just really reminds you,
just like you can choose how you want to feel,
you can choose some of these conditions
that you've convinced yourself you are stuck in.
Question number three is from a book called
The One Thing.
And I think this is a good one
for those of us who feel really overwhelmed,
those of us who are overachievers,
and kind of love being overachievers,
but also realize that it takes away
from our actual productivity on a daily basis.
What's the one thing I can do such that by doing it,
everything else will be easier or unnecessary?
I love this one,
because it reminds us of how much we actually do
that is unnecessary,
or is just an extra thing we added to our plate
without actually considering what it would do to our day,
or do to our wellbeing.
If you could do one thing that wipes out
a bunch of other things, what would it be?
Especially if we're interested
in the productive lifestyle, right?
If we want to be more productive,
it's not about having more things to do.
It's about having the right thing to do
that moves us forward toward a goal.
So what is the one thing that you could do
that would make everything else easier, and unnecessary?
On that note, let's take just a second,
so we can thank the sponsor of this episode of Amy TV,
and that's our friends at BetterHelp.
Do you feel like there is something that is eating at you,
something that is taking away from your happiness,
maybe creating stress in your life?
Is it preventing you
from being a better version of yourself,
from achieving your goals?
I don't know about you,
but anything I can think of on this list
is always going back to negative self-talk.
It's always going back to scarcity mindset,
and every time I think this is holding me back,
this is a circumstance that I don't like,
this is a condition I would not choose.
I know that there is a root issue that starts here.
This is why when I need help, I call on BetterHelp.
BetterHelp actually assesses your personal needs,
and matches you with your own
licensed professional therapist,
who you can start communicating with within 48 hours.
It's not a crisis line, this is professional therapy
that's done well and securely online.
BetterHelp's therapists network of over 20,000 individuals
also provides a broad range of expertise
that you might not find in your local area.
Plus there are services available for clients worldwide.
You can log into your account anytime,
and send a message to your therapist,
and then receive timely and thoughtful responses.
When you had to my link at betterhelp.com/amylandino,
you will join over a million people
who have taken charge with their mental health,
with an experienced professional.
You'll also be able to enjoy a special offer
for Amy TV viewers, which is 10% off of your first month.
Again, that link is down in the description below.
Our next question that's gonna help us
during a challenging time.
Where can I let go in my day, a little bit?
One of the things that we forget
when we're calendar blocking,
and we're trying to be productive
is that some of that is to allow space,
and space is easy to let go of, and not even plan for,
because we have so many things we think we have to do,
or we actually think maybe we want to do,
but even the things that we want to do,
getting those things done feels so much better
if we felt like we had the space, and the time,
and the creative mentality,
and the happiness to do them the right way.
So you may not feel like it makes sense to plan for space,
or plan for time to just stop and pause.
But this is among the most important things
that you could do.
One simple way to do this
is to make sure you're getting enough sleep.
That sleep time is so critical,
and that's actually time you can let go
a little bit more of your day.
You're letting go of your day
by adding an hour to your sleep.
And how amazing is that
to think of how productive of a move that would be?
The fifth question I think that we could all ask ourselves
to have a more positive conversation
is what do I know for sure?
I love this question.
I'm pretty sure it's a book I read in the past.
I can't think of it now.
Actually, it's probably called exactly that,
what I know for sure, but I like this question,
because it is supposed to remind you
of the difference between truth and confabulation.
We're all pretty familiar with the word truth,
but we can be reminded of what it actually means
by knowing what the word confabulation means,
which is a lie that has been told truthfully.
And this is what we really mean
when we say we're doing some storytelling with ourselves.
We tell ourselves a story
after we have a weird encounter with someone,
we tell ourselves a story
when suddenly our perfectionist selves show that we are not.
We tell ourselves a story
when something happens
that wasn't supposed to go a certain way.
We tell ourselves a story the way someone talks to us,
even though we're the ones deciding
how they've spoken to us,
how they've spoken to us may not have been delivered
in the way that we took it.
This confabulation, this storytelling
is preventing us from knowing the truth.
The truth may be someone speaking to me,
the truth may be a car accident happened,
the truth may be I posted something with a grammar mistake.
That's the truth.
Everything else that we tell ourselves,
and storytell around that truth
is potentially confabulation.
So I think this question is great,
because when you say, what do I know for sure?
Just identify the truths, the actual facts of a situation,
and then stop storytelling altogether,
and just say, well, that happened, okay.
It's so much better to put that conversation to a stop
when you just identify what actually was the case.
Question number six is a good one,
because I think it reminds us
of why we got started down whatever path we're going
in the first place.
And that question is
what are you doing when you feel in your element?
This is what I think triggers someone
to realize they've discovered their passion, right?
You feel in your element,
even if you screw up a little bit,
or you fail, it's no big deal,
because the process is so exciting to you,
or just doing it or immersing yourself into whatever it is,
makes you feel so good,
that even the result might not matter to you in the end,
the journey is just that good.
So what is that thing?
What is that action?
What is that activity?
What are you doing when you feel in your element,
and how often are you doing it?
Or maybe something that used to feel
was very in your element no longer feels that way anymore.
That's okay, what does it feel like now?
And are you doing too much of what used to be you,
and isn't so much anymore?
If we don't spend enough time in our element,
we don't really feel like ourselves,
or at least not our happiest selves.
And the final question I have for you today,
number seven, is among one of my favorites.
This is another one inspired by Tim Ferriss.
I actually write down a lot of questions
that he says on his podcast or something.
'Cause I just think there's so thought-provoking.
What would this look like if it were easy?
We've asked a few different iterations
of this question thus far,
but it's just the snappiest, it just gets to the point.
What would this look like if it were easy?
Just the normal things that we have to do
throughout our day,
maybe some kind of work-related task,
or home-related task, or errand you have to run,
anything, just before you do what you have to do,
just saying, what would this look like if it were easy?
It really makes you think about
is something necessary at all?
Could something be done by someone else?
Is delegation something we can think about here?
Or maybe I'm adding too many steps to that process.
And what actually has to happen
is just this piece right here.
Us perfectionists, we really fall into this camp a lot,
because it's like, okay, when I'm gonna do something,
I'm gonna do it all the way.
So your task list of one thing
is actually a task list of 88.
And that's not what it would look like if it was easy.
Perfect is the enemy of done.
So to be done, how do we get there the quickest,
the most effective, but the quickest,
and that's why I love this question.
Well, what would it look like if it was easy?
This is where I think real creativity happens,
because you start to let your imagination work.
Remember what we used to daydream
for those of us who grew up without a smartphone,
that's imagination to me.
And that's where I think we can go,
the place we want to be,
when we know what success looks like,
and if we were to pave the fastest straightest line
to that destination,
then this question helps us to see that
so much more quickly.
What would it look like if it were easy?
And let that make you just feel a little bit lighter,
even if it maybe can't be the case,
at least you know that you have options.
What questions would you add?
I especially love the idea of using some of these
as a journal prompt, maybe to start your day
on the right terms.
So if one of these questions is good,
which one did you love the most,
but would you add a different one to the list?
What would help you
if you're trying to get out of the mindset of this struggle?
Leave that in the comments down below.
That's all for today.
Thank you so much for tuning in.
I appreciate it, as always,
remember, subscribe for good vibes,
kiss the ones you love, and go after the life you want.
Cheers.
I hope this was a helpful video for you.
I've made some others
that might also contribute to the cause,
a little bit about negative mindset,
and how we can work against that
in a more positive direction,
a couple tricks on how to be more positive.
Click, and watch, and check it out.