They say mustard retards pimples.
[screaming]
[growling]
Um...
Whatcha got there?
It's a smoothie.
[growling]
I think she meant the gigantic bird.
Oh, this is Marvin.
He's an ostrich. I just bought him.
Your magic meatball told you to?
Yes.
[ringing]
Hey, would you get that? Marvin wants some root beer.
If you are not in this class, then leave.
Yeah! Yeah, you heard the man!
Go on. Get out.
Scoochie scoochie. [laughing]
Hey.
You too, Trina.
But I'd look so good next to Johnny Depp in a movie.
Please, Dale.
Tori, can you make your sister leave?
Trina, stop embarrassing me, or I'm gonna embarrass you.
Don't threaten me.
When Trina was six, our family went to the mall
- just before Christmas- - Don't say it!
- and she peed... - Tori!
- on Santa Claus.
[whimpering]
Thank you, Tori. Dale?
Alright, what were we talking about?
In all fairness, I did have a bladder infection.
Go!
Hey!
I thought you might show up here.
- Oh, my god. - Yeah.
- What are you doing? - Protecting you!
- Do you know this guy? - That's Spencer!
Huh? Oh.
Oh, yeah, it's me. See? Ah!
Ow! Man, I think I used too much glue.
Why are you wearing that disguise?
So no one will notice me!
[yelling]
Howdy.
Um, good morning.
When did you start working here?
- Um, today. - Oh.
Oh. You in the union?
Oh, shoosh, yeah!
Way in the union.
How come I haven't seen you at the meetings?
Hey, stop! Fake janitor!
What are you doing here, huh?
I didn't do anything to you!
I think people are noticing you.
[yelling]
Is that really helping anything?
They say mustard retards pimples.
[ringing]
Oh, god, people!
[yelling]
I need to show you how this works
in case there's ever a fire
and I'm not home.
Alright. Show me.
See that paper cup right there?
I see the cup.
Imagine I'm not home and that cup is on fire.
You don't just go,
"Oh, I'm a young girl at home and there's a fire!
Ahh! Now, what do I do?"
[whimpering]
Nope. You just pull this thingy,
point the nozzle suchly,
and calmly squeeze this metal trigger!
Oh, my god!
...is on fire! A cup on fire!
Oh, what do we do? What do we do?
[screeching]
And then you just put the extinguisher
back in its wall bracket.
Guess what?
You know what? I really don't wanna guess what-
[shushing]
OK. Wanko's Warehouse is having a huge sale.
Eighty percent off everything.
- Everything? - Yep.
Clothes, phones, TV's, games, food, shampoos, shovels--
- Unitards? - Yes!
Yes!
Hey, what are we talking about?
Trina was just telling me--
[yelling]
It's a secret!
Ow! Why are you wearing so many rings?
- Your chili fries. - 'Bout time.
- Really? - Oh, god, those look good.
Ow! What the hey?
You said you didn't want chili fries.
Yeah, 'cause I thought my nachos
were gonna come out at the same time.
You can't change your mind!
These are for us.
You guys...
are so mean
and boring!
Well, you're childish.
I am not!
[splashing]
Mmm. Good chili fries.
Carly!
[yelling]
- What? - I don't like those guys!
Just give 'em a chance to--
No! They're dull and unfun
and they talk about politics, and taxes, and live theater,
and I hate them!
But you need friends your own age.
I do not!
Aw, come here.
Come here, baby.
It's OK.
- It's OK. - Yeah.
Almost there.
Here we go. One second.
OK, here we go-
Oh! Oh, I am sorry!
I didn't mean to do that!
Come on, Trina, you gotta give me some help here.
Now, let's just get you on the couch.
No, I gotta get my wisdom teeth taken out.
Your wisdom teeth are already out.
Now, get on the couch!
[groaning]
No! I want my bed!
Your bed is upstairs.
Take me to my bed!
Alright! Alright.
OK, come on. Here we go.
Going to your bed.
Stairs. One, two, and we're good. Alright.
One second. One second.
[groaning]
Here go. Going up the stairs, come on.
OK. Up the stairs.
- Ah! - Oh! Oh!
Nice and easy! Atta girl!
[grunting]
Almost there!
OK! Atta girl!
Fire up the stink hose.
Releasing the stink.
Hey! What is that stuff?
[gagging]
Ack! It smells terrible!
Oh, my god, that smells horrible!
It smells like--
[mouthing]
Oh, ooh, there you go.
Get the scalp!
[snorting]
Tissue.
[blowing]
Check the color.
Why?
The doctor says if it's a greenish yellow color,
then I should probably start to think about
taking some antibio-
What are you doing? Tori! You're pushing! Tori!
Yo, yo, yo!
Tell the iCarly viewers about your latest masterpiece.
OK. So, the other night, I'm watching this TV show
about building houses, right?
And this one guy asked this other guy
which he likes better, a nail gun or a hammer?
And the guy goes, "Personally, I'm a fan of hammers."
And when he said that it inspired me to build this.
A fan of hammers!
Sam, hit that button.
Thank you!
I understand your excitement.
Hey, check this out. It actually works.
[revving]
[rumbling]
- Alright! - Fantastic!
[whirring]
- Uh... - Is it supposed to do that?
Uh, no, not really, no.
Hit the floor!
[clanking]
It needs to be adjusted.
Ugh! Trina! That hit my tongue!
[babbling]
You just toe poked me in the eye!
- Trina! Stop it! - Hey, what's your problem?
If you don't want me to shave my legs...
you do it!
- No! - Then give it back
and I'll do it.
Keep your eyes on the road! I'll do it!
[huffing]
Oh, oh. OK. Uh, watch out for that sore.
[sighing]
This could not get worse.
And when you're done with that leg, just uh-
Here, here, OK.
Can you get my pit?
Alright.
[groaning]
It got worse.
C'mon.