- Massive thanks to Alienware for sponsoring today's video.
Ever since I was a kid I've wanted to get
my hands on an Alienware computer
and now today I am fortunate enough
to have the Alienware m17 R3 laptop in front of me.
This thing is so thin, it is so pretty to look at
and it has the power to back it up.
I am in heaven right now.
Alienware is the ultimate gaming computer.
They have been the industry leader for a long time.
Everything they do, whether it's their design,
their innovation, it's all with gaming and gamers in mind.
These Alienware battle stations
are powered by the latest Intel Core processors
which you know is so important
when it comes to computer performance.
This thing is also used by ESports professionals.
And if it's good enough for them,
it's probably gonna knock it out of the park
for you as well.
To have this kind of power be portable and not bulky.
It's so thin and mobile, I'm blown away.
You can learn more about this at alienware.com
I highly recommend you do so.
Are we done filming this, I kind of wanna go to my room
and play this for the next 48 straight hours.
(upbeat music)
- What's up everyone I know we don't know each other
but I'm actually pretty good at this game
so just follow my lead.
(upbeat rock music)
We'll take cover in the night tower
and you snipers will just pick up the squads
one by one got it.
- Alright I'm ready, let's do pepper pop
in the deli what, oy.
(upbeat rock music)
- I have no idea what you just said.
- Peeps pops deli walks in the pili popper in there.
- Are you like eating peanut butter?
- Pepper Billy whop in the bap bap.
- Well then just pick up the squad on left okay?
- Its at the deli, its at the deli.
- Oh my god,
I'm dead, cool.
Thanks for the warning dude.
- I thinks so dead.
- Oh, Okay, I get it, you're British.
- That's right play me oy, two.
- I need to get my translator.
(yells) - Pop, pop.
- [Narrator] Every online gamer ever.
- What up Samurai Squad, ching!
It's your boy Samurai and today,
I'm gonna be teaching you how to do
some better builds and faster.
Now to build the perfect tower all you gotta do
is remember your 90s and then,
(keyboard clattering)
boom, perfect built.
Here, let me show you again a little bit slower.
(keyboard clattering)
Boom.
- Okay, remember my 90s and... (keyboard clattering)
(glass shuttering) (groans)
Yeah, I'm getting better.
- Boom, it's just that easy.
- Gaming is fun.
- [Narrator] Where's my heals, Where's my heals?
Oh, I'm the healer.
(soft upbeat music)
- What's up Jamie 26, I just got the worst teammate,
I hope you aren't a weirdo?
- Nope not a weirdo at all.
- Awesome, well I think we should start by landing
in Pleasant Park and building up our inventory.
- This is boring, I'm rushing, lets do this.
(upbeat music)
(keyboard clattering) - God-
(beep)
- On me. (breathing heavily)
Damn it I'm dead again.
- Hold on, I'll revive you.
- No need, I'm gonna use this time to eat some food.
Okay, all right?
Lets do this.
- [Narrator] You mean, you actually play with a controller
and not a mouse and keyboard (chuckles).
- So tell me about yourself?
- Well, I love playing video games.
For me it's all about the mindset.
You know, you gotta grind every day
and not listening to the haters, you know.
'Cause the haters, they'll rob you of the positive vibes.
And if you have bad vibes and you can't grind,
which you have to do every day.
So yeah, it's really all about that grind.
- Okay, (laughs) cool.
What do you do when you're not gaming?
- When I'm not gaming, I'm grinding.
You know, I'm just staying on that mindset.
- No, yeah, you told me that.
But like, tell me about your personality.
Like, who are you?
- well, I'm like a grinder.
So I stay positive and grind every day, mindset.
- Yeah, you said that already.
But that's not really a personality.
You just keep saying positivity and grind
over and over again.
Like, who are you as a person?
- Oh (mumbles).
- You wanna say grind again, don't you?
(mumbles) - Grind!
(gulps)
(clanking)
Mindset.
- [Narrator] Oh great, a kid is on our team.
Oh, he's the best one we have.
- Okay, y'all ready to raid this Cavern?
- Actually you guys, I was kind of wondering
if you maybe wanted to check out my tea shop.
- Your what?
- Well my favorite part of this game is the world building
and you can actually build and run your own tea shop.
And mine's doing pretty well lately,
but I need some employees to help me run it,
if you guys are interested.
- Let me get this straight.
You want me a level 60 barbarian,
put down my sword of El-drawn and Phoenix shield,
put on an apron and sell tea (laughs).
- You're gonna love it I promise.
Just give it a shot.
- Yeah, yeah, sure, whatever.
Let's give your stupid thing a shot.
- Awesome.
(upbeat music)
- Alright, guys. I need an Iced Chai Latte
and I needed like three minutes ago.
Come on guys pick it up. (clapping)
- You got it, I'm on it.
- This is so intense, this is-
- See, I knew you would love it, yes.
- Dude take out the trash.
You gotta FIFO first in first out, okay?
(alarm ringing) (sighs)
- I'm sorry guys, that's my alarm, I got to go to work.
(sighs)
- Bummer man, where do you work again?
- I work at a tea shop, It's the flipping worst (sighs).
- Ew, have fun making tea, lame.
(clanking) - We gotta go come on
that iced latte ain't gonna make itself.
- I'm getting the milk, I'm getting the milk.
Oh, God we are out of almond milk.
We are out of almond milk.
(crying) What are we gonna do?
- [Narrator] Mmh, instead of showing my skills
I think I'll talk trash.
- Dude, guys, check out this new character skin I got.
(keyboard clicking) - Dude Seth, that's sick.
You hit rank 90 already?
- No, no you can get it without ranking.
- But isn't it that not like $200?
(laughs) - Guys, it's free.
All I had to do is type in these numbers I found on a card
in my dad's wallet, works just like a promo code.
I can use it on any website.
I bought a pool with it.
- [Dad] Seth I need to talk to you right now.
- Hey, guys, I'll be right back.
I gotta go before my dad kills me.
(upbeat music)
If I die, split the pool
- How do we split a pool?
- Dibs on the water half.
- Dang it.
- [Narrator] Today's the day I make diamond.
- Yo, what the f how'd you hit that man?
You're totally using an Aimbot.
I'm sweeping your computer for an Aimbot
right now bro you're cheating.
(keyboard clattering)
(notification ding)
Okay, (sighs) alright it came back clean.
(breathes heavily)
Yo, Bro I'm sorry I accused you of having an Aimbot
that wasn't cool of me and I'm sorry,
are we good?
- [Robot] Yes, we are good.
Phew, that was a close one.
- Dude you wanna like hang out sometime,
grab food or something?
- [Robot] Yes, would you like to also eat food err feelings,
err file not found.
- Respect.
- [Narrator] Argh, nothing ever drops for me.
(upbeat music)
- Hey, I hope you're good at this game?
- I am, I compete professionally?
(upbeat rock music)
- Oh cool, okay, this would be fun.
Let's try and drop at Pleasant Park and-
- And build up our loo.
Great idea. - Cool.
(whirring)
Oh, there is guy 10 o'clock I can push him.
- No worries I snipped him. - Nice.
(fast-paced rock music)
Oh, there is another guy on top of the clock tower.
I'll just go- - Got him.
- Well you're fast.
Okay, I'll just open this crate.
- You do that. (notification ding)
- Oh, wow, there's a rocket launcher in here.
- You won't need it.
While you're wasting time opening that crate.
I killed everyone,
(notification ding) we won.
- That wasn't fun for me at all.
- I know right, too easy.
You wanna squad again?
- No, I'm gonna go back to playing with my British friend.
- I don't know what he's saying.
But he's bad enough to let me get
a couple kills before we lose.
- Totally understand, it's hard to be a loser.
Maybe, I don't know.
I've never lost. (keyboard clattering)
- Okay, Gigi.
- [Narrator] I've had to pee for 10 hours.
- [Robot] Isn't it crazy, how we grow hair
and go to the bathroom?
- Dude, I was just thinking that,
like I was just thinking about how I...
Like, isn't it weird?
Like, I go to the bathroom all the time, man.
Dude we have so much in common.
- [Robot] I would like to pursue romance with a human.
- Honestly that'd be awesome, man.
I feel like you get me.
- [Narrator] I could go pro at any time,
I just don't have the skills.
- Oh, hey, Jess, we're just waiting on Frank
and then we're gonna start.
- Oh, no, man he's on, he just doesn't have a mic.
- Oh, that's gonna give us a disadvantage.
- Don't worry dude I know how to translate emotes
so I'll just tell you what it means.
- Well, he's doing the floss dance.
What does that mean?
- That means that he's ready to play.
- Wait, he's doing the floss dance then Millie rock.
- Oh, that means this is the guy at the East, what?
- Okay, it appears to be the floss dance,
Millie rock, teabag, then floss again.
- Oh, my God are you serious?
Dude that means he's been kidnapped like IRL.
(gasps) What are we doing
we have to save him (beeps)
where's my phone.
- No, no, no wait its floss dance, Millie rock,
teabag, floss again, then bird call.
- Oh, phew thank God.
He's saying that he thinks your haircut is bad.
- Oh, wait, how can you see my hair?
- I don't know, let me ask.
(keyboard clattering)
He said he was just guessing but you usually get bad cuts.
Well, either that or he is really being kidnapped
I mean, emote translation isn't like an exact science.
- [Narrator] Dude, what's your ping?
That's a pretty good ping.
- [Robot] How about something like a Netflix and chill?
I'm not looking for anything serious.
- I don't know like if you're waiting till marriage
that's fine but if you wanna like do stuff
physically I'd be down for that.
- [Robot] I wait for no human concept of marriage.
I would like to bone upon first sight.
(laughing)
(beep)
- You know, I found the Pugee for a chat to talk about
am a pro gamer and what in the billy bop don't know nothing.
- You what, you what?
- Today is my birthday, make me a wish.
(laughing)
(beep)
- Look at my floor right now.
Oh my God tripod joke wait,
those are on my floor.
I didn't eat lunch today so.
(beep)
- Oh no, I think I cut my thumb,
do we have workers comp in here?
- I don't think so, just suck at it.
- I can't suck on it my sucking on cool down right now.
- Hey guys work was canceled due to quarantine, so I'm back.
- Oh, thank God. - Thank God.
- Would you mind taking out the trash?
The trash is overflowing right now.
- You think you gotta cast...
The well of everlasting trash.
(beep)
(soft guitar music)
Oh, hello, I didn't see you there.
Thank you so much to Alienware for sponsoring this video
and of course, thank you to all of you for watching it.
Those two pieces of the puzzle came together
to make the perfect (smooching)
"Every Online Gamer Ever" (smooching).
Hey, if you wanna see more Smosh content
and you're just not done watching us yet,
well wants to check out this video right over here.
But wait, there's more.
Because if you found us without subscribing,
first of all, thank you but why not subscribe?
You do that right down here.
But wait, Damien,
where did you get this incredible Smosh shirt?
Well, why don't you check out our merch store,
( lips flapping) right down here.
(whirring)