- LET'S TALK ABOUT "NAKED AND AFRAID."
THIS IS A SHOW--
HAVE YOU SEEN "NAKED AND AFRAID"?
HAVE YOU HEARD OF "NAKED AND AFRAID"?
- BEST. IT'S THE BEST.
- IT'S PEOPLE THAT ARE NAKED
AND THEY'RE JUST DROPPED OFF IN THE WILDERNESS.
- TERRIFIED.
- AND THEY'RE STRANGERS, AND THEY HAVE TO SURVIVE.
- FOR 21 DAYS.
AND IT'S A MAN AND A WOMAN.
AND IT'S IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE.
AND MY FAVORITE THING ABOUT THE SHOW
IS THAT THEY--
BECAUSE IT'S IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE,
THEY ALWAYS HIRE A LOCAL
TO DROP THEM OFF.
AND IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT,
THIS LOCAL WHO'S DRIVING THE BOAT OR THE TRUCK
IS TAKING SOMEONE TO THEIR DESTINATION,
AND THEN THEY WATCH THIS AMERICAN GET OUT
OF THE TRUCK OR BOAT,
TAKE IT ALL OFF,
THROW THEIR SANDALS BACK IN THE TRUCK,
AND THEN THEY JUST WALK AWAY.
AND THE LOCAL MUST BE LIKE,
"AMERICAN TELEVISION?"
LIKE, WHAT'S GOING ON IN THAT GUY'S HEAD?
THAT'S MY FAVORITE PART OF THE SHOW,
LOOKING AT THE BOAT DRIVER GOING...
AS THEY'RE GETTING NAKED.
- I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND THE CAMERAMAN,
THE--ANYTHING.
AND THERE ARE TESTS THAT YOU CAN TAKE
TO SEE IF YOU WOULD SURVIVE, RIGHT?
- IT'S CALLED YOUR PSR, YOUR PRIMITIVE SURVIVAL RATING.
- AND HAVE YOU TAKEN THE TEST?
- OF COURSE.
- AND WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE TO YOU?
- I CAME OUT PRETTY GOOD.
I THINK THE ONLINE ONES HAVE BEEN EASIER,
BUT I CAME OUT TO A 7.1.
I WAS PRETTY PROUD OF MYSELF.
- OUT OF 10? - OUT OF 10, YEAH.
- WHAT ABOUT DAX?
- HE CAME OUT TO, LIKE...
A 7.8 OR SOMETHING.
HE WAS A LITTLE HIGHER.
- SO YOU BOTH WOULD BE GOOD ON THAT.
- WE WOULDN'T BE DEAD.
- UH-HUH. - I DON'T THINK.
BECAUSE THEY'RE ALWAYS ON THE VERGE OF DEATH.
I MEAN, THESE SHOWS ARE NOT A JOKE.
YOU WATCH--AND THE OTHER THING ABOUT IT,
YOU WATCH THESE PEOPLE GO INSANE.
- WELL, YES.
- YOU WATCH THEM GO CLINICALLY INSANE
'CAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE ENOUGH FOOD OR WATER,
AND THEY'RE FIGHTING AND IT'S JUST--
- WELL, THERE'S SNAKES.
THEY'RE NAKED AND AFRAID.
- AND THEY'RE AFRAID, YEAH.
IT'S A HECK OF A SHOW.
HECK OF A SHOW.
- WELL, WE'RE GONNA PUT YOU INTO A SURVIVAL TEST
TO SEE IF YOU WOULD BE ABLE TO MAKE FIRE
AND MAKE SHELTER FOR YOURSELF
AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF WITH OBSTACLES.
I'LL PUT MY MONEY WHERE MY MOUTH IS.
- ALL RIGHT, GO GET NAKED. WE'LL BE BACK.
LET'S BRING OUT KRISTEN BELL.
[cheers and applause]
ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT, SO WE HAVE A LITTLE SET OVER THERE,
AND ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IN 60 SECONDS IS,
YOU HAVE TO BUILD FIRE AND MAKE SHELTER
IN 60 SECONDS.
AND I'M GONNA CREATE SORT OF WHAT WEATHER
MIGHT BE LIKE ON AN ISLAND.
- OKAY.
- 'CAUSE SOMETIMES IT'S WINDY,
SOMETIMES IT RAINS,
AND SOMETIMES THERE'S HORRIBLE WILD ANIMALS
AND STUFF LIKE THAT, ALL RIGHT?
- THAT'S TRUE. THAT'S TRUE.
- SO LET'S GO OVER,
YOU'RE NAKED AND YOU'LL BE AFRAID IN A MINUTE.
- ALL RIGHT, DO I DISROBE NOW?
- YOU CAN DISROBE RIGHT WHEN YOU GET OVER THERE
TO THE SET.
- OKAY. - LOOK, THERE'S A SLOTH.
- OH, HEY. - LOOK AT HOW ADORABLE--
- OH, HEY, LITTLE BUDDY.
- HELLO, LITTLE BUDDY.
- YES? - SURE.
- AND THEN-- - 60 SECONDS.
ALL RIGHT.
[cheers and applause]
- NOW CUT TO THE GUY WHO DROPPED ME OFF GOING...
- [laughs]
- OKAY, HOW DO I ENTER?
- WE'LL CUT TO HIM. OVER THERE.
- OKAY, I CAN DO THIS, GUYS.
- 60 SECONDS.
FIRE, THEN SHELTER.
- OKAY. - GO.
- OKAY, GOT TO FIND SOME KINDLE.
OH, GOD!
[screams]
WAIT, WAIT.
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
HOW CAN I LIGHT IT? HOW CAN I LIGHT IT?
WHOA!
HOW CAN I LIGHT IT?
- THIS IS REALLY SAD.
I HAVE NOTHING TO--
- HOLD ON, HOLD ON.
OOH, OOH, WE HAVE FIRE. WE HAVE FIRE.
[speaking indistinctly]
AND BUILD A SHELTER.
NOW I GOT TO BUILD A SHELTER.
OKAY.
NICE.
[grunts indistinctly]
WHAT'S MY TIME? WHAT'S MY TIME?
- 10 SECONDS LEFT!
5, 4, 3,
2...
[alarm buzzes]
[bear growling]
THAT--
- DID I WIN?
- YES.
[cheers and applause]
THAT WAS SO PATHETIC.
- YEAH, IT WASN'T GREAT.
- AND THE BEAR CAME IN WHEN THE WHOLE THING WAS OVER.
THE WHOLE THING WAS REALLY SAD.
BUT I GOT YOU A GIFT
SO THAT YOU AND DAX AND LINCOLN CAN WATCH TOGETHER.
AND YOU HAVE A LITTLE OUTFIT FOR...
- [gasps]
- THAT'S FOR DAX.
- [laughs]
- THAT'S FOR YOU.
- OH, MY...
- CAREFUL OF BEARS, THOUGH, BECAUSE--
- [growls] - [screams]
- OKAY.
OKAY.
YOU WOULD NOT DO VERY WELL
BECAUSE THAT WAS REALLY PATHETIC,
THAT THAT SCARED YOU.
- THAT REALLY DID SCARE ME.
- I KNOW, OKAY, SO DON'T DO THE SHOW.
ALL RIGHT, SO YOU'LL BE WEARING THESE
WITH THE PAINTING IN YOUR HOUSE,
AND WE'RE MAKING YOUR FAMILY VERY WEIRD.