[typing]
So your Sim has their ideal house.
They have a garage of awesome,
a living room of awesome,
an entertainment room of awesome,
a freaking bathroom of awesome.
But you know what?
It's lame.
Yep, you need to get off your pasty butt
and go outside and enjoy the fresh air.
Besides, what real fun is there to have inside anyways?
Pffft. Woohoo is so overrated.
Say hello to the newest Sims 3 Stuff Pack:
Outdoor Living Stuff.
Stuff like chairs, hot tubs,
refrigerators and things with uselessly curly metal around them.
Being a Stuff Pack, you'll need The Sims 3 to enjoy the stuff.
Otherwise, you'll just pointlessly stuff the pockets of EA with your money and stuff.
While it may say Outdoor Living on the cover
and the sickeningly springtime-y loading screen,
that's kind of restricting yourself to a box that needn't exist.
You can of course use the stuff anywhere,
but I guess it makes the most sense to use it outside.
Preferably, you should have a well-manicured, attractive, and socially acceptable backyard
to plop all of these random knick-knacks onto.
I don't know what you're going to do if your Sim only has an apartment,
because then you don't have an outdoors to stuff with stuff.
That's fine, you can just play make-believe
and pretend you're not a complete loser with a tiny loft.
To me, the stuff this time around seems to be divided into three main groups:
Kitchen and Dining,
Leisure
and Random Crap.
For Kitchen and Dining, you have a continental vision counter and island,
a sink,
a combination fridge and wine cooler,
a combination oven and stovetop,
a rather large grill,
a bar, barstool,
a dining chair, and a Class-E dining table.
Aren't they clever?
In the Leisure section, you have a love seat
with uselessly curly metal,
an extra-expensive lounge chair
a parasol umbrella thing,
an end table, an easel, a telescope,
a fireplace you can set anywhere,
a fireplace that really should be set into walls,
not one but two fire pits,
which I absolutely do not care for,
a stereo inside of a rock,
and an obnoxiously large monolith of a TV.
You also get some lights:
one that sits on a table,
two that mount on a wall,
one that's a giant friggin' curly metal hell cuboid,
and one that can only hang from the ceiling.
Yeah, well, newsflash:
It also comes with a ridiculous FIVE hot tubs with this pack.
So if your Sim had been craving hot tubs,
but you didn't have the Late Night expansion installed,
I think you're well taken care of now.
And didn't anybody else think this would have been the perfect opportunity
to add a diving board or other pool equipment?
But no, of course not. You still have the same old boring pools
with the same old boring ladders
and maybe a fountain or fourteen, if you're feeling really frisky.
And lastly, you have the Random Crap category.
In here, you get some things that serve no real purpose but easily could have,
if some effort was put into it.
Things like a fountain you can't use,
a serving cart you can't use,
barbecue tools you can't use,
terrariums you can't use,
fruit bowls you can't use,
lemonade you can't use,
and a Soviet Russian gnome who uses YOU!
There's a couple of plants and fences, too,
that are at least *supposed* to be non-interactive.
Although honestly, I expected more plants and stuff like that,
seeing as this is OutDOOR Living Stuff,
but whatever.
Now I know clutter objects have been a part of The Sims 3 from the very beginning,
but this just feels weak to me.
I don't know why, there's just a lot of it.
You get no new trees, rocks, flowers, or anything like that
that would be outdoorsy, you would think.
But, oh, you get a bunch of fake fruit for your fake life
that's so fake, you can't even fake eating it.
You may as well just stand there and direct your farts towards the stuff
because then at least you'll be doing something with it.
[fart]
You also get the typically negligible amount of new clothing options
in both casual and somewhat dressy styles
for both men and women.
It's nothing I find that attractive or appealing at all.
In fact, it's some of the most bland clothing I've seen in the game so far.
I guess if you really want to make yourself look like Mr. Rogers, then go right ahead.
Whatever. I'll just stick to the clothes I've made myself.
Like the official LGR t-shirt,
now available for free download for The Sims 3.
No substitutions, exchanges, or refunds.
The link is in the video description below.
There might be some little item or two that I missed out entirely,
but honestly, I have no real way to tell for sure,
because guess what?
There's no manual included at all anymore.
Not in the box. Not on the disc that I could find. Nothing.
Just a couple ads and a slip telling you
how to install the game and make a warranty claim.
Freaking stupid. I like my manuals.
Cheap and black-and-white is better than nothing.
What am I supposed to do when I'm taking a dump now, EA?
Alright, well is The Sims 3: Outdoor Living Stuff worth buying?
As always, the suggested price is $19.99,
so you're paying a little bit less than what you would pay
for a similar amount of downloadable stuff
from EA's Sims 3 store online.
And considering you get a stripped-to-the-bone plastic package with a disc in it and nothing more,
they may as well just release this digital only
and forego the retail version entirely.
Plus the content is really just a pile of random stuff
that may or may not appeal to you at all.
Personally, I find this Stuff Pack to be somewhat of a loser.
It's more of the same and it's nothing your Sims don't already have in another form.
So honestly, unless you just don't have the Late Night expansion
and really want hot tubs,
or you just can't live without some lemonade that you can't drink,
I have no reason to recommend this one.
[easy-listening jazz music]