-Here's the fun letter from Aetna
where they deny our fertility coverage.
-Mm-hmm.
-The cost of fertility for us has been at least $40K.
-Yeah. -That's really helpful
because everyone just says, "You'll know," and, like...
-Yeah. -Can you describe that?
-How, yeah?
I think that the fertility industry --
there's a bit of taking advantage of the patients
because it is something that people
aren't going to speak up about,
and so the costs are just exorbitant.
-$1,117.
-$9,500.
-And then again, $791.
-Every month that goes by
that we were not starting the family that we wanted,
it was all-consuming.
-And it felt like I was walking around being, like,
"Where's our baby?"
-I'm Melanie. -I'm Ketch.
-And we are $50,000 in debt from fertility and baby costs.
[ Sonogram pulsing ]
♪♪
-Come on. -Oh, my God.
-I feel triumphant.
This rug was a big milestone. -Yeah.
We met in Philadelphia in our early 20s,
and we dated for like 2 1/2 years
before we got married because we're just in it.
-Yeah.
♪♪
We had went back and forth when we were younger
about whether we wanted to be parents,
and it always felt really unattainable,
especially with, like, having student loan debt, surgery debt.
We moved together to Rome, Italy, in 2016.
♪♪
We lived there for about 2 years.
While we were there, we really figured out, like,
we want to have a family.
-You're cute. -Thank you.
I love you. -I love you, too.
♪♪
-Once we wanted it, it felt so intense
and consuming and urgent
and just, like, all we could think about.
[ Dog panting ]
Alright! -We thought,
"We'll just need to do IUIs," which is less involved than IVF.
-IUIs were $400 per IUI,
plus the sperm which was like $1,000 per IUI.
Nothing is covered by insurance, and...
-Some insurances will cover it, but ours didn't.
-We called to enroll in the infertility program
to try and get coverage, and they denied us.
-Because I'm medically a man to them,
but because I can't provide a semen sample
because I'm trans,
we can't qualify for infertility.
♪♪
-It's a super emotional journey.
You feel defeated.
It feels hopeless.
Every IUI that didn't work
was like watching me have a $2,000 period.
-One of the lowest points
in the process of trying to get pregnant
was when we were trying to decide
if we were going to do IVF
because it felt like we were saddling ourselves
with a debt that was insurmountable.
-And it just got to the point where I was like,
"I just can't have every month be
such an emotional roller coaster.
I just want to do one more.
Whatever it costs, like, let's just do it."
-We've compiled all of the costs that we've incurred
doing all of our fertility fun.
Going down the list, for example...
[ Chuckles ]
...sperm -- $851, again -- $1,117,
labs -- $130, labs -- $155.
We don't even know what these are for half the time.
Every step of IVF also has a cost,
so, like, preparation of frozen sperm is $500.
Frozen embryo transfer is $4,000.
-Yeah. Egg retrieval -- $9,500.
-IVF cycle -- $9,500,
and it just keeps going and going,
and at the bottom, we find ourselves
at a total of [breathes sharply] five --
$50,372.33.
♪♪
-So after almost 2 years of trying, we did our IVF cycle.
We transferred our embryo on Christmas Eve,
and even though we're, like, atheist and punk,
we love Christmas
because Christmas is, like, glitter and magic.
So we did a pregnancy test,
and we got a really faint positive line.
-That was wild.
♪♪
-"Holy shit. It worked! We're pregnant! Oh, my God!"
It was really exciting.
♪♪
We took out four credit cards totaling $25,000.
It turned out that was the cheapest route,
cheaper than medical loans or anything else,
so we've just been working on paying those down.
I do freelance social media and content work,
so I've just been, like, really hustling
and doing shoots while 30 weeks pregnant.
-And I am a graphic designer and, also, an artist for work.
In addition to working full-time,
every night after work, I'm doing custom artwork.
I then make another $2,000 a month
that I put directly on the cards.
So I started this journal when I opened all the credit cards,
'cause, like, I can't even remember
to log in to some of them.
They're all through different banks."
And right now we're at $13,002.74,
so we've paid off...
$37,369.59 in the past 2 years.
I feel like a big part of, like, being super transparent
about the debt that we're able to take on is,
like, also being super aware of the privilege
that we have to even access, like, a credit line like that.
We're able to take this leap that so many folks can't take.
-Just a little bit of science and...
-A lot of financial adventure. -...debt leads to Chickpea.
-Yeah, a baby. -[ Chuckles ]
♪♪
-This is our nursery.
-So, this is our stroller.
This normally costs, like, $1,700,
but we got it used off of Facebook for $200.
So, this whole basket of clothes...
-Those are all... -...is all hand-me-downs.
A lot of our friends have already had babies before us.
-We also ended up getting donations
from friends and family
that came to about, like, $6,000, which was mind-blowing.
-So that helped.
Ah.
-How you feeling? -I'm okay.
My legs feel really, like, stiff.
-Was she kicking? -She was kicking so much
during the end of the interview, and it felt a little creepy.
-I figured you're going to get there,
and they're going to be like, "You're in labor."
[ Both laugh ]
-There was no way I could have expected
that it would be $25,000 in IVF alone just to get pregnant.
-Yeah, yeah. -It's, like, always up here,
where I'm like, "What are you doing?"
You just have no idea how much these things cost
until you start the process.
-It's been challenging and stressful and painful,
but we're also very privileged to even be in this position.
-Hi.
-Hi, good, how are you? -Good.
-I think our friends understand the decision
to take on the fertility debt
because everybody has been in kind of similar situations
of either taking on grad-school debt or house debt.
I think debt is just a universal millennial experience
at this point.
[ Sonogram pulsing ]
Yay, heartbeat! Yes!
This is the best.
It's so good.
[ Pulsing continues ]
Go, Chickpea, go.
We're getting so close.
Oh.
I don't think we're setting up our kid for failure
by not being, like, super wealthy or anything.
Like, whatever. Like, we have so much love.
It's so crazy that we did all of this stuff,
and the real shit hasn't even happened yet.
♪♪
I think parenthood is going to be really hard and exciting.
-It's okay. It's okay, Button.
-We're really lucky, and we're going to love this kid so much
and give them all the best opportunities
that we possibly can.
Oh, my God.
You're moving so much.
[ Laughter ]
-[ Crying ]
-It's our baby. It's our baby.
Oh, my God. -Did you do it?
-Oh, my God.
Why are you so perfect?
Oh, my God.
I'm going to hold you all day, every day.
♪♪
Hi, Boo-boo.
Hi, Button.
You're so cute!
-Oh, my God.
You're moving so much.
[ Laughter ]
-[ Crying ]
-It's our baby. It's our baby.
Oh, my God.
-Did you do it? -Oh, my God.
Why are you so perfect?
Oh, my God.
I'm going to hold you all day, every day.
♪♪
-Yeah, yeah.
You want to say something to me?
Yeah, that's what I mean... I mean...
[ Laughter ]