Hey guys
Here I am with Metal Gear V: The Phantom Menace
..Uh oh.
Wake up idiot!
Soldier: Happy birthday, boss!
My birthday was three months ago
Puppy!
How do I pet the pup?
Oh.. ohohoho
When big boss pets you... you stay pet
TAKE THIS YOU PATRIOTS
YOU SONS OF BITCHES
Ow...
Let me redo..
Give me one redo...
[*Chuckles*]
Wait guys let's just fix this
We can fix this guys
I'll be right back
FUCKING LU-LE-LI-LE-LU
FUCKING PATRIOTS
FUCKING RIOT GAMES
FUCK YOU!
WOOO!
That's some badass shit right there
Can't be!
The Oculus Rift!
h-h h- h-h how- how- how y-
How ya- How ya gonna get hit in the head with a box?
Oh.
Check this out man
Look at- h-he takes a little knife out of his vest!
[*Chuckles*]
This is the greatest game
Look at-
[*Laughing*]
Come here boy
He can't pet!
Big boss doesn't know how to pet!
Soldier: Boss! Got time to train with me?
Soldier: Thanks for that, boss!
Get back here!
[*Laughing*] Why does he run like that?
[*Continued laughter*]
Alright, stop whining, I'll get you outta here
Actually.
Watch this... stealth.
[Slowed down] Uh oh....
[Slowed down] Dunkey busted!
Ooh.
You can do that..
Look at this. This is my new move.
Hey!
It's me, Solid Snake!
Um.. hi, I'm a pirate
Uh oh, he's on to it
[*Laughing*]
But which one is the real Solid Snake??
He may never know.
It can't be!
Shadow Moses!
I have to call in air support!
This is the best.
[Music starts]
[*Chuckling*] You can pick what song-
[Cruisin' USA plays]
You can play cruisin' USA for the helicopter music!
What?! They got me with the balloon trick!
You sons of bitches, Shadow Moses!
I know that you're really... the shadow Patriots!
You think you can fool me huh?
Let's blow this thing sky-high, baby!
WOOO!!
I'm outta here you fucking idiots!
See you in hell!
WOOOO!
Uh oh.
Don't shoot!
Don't shoot, don't shoot, don't shoot!
Don't shoot!
Fuckin' bitch!
No no nonononono!
Hah ha haaaaa!
NO NO NO
Radio: Boss, take cover! There's a laser sight trained on your head!
Dunkey: A laser!?!
That's it.
You wanna use a laser, bitch?
Now you gonna make me pull out my best move.
Here it comes...
[*Laughing*]
He's invincible!
He absorbs all my bullets!
But he was killed in Zanzibar!
It can't be!
I-it's...
It's...
SHADOW JESUS
[Huge dramatic music]
This man. Is fucked.
Here it comes.
[*Laughing*]
Look at this kid.
He's a goddamn amateur
Get outta here
You ain't doin' it no more
[Bird falling]
[Thump]
You need this balloon!
Don't worry octagon!
I'll save you!
[Ding]
Actually.
[*Muffled*] Nevermind.
[Smooth jazz]