AS CRAZY AS THINGS HAVE GOTTEN IN THIS COUNTRY, IT'S NICE TO
REMEMBER THAT BRITAIN'S GOVERNMENT IS IN ABSOLUTE
SHAMBLES.
( LAUGHTER )
BRITISH PARLIAMENT.
THEY WEAR POWDERED WIGS AND SWING AROUND A CEREMONIAL MACE--
( BLEEP ) AND THAT'S WHEN THEIR GOVERNMENT
IS FUNCTIONING.
RIGHT NOW, THE BRIT HAS DEFINITELY HIT THE FAN, ALL
THANKS TO BRITISH PRIME MINISTER AND RACIST FIGGY PUDDING, BORIS
JOHNSON.
JOHNSON IS PUSHING THE U.K. TO GO THROUGH WITH BREXIT WITHOUT A
WITHDRAWAL AGREEMENT, AND THIS WEEK, HE THREW EVERYTHING INTO
FURTHER TURMOIL WHEN HE MADE THE DECISION TO SUSPEND PARLIAMENT
FOR FIVE WEEKS.
AND I BELIEVE WE HAVE FOOTAGE OF THE BRITISH PRIME MINISTER
GIVING THE SHUTDOWN ORDER.
>> SHUT IT DOWN!
TURN IT OFF!
>> Stephen: BEAUTIFUL CULTURE.
GENTEEL-- IT'S A BEAUTIFUL, GENTEEL CULTURE.
>> Stephen: SO JOHNSON SHUT DOWN PARLIAMENT JUST AS BRITAIN
CAREENS TOWARD ECONOMIC DESTRUCTION.
AND AS YOU MIGHT IMAGINE, PARLIAMENT DID NOT TAKE TAKE
THAT WELL.
IN FACT, THEY TOOK OUT THEIR ANGER ON-- AND THIS IS WHERE
THINGS REALLY START TO GET WEIRD-- "A WOMAN CALLED BLACK
ROD."
BY THE WAY, IF YOU'RE AT WORK, DO NOT GOOGLE "BLACK ROD."
BUT I'LL SAY THIS, I WILL SAY THIS-- NO, NO!
( APPLAUSE )
GET COOL NAMES LIKE BLACK ROD FOR THE PEOPLE IN OUR
GOVERNMENT?
INSTEAD OF SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE, NANCY PELOSI SHOULD BE
"GAVELORIA, EMPRESS OF THE CRIMSON THUNDER."
( LAUGHTER )
IS AN OFFICIAL WHOSE JOB, IN THIS CASE, IS TO TELL PARLIAMENT
TO GO HOME.
AND HERE'S HOW SHE WAS RECEIVED.
( BOOING ) IT IS NOT EVERY DAY YOU SEE A
ROOMFUL OF ADULTS LOUDLY BOOING A BLINGED-OUT VERSION OF THE
QUAKER OATS GUY.
( APPLAUSE )
CINNAMON, I DECLARE PARLIAMENT..."
THEN IT WAS TIME TO HEAR FROM MY FAVORITE PERSON IN THE ENTIRE
WORLD: HOUSE OF COMMONS SPEAKER AND MAN WHOSE BANANA WAS
SNATCHED BY A MISCHIEVOUS MONKEY, JOHN BERCOW.
>> THIS IS NOT A STANDARD OR NORMAL PROROGATION.
( YELLING )
FROM YOU, MR. STEPHENSON.
YOU WOULDN'T HAVE THE FOGGIEST IDEA WHERE TO START IN
SEEKING TO COUNSEL ME.
I REQUIRE NO RESPONSE FROM YOU!
I REQUIRE NO RESPONSE FROM YOU, YOUNG MAN!
I REQUIRE NO RESPONSE FROM YOU!
GET OUT, MAN!
YOU WILL NOT BE MISSED!
>> Stephen: OH, GOD.
OH, LORD.
MY HEART, OH, MY GOD.
I WANT TO HANG OUT WITH THIS GUY!
I WANT TO PARTY WITH YOU, COWBOY.
MAYBE DO BRUNCH!
"YOUNG MAN!
YOUNG MAN!
WE REQUIRE MORE MUFFINS.
NO RESPONSE FROM YOU.
GET OUT, MAN!
GET OUT!
AND RETURN WITH MY BOTTOMLESS MIMOSA, OR YOU WILL NOT BE
MISSED."
( LAUGHTER ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH JAMES McAVOY.
STICK AROUND.