And what I want to do right now, Katherine, is answer some
frequently asked questions.
Now, the first and most common question we get is, "Do I need to do this
with my partner?"
Absolutely not.
I'd say that most of the people who do it are people who are just coming in
as individuals, and those people don't even ever want to speak to that
person again, which, you know, if someone behaves really
badly is understandable.
We don't have an agenda that you need to be friends.
We don't have an agenda that you need to stay connected.
We certainly don't have an agenda that you need to do it as a couple.
But if you do do it as an uncoupling couple, we have certain instructions
for you that we've created just for you.
So we give you guidance on how best to do that.
But truthfully, the majority of people who come into the program are single
and are just struggling with a hurting heart.
- I see.
Now the second question is, "Is this relevant if I don't have children
or if I'm not married?"
- Absolutely.
And as a matter of fact, in many ways, I'd say it's if you want to be
in a couple, a happy, healthy relationship,
I would say that it's kind of mandatory because you want to be able to turn your
breakup into...which is really the worst thing for many people that's ever
happened to them.
But you want to be able to turn it into the best thing that's ever happened.
And that's always going to have to do with wisdom gained and lessons learned that you
can now pegboard into your next relationship.
You don't want to take unfinished business from a past partner into your new
relationship because you will sabotage that relationship.
You want to go into your next relationship clear, wise, having healed that wound,
and having been, you know, all the more capable of loving
because of it.
- Next question is, "I got divorced over five years ago, will this still help?"
- It is never too late to have a conscious uncoupling.
I've had people coming into the process, you know, decades after.
- And you don't need your other partner there.
- You do not need that person there. - It's a personal process.
- It's a very personal process.
But I will say that I've met people who, many years after a bad breakup, had not
even had so much as a date.
And very often, we've been able to trace it back to their heart.
They thought the time could heal everything and they thought
that eventually, they'd get to a place, you know, where they would find love again
and they just didn't and they didn't know why it wasn't happening until they
did conscious uncoupling.
And then they kind of saw all of the covert ways they had shut down,
that they were guarded, that they were pushing people away,
even though they desperately wanted love.
So I encourage people to come at any time to conscious uncoupling so that you can
actually be free to open your heart and have love in your life.
It's too big a cost to pay to never let anyone close to you again because you've
been hurt in the past.
And anyone who's gone through a broken heart knows that they never want that
to happen again.
So conscious uncoupling will actually have you be able to heal that wound in a way
that has you feel safe to open your heart up to another person again.
- Beautifully said.
Now, what if...this is a question we got.
The question is, "What if I'm hoping to get back with my partner?"
- Oh, that's a great question.
You know, a lot of people do end up recoupling
after doing conscious uncoupling.
Because one of the things that the program does, and this is why I can so clearly say
that you will have an experience where you can trust yourself moving forward to do
this differently, is that I'm teaching you, almost inadvertently as I'm taking
you through the healing process, some core skills that are necessary
for healthy relationships.
So, you know, like the self-soothing that happens in the first week,
or the ability to take personal responsibility in the second week,
or the third week where we look at your core wounds and how that's been playing
out in relationships, and how do you become conscious of that
in such a way that you don't do that anymore.
All of these things create good relationships.
So very often, people will end up recoupling.
However, what I suggest is that you come in without an agenda,
that you really come into complete the dynamic of that relationship.
Because if you do end up recoupling, it's going to be a different relationship
with that person.
So just keep your focus on yourself and on doing the process
and let go of the outcome.
- Next question is, "What if I'm in a relationship
and I'm just thinking of leaving?"
- I think it's very smart of people to come and to do conscious uncoupling
as preventative medicine.
How can I make sure that this is going to go well so that our family stays intact
or so that they don't devastate the other person?
And you're going to get some really good tools about how to keep things on track
to do this in a mindful, kind, and respectful way.
- And finally, "How is the online program different from, say, reading the book?"
- Well, the online program is just not to be compared.
I mean, the opportunity to be with other people, to hear the sound of my voice,
to see me with you every day on-demand and also to be supported by the experts,
the conscious uncoupling experts who are there, it's going to be a completely
different experience and will expedite your healing.
I always recommend doing it in community.
- It's a form of personal healing as well as group therapy.
- Yeah.
- And it's powerful how this process can so transform your life.
So I'm so glad you came into our lives, Katherine.
- Thank you. - Thank you.
And thank you, guys, for joining in.
Thank you all for being part of the Mindvalley community.
I'm so delighted that you could join us today and I know we'll be seeing you
again pretty soon.