You wrote this book Yearbook and-
Yeah! And so many,
(audience cheers) That's nice.
Thank you.
There are so many times I read someone's book
and I have to read it,
because I gotta then interview them,
and maybe the book's okay, but it's not something
that I would necessarily talk about a lot.
And then what happens is I get past it in the interview
and I don't really touch on it that much.
I read your book and then you and I did the podcast.
Yeah.
And that's all I could talk about, it was so good.
Thank you, yeah Your book is fantastic.
His book, if you have not read his book.
(audience cheers)
Thank you.
And you have this, so many great stories,
but you wrote about working with Snoop Dogg.
I did.
It's a fantastic story.
Thank you, yeah.
Speaking of weed, I was,
we made a film called This Is the End
around eight years ago.
(audience cheers)
In that film, yeah,
there's a song that Craig Robinson sings called
Take Yo Panties Off,
which I would argue has not aged well. (laughs)
But we thought it would be fun,
if at the end of the movie,
there was a more produced version of the song
that was like a real song.
And then what if Snoop Dogg was
on the song was what we thought.
And we asked Snoop Dogg and he's like,
yeah, I'll be on a song called Take Yo Panties Off.
That doesn't seem like a stretch for Snoop Dogg.
(laughs)
And so we met in the recording booth,
him and Craig were there.
We were all smoking weed.
Snoop had a man who rolled joints for him,
that was his only job.
That was truly,
that was amazing. I can confirm that,
because the times I've been around Snoop,
I have seen that happen.
Yes, he has a man who does that for him.
Like that is a human's job, (laughs)
(audience laughs)
which is honestly like if I wasn't a comedian,
what I would want to do with my life.
(Conan and audience laugh)
And so, he wrote his hook and he was performing.
And then I was like, "You know what would be great, Snoop,
"is if you could sing a verse on the song, a rap verse."
'Cause I'm very cool, that's what I called it.
"Could you sing a rap verse?"
(everyone laughs)
And he was like, "you know,
"I wasn't planning on doing a verse.
"I was just planning on singing the hook."
And I was like, "Oh, it'd be great
"if you could do the verse."
And he kind of puts his head down,
and he's like, "Okay, I'll do it."
And then he looks over at one of his guys,
who's standing by the door and kind of narrows his gaze,
and goes, "Hey, bring in the hoes."
(audience chuckles)
At which point,
a man with a garden hose did not come into the room,
(Seth and audience laugh)
but instead around five women dressed
like strippers came into the room.
(audience oohs)
And they danced, they played the beat,
and they danced around for like 20 minutes
as he wrote a verse on his Blackberry.
And as soon as he was done writing the verse,
he kind of, with a wave of the hand, dismissed the hoes.
(audience laughs)
And it flooded my head with questions.
(audience laughs)
Like the weird thing, he wasn't planning on writing a rap.
(Conan and audience laugh)
So if he needs his army of hoes to appear,
whenever he writes a rap,
does he have the round just in case?
Like, that's what I couldn't believe.
It's like he has an army of muse-hoes
that he buses around in case someone's like,
"Hey, can you write a rap?"
And he's like, "Yeah, bring in the hoes."
"Okay, dance."
(audience laughs)
But that must be very expensive
because not everyone's asking him
to write raps all the time.
Where were they?
I didn't see them before this.
I don't know where he was keeping them.
Hot air balloon.
Yeah, I think they were They travel
in a hot air balloon and,
"He wants us down there, set it down!"
They release the, they come down.
They rappel in every time.
And overall I shouldn't be saying ho is also something that-
I bet he probably, just to make use of them,
he probably does it for emails and stuff.
Yeah, exactly. (laughs)
Two of them