are you a social self-preservation or one-to-one enneagram eight by the end of this video you
should know what your dominant instinct is and that is what we would call a subtype
each of us have three instincts ingrained in us and honestly these three instincts
they are needed for our survival but before we get started don't forget to push that subscribe
button because this is a series and not only is it important for you to know and understand
your own subtype it's also important for you to learn the people in your life's dominant
instinct which would be their subtype i'll tell you why this is so important later in the video
so let's start with what are those three instincts the first one is self-preservation
and we would label that an sp this instinct keeps us safe helps us with our well-being our health
this instinct has a need to avoid danger they even might need to make sure they have enough money
resources clothing stuff like that that's what the self-preservation instinct is the second instinct
is known as the social instinct which that would be known as the s o this helps us be aware of
other people community is important they want to have a very positive impact with other people
they're super aware of how their actions and attitudes affect others and so that's what this
social instinct brings to them the third is known as the sexual um that would be s x but that's also
known as the one to one and you probably saw in the thumbnail i just have it listed as one to one
apparently you can't put sexual in a thumbnail um it would get flagged so that's why i just have it
listed as one to one this instinct is super aware of the chemistry between them and another person
and it doesn't mean like someone they're gonna marry or because all the types you know we all
kind of have that instinct of finding that person this instinct is just the chemistry with just one
other person a friend someone in the room deep relationships are life giving to them so it could
be like i said anyone in their life that deep relationship that is what their first instinct
seeks out and this one has the most energy of all three instincts so we do have all three instincts
just one is dominant and we learned to mostly rely on this instinct in childhood for survival and so
it's very well developed the second instinct it's one that you do use um especially if the
first one is not gonna help then you'll go to that second instinct but it's not your first instinct
if that makes sense and so for me personally i would list myself as an enneagram nine s
o slash s p because i use social first and then i use self preservation second and then the third
one is usually your blind spot so the one that you either don't know how to use haven't had to use or
just blind to it all together and the cool thing about knowing your dominant instinct it helps you
to understand why things trigger you why does that bother you why do you need that what why
does that make you happy why do you need to have certain ducks in a row in order to feel okay and
different things like that why do things make you mad and and everything so this instinct it really
helps you to feel safer and maybe even secure and it'll bring you joy sometimes so relationships can
be better and easier if you learn each other's instincts and that's what i was talking about
at the beginning of this video why it's important not only to learn your own instincts but to learn
the instincts of the people in your life so for example if you have a partner or somebody
in your life that's a self-preservation instinct first right and you're a social instinct first
and you walk into a room and your first instinct is to make sure everybody's okay how's everybody
doing you're more about the community and the group you don't have to be the center of
attention don't get me wrong but it's just almost like your your survival instinct of going in and
the group's needs are really important to you but your partner's first instinct is self-preservation
and so their first instinct when they walk in a room is more you know what is the temperature in
the room where's the food at do they need any help with the food i don't know anything like
um in regards to that kind of stuff would be their first instinct when they walk into a room and i'm
i'm saying if there it's a room full of people and if you know this about each other you'll begin to
accept that it's okay that this person didn't walk in and just want to care about the whole group
first too it helps you to accept them better and and almost like release them from having to show
up the way you do to a situation you understand that's just not their first instinct so the bottom
line is it's important for you to learn about your dominant instinct and the other two because we
want to bring them into balance we believe that knowing all three bringing all three to balance
using all three is the healthiest way to do it and before we get started into the subtypes of
the eight i want to recognize that you might have landed on this video and you don't even know what
a challenger is i will link a video down below that will help you understand what a type 8 even
is before you get into the subtypes because it's important to know um the core values and desires
and fears and weaknesses and everything of the type 8 especially if you're wondering if you
are a type 8 first and then you go to this video and learn about the subtypes next okay so let's
start with a self-preservation type eight so this subtype powerfully pursues the things they need
in order to survive they don't talk as much as the other two subtypes and they especially don't
reveal as much as the other two subtypes would they do not bother with pretenses they are the
not no nonsense subtype this one is strong direct powerful energetic productive they're super great
