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So we begin this class with a little illustrative story
in it, there's a new priest and he is concerned about his way of listening to confessions
and he wants an older priest to sit in on
and listen a little so he can give him some feedback.
So after a few rounds of confession, the older priest asked him to
come out of the confessional to give him some feedback, and he said:
"Why don't you try this: first, you know, cross your arms over your chest, you know"
he says, "and rub your chin with one hand" - the guy does this, so he's copying him
he goes: "Now say things like 'I see, yes, go on, yeah' and 'how did that feel?'"
- young priest does that and then the old priest says:
"Now don't you think that's a little bit better than
slapping your knee and saying "no kidding, what happened next?"
[laughter]
Actually I think the way the young priest is doing it actually sounds better, but...
So, it's fun and what it points to is how integral
listening is, how we listen to pretty much everything that happens in our life, it's
the listening, the inward listening that's so necessary
if we're going to be intimate with our inner life.
And then being able to listen to each other
for there to be a real touching, connecting, knowing...
And then for us listening into our larger world so rather than unreal others
we can sense the realness of humans and respond to what
our world needs, what our earth needs - listening to the earth.
And, in a spiritual way, it's that
deep listening into the very nature of who we really are;
the awareness, the love that's here. So listening is
pretty much at the center of much and when I
talk about it I often think of this
story I heard many years ago I'm gonna read you a bit of it
I share it now and then, it's a story about an African tribe and
the birth date of the child is counted not by
the days from when they're conceived, as some cultures do,
but rather from when the child was a thought in the mother's mind.
And that's when the child was truly conceived
because everything we do is out of mind, out of awareness.
And then, when the woman decides she's going to have a child,
that feeling fills her and she goes off sits under a tree by herself
and listens until she hears the song of the child that wants to come.
And then after she's heard that song she comes back to the man who'll be the child's father and teaches it
and they make love to physically conceive the child
some of the time they sing the song to the child and that's their way of inviting it.
And then, when the mother teaches the song she continues to teach the midwives
and the old women at the village so when the child arrives
those that are around her can sing the song to the child to welcome it.
And then as the child grows the other villagers are taught the child's song and if
it falls down, hurts its knee, someone picks it up and sings his song to it.
Or if it does some great thing like rites of
puberty as a way of honoring that person they sing the song and it goes that way through life.
Through marriage, the songs are sung together and finally when this child is ready to die
all the villagers know their song,
and so when they're lying they're ready to die they sing it
for the last time to that person.
So when I heard that, and whenever I kind of
reflect on it, and that kind of
it speaks to a deep level of attunement,
of listening past personalities, of listening to essence.
And it's a capacity of ours; each of us have this
capacity for deep listening and then we often have it blocked
and so that's what we'll explore...
So it feels, and I suspect many of you are
thinking the same way, that listening is is really really missing
in our contemporary society and that
the faster we move and the more contentious we are,
the louder and louder we, in some way try to communicate, and the less
actual listening is going on... And so as it's said
the more stress, the more mistrust, the less we listen.
You know, the tweeting goes out of control and, you know, you just hear
more and more condemnation and people trying to prove points and less
receptivity... From Will Rogers:
"A person in Congress gets up to speak, says nothing, nobody listens,
and then everybody disagrees - that's how it goes."
So these are noisy times and to have the message of listening to the song,
however we want to think of it, if we can start practicing that,
it does ripple out; it really does make a difference.
And for me a key understanding is that listening is not another
capacity on our checklist of good personhood, you know,
it's very profound, it really has to do with receptive presence.
How much can we stop doing and defending and grasping
and come into a quietness that lets us listen?
So we'll begin with a short reflection, if you will,
and if it helps you to close your eyes - it does for me -
please feel free...
I'd like to invite you to bring to mind someone you know
who you consider a really good listener.
For some, you might notice when I ask that it's quite a select few...
but sense someone that you feel is a really good listener.
And then as you consider that person, sense what is it that characterizes good listening
I mean let some words come to mind.
What qualities really characterize good listening?
What is it you pick up in the other person that lets you know they're really listening?
You can continue to consider this, but in a sense, these are all
expressions of presence, if you think about it:
space, you know... respect....
Presence - there's a respect in it.
Self-awareness, non-judging, interest...
For me when I'm with somebody and I can sense it's a real interest - that's listening.
Care, you know...
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