- You're telling me there's not like a little baby fish
or organism in here somewhere? - I hope so.
- Mmm, I think it's good. (Carlos laughs)
Really?
- I wanna know what it feels like to poop like a champion.
- (PvF) I hope you brought your appetite,
because today we are trying some weird Amazon food products.
- Okay, I'm so excited. This is great, I'm ready, let's do it.
- I'm sold! - Absolutely.
- (PvF) Alright, you ready for something sweet?
- Yeah. - What, ooh!
- Anything, hit me.
- Oh! - Lobster candy?
- Lobster candy, individually wrapped, ladies and gentlemen.
- World's finest crustacean confection.
- Briny, sweet, tasty, buttery! - I'm excited to try it, I don't care.
- It's buttery too?
- (PvF) This is a lobster with butter flavored candy.
- I feel like it's gonna mostly taste like butter and salt.
- Look at all these. Look at all these.
- Oh.
- Oh, it smells like a lobster bisque.
- It does smell like...
- It smells like lobster! - Yeah!
- Does it smell like lobster?
- You can tell, it's like a little fishy.
- Ooh. (laughs) - Cheers.
- I love lobster, but that, that hit me different.
- I want that briny, buttery taste in my mouth.
- Mmm, I think it's good.
(Carlos laughs) Really?
- I don't like it, it's so gross!
- Whoa, whoa! (laughs) - Mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm.
- Yeah. - Oh.
- It tastes like I'm taking the shell of the lobster
and like sucking on it. (laughs)
- Whoa. (laughs) Oh my God.
- It's like shocking how much it tastes like lobster and butter.
- (George) No! - Yo!
- That's disgusting. That is foul.
- I'm impressed, but also really confused.
- Yeah.
- I'm gonna tell you right now, that's different.
- I think it's good.
I think it's like kinda sweet, a little salty.
- Something the world doesn't need,
but it is cool know that people out there can do this.
- Yeah. (laughs)
- Yeah, let's leave, come on. We gotta go.
- Thank you, it's been great!
- (George) Come, come, come, all the way out of frame.
- (Brian) Oh my God.
- Oh, what?
- Oh, pickled peanuts, they're probably bomb.
- Does that say ass kicking? (laughs)
- Wait, spicy ass what?
Ass kicking, okay! - Pickles?
Oh, spicy! (laughs)
- (PvF) These are Ass Kickin' Spicy Pickle Peanuts
that come with a warning try if you dare.
- That sounds vile. - A warning?
That makes me wanna try it even more. (laughs)
- How are you with spice?
- I'm great with spice, but I'm not a huge fan of peanuts.
- Oh, I love peanuts. I'm okay with spice.
- Look at that donkey kicking up.
- That is a donkey. - She said he-haw!
He-haw!
- Ugh! - Oh my God.
- Hmm, like previous boyfriends. (Brian laughs)
- Might as well just go all in.
- It's not that bad. It's not as bad as I thought.
- Cheers!
- I like spicy food, so this is like nothing.
- It's not even barely spicy.
- A little weaksauce. My ass was not kicked.
- These would be a good bar snack.
- I was just about to say,
I feel like I could eat a whole bowl of those.
- Yeah, these are yummy!
- Mmm, that was good. - I kinda like 'em too.
- Where's the pickle part? - It's very, yeah, I know.
It's very peanutty.
- The spice is definitely there. - Mm-hmm.
- But it just kind of complements the pickliness.
- Exactly.
- And just the nuttiness of the peanut.
- I don't think I'd buy them myself. I don't think I'd waste money on this.
- I would buy those.
(Emily gasps)
- Sea grapes. - Sea what?
- Sea grapes. - Sea grapes?
I've never even heard of sea grapes.
- Cool, so it's like a salad.
- (PvF) So these are organic dehydrated sea grapes.
- Oh, I see it. - Oh, it's...
- (Carlos) Oh, it actually looks kind of cool.
- (Lydon) Yeah.
- They're like sea monkeys!
- Are you giving us sea monkeys to eat?
- Wow, I feel like I have a little aquarium!
- I know! - In my cup.
- It's just like growing.
- Oh, it seems that they're already getting bigger.
- Smell it, it smells like a fish tank.
(both laugh) - Ew!
- I think I'm gonna soak mine for just a little bit longer.
- Mmm, mmm!
- Oh! - Smells okay.
- Cheers! Ding.
- They are salty.
- It like kinda pops, right?
- I actually really like that texture.
- And they like pop.
- Ooh! - They're little bulbs.
- It's like salty boba.
- Oh my God! - Right?
- This totally tastes like caviar.
- The taste is kinda eh,
but the texture makes it really worth it.
- Just melts in your mouth.
- This is an entirely new experience that I would tell you about.
- You're telling me there's not like a little baby fish
or organism in here somewhere? - I hope so!
(PvF grunts) - What's this?
- Is this powdered milk? What is it?