at bargaining they usually get what they want and they can be mistyped as a five and that is because
they have this quiet strength about them this subtype they do not want to rely on anyone else
they just want to rely on themselves and they will be the ones that are focused on financial
independence they only want to rely on themselves they don't like i said they don't want to rely on
anyone else so let's move on to the social aid and this one is the counter type and what that
means is of the three subtypes of the type eight this one does not resemble a type eight maybe it
just doesn't look like the the normal stereotype that the type eight can have this 8 is more loyal
less aggressive which is one of the things that makes it the counter type they are the helpful
eights they are nurturing protective and helpful this subtype they're gonna be way more mellow
less quick to anger than the other aids just softer and calmer and they love projects they are
constantly needing to be in action they love to do lists they love making them they love
crossing things out they're constantly needing to do everything on their to-do list and to be
honest this subtype can actually think there are two sometimes because they might not identify with
the anger of the eight or the need to dominate here's an important thing about this one
mel type aids male social type 8 can actually look like type nines which is interesting because my
husband is a social eight and we did a marriage video a while back like about six months ago and
actually i don't even really know once we did it um don't quote me on that but we did this marriage
video on what it's like for a type nine to be married to a type eight and what surprised me
was some of the comments a lot of there was some comments that said oh no your husband's a type
nine and you're a type a and and stuff like that and i was like wait what like that doesn't
even make sense but i knew he was a social type eight and they can look like a type nine at times
but at the core of him um his core weakness desire uh fear longing he resonates so much with those
eight um with all the things in the eight so we know he's a social a but it can be a common um
misunderstanding that the social eight can look like a nine sometimes or two and the way to know
the difference is the eight they're gonna act in a more direct powerful way willing to engage in
conflict if they need to and they will express more power and control in situations where they
are protecting and supporting other people and so that's how to know um they're definitely a type
eight social okay so the last one of the three instincts would be the sexual eight also known as
the one to one this subtype is the most rebellious of all three of the subtypes and they are also the
most emotional of all of the three subtypes in childhood some sexual aids experienced a lack of
affection from one or both of their parents this can cause them to want to rebel against authority
because of that this one they have a need for dominance power over others they definitely
don't want to lose control over anything or anyone they feel things really deeply and this could be
so amazing for a great relationship but it also can be an issue if the relationship isn't going
very well and this subtype they have this intense passion and zest for life and the last thing with
the sexual aids is they are so genuine in their care for others and people tend to feel super safe
and protected in their presence and so that's a great thing about the sexual aids so anyways
that's all three instincts and if you're type eight going oh i really really resonated with the
social well then you're a type eight social and then you're like oh and i also resonated with
the self press but i really feel like i show up social first well then you would be a type eight
s o slash s p and then more than likely the s x is your blind spot so like i said though
learn about all three it's important to learn about all three it's important to use all three
these are all good instincts to use and we need all three so bring them into balance
and if you want to learn more about the type 8 subtypes so there's 27 subtypes in all right so
every type has three subtypes if you want to learn more i have a great book for you um it's called
the complete enneagram i don't know if you can see this i'm never good at actually showing it
on the camera it's called the complete enneagram it's 21 it's 27 paths to greater self-knowledge
it's by beatrice chestnut i will link this down below for if you want to purchase it so it's a
great book it goes so much more in depth into the subtypes of the of all types so anyways that's all
i have for today guys if you want to follow me on social media i'm @hillary_mccaskey_coaching
and i also have an instagram instagram account and that one is called @enneagramandcoaching i'll link
both of those down below if you want to go find me and then also if you still by the end of this um
are confused at your type or your subtype or even your wings or anything like that and you want help
i do offer a discover you typing session it's one hour over zoom face time i think the sun is coming
out it's been a cloudy day so the lighting might be changing but anyways it's over zoom facetime um
what's another one i don't know any of those it's a one hour session with me and we should be able
to land on your type your subtype and your wings by the end of it so i will link that information
down below and last thing is don't forget to subscribe and like the video i really appreciate
you guys i appreciate that you watch these i appreciate that you want to learn more about
yourself and others in your life you want to have more grace you want to have more understanding
and love for each other and that's why i do this so that's all i have until next time bye
guys