- Butter powder. - It's butter?
I was close! (laughs)
- Butter powder, what? (Emily laughs)
- (PvF) Butter powder is made from actual butter,
non-fat milk solids, milk protein and anti-caking additive.
This product is shelf-stable for 10 years.
- 10 years? This is a decade of butter?
- Oh! - It's for like doomsday preppers.
- It kinda smells like cake powder?
- It smells like really nasty butter.
- It tastes like a biscuit.
- It kinda tastes like cake batter, but like not sweet.
- Like biscuit powder.
- There you go, that's exactly what it tastes like, biscuit powder.
- Like if you've ever had the powdered popcorn butter,
that's what this, I mean, that's probably exactly what this is.
- It's very yummy. - It's tasty.
- Yeah, it's really tasty.
- But you could tell that it's like butter. (laughs)
So we mix it with water.
- Oh wow, this is difficult to dissolve.
That is butter-ish. (laughs)
- Okay.
- (gags) It's something.
- Mm-mm.
- I will say it was nicer when I didn't put it in the water.
- (PvF) Does it taste like butter?
- No. (laughs)
- I think preferred it dry too.
- Ah, see, I told you. Food storage, emergencies,
every day food, eggs and dairy, food storage, emergencies.
♪ (upbeat music) ♪ Every day food, eggs and dairy,
food storage, emergency, every day food, eggs and dairy.
Food storage, emergencies, every day food, eggs and dairy.
Amazing.
- That's regular milk, I think.
- Cereal?
- Does that say poop like a champion? (laughs)
- (PvF) So and finally, we have Poop Like A Champion cereal.
Enjoy the poo-phoria. Be a master of your movements.
- Poop like a champion. (laughs)
- Poop like a champion and what, pee like a bee?
- Are you sure it's safe for us to do it here?
- I know, are you sure? - Now?
- Oh, it looks like hamster food, kind of. (laughs)
- Yeah.
- It kinda smells like, not gonna lie, like dog food or something.
- Honestly, I really appreciate you,
'cause I'm definitely gonna try to have sex tonight,
so this will help me once I go home.
- I wanna know what it feels like to poop like a champion.
- If I'm gonna be honest...
- I think I've been doing it wrong my whole life.
- I am like a pretty scheduled guy. (Emily laughs)
- This can't taste good.
- One serving of Poop Like A Champion
contains 79% of your daily fiber.
- I feel like I'm gonna like it though.
- This is really good for your bowel movements, I'm sure.
- I was gonna say, don't you pour too much,
'cause I gotta get back on the freeway after this. (laughs)
- Let's just say you really needed help
pushing things down... - Yeah!
- You don't wanna go to a grocery store.
- Mm-mm. - You don't wanna go to Whole Foods.
- You don't wanna ask anyone. - And grab that from the aisle, right?
You wanna secretly buy it from Amazon.
- It's not that bad. - Yeah.
I figured I would like it. I think it's pretty good.
(Matthew laughs)
- Oh, these are fine. There are like giraffe crackers.
I love giraffe crackers, bye! - Giraffe crackers?
- What's a giraffe cracker? You mean like animal crackers?
- (PvF) Is that what a giraffe cracker is?
- No, giraffe crackers are the ones you can feed giraffes at zoos.
Multigrain crackers.
I used to eat them and not feed the giraffes, sorry.
(Brian laughs)
That's why my neck's so long.
- I'm gonna be honest. Yesterday, I had a massive [censored].
And I'm just, I wonder if this is gonna be even crazier.
- These are hella gross.
- I don't mind them. - Mm-mm!
- Mm-mm, I think coffee has more effects for me.
- Right? - Uh-huh.
- Like this is too much work.
- It's like chewing through a cardboard box.
- I hope it's one of those easy, like not trying to be gross,
those easy [censored] where it's just like one and done,
and like, that's it. - Yeah, you barely even have to wipe.
- This is basically just like a cracker and milk.
- That's why I don't like it.
- (PvF) Will either of you guys give us an update later?
(Emily laughs)
- Oh yeah, absolutely.
- (narrator) Two hours later.
- Hey guys, Matthew here.
- (laughs) Huh.
- Hey guys, it's Emily here to tell you that
I did not poop like a champion.
- The one and only thought that you guys need to hear
about the Poop Like A Champion Cereal...
- At first, I thought I heard noises coming from my stomach,
but when I got to the toilet, it turns out that
it was just a false alarm.
- It works.
This is a bathroom, just know it works, okay?
- You get it, alright? Alright, I'm out.
- So not a champion.
- Thank you guys so much for watching.
- What do you guys think of these wild Amazon products?
- Let us know in the comments below.
- And be sure to like and subscribe to People Vs Food.
- Bye! - Bye, stay safe!
- Bye guys! - Bye!
- Get off Amazon, go outside.
- Bye!
- I think I gotta take a [censored]. - Me too.
(both laugh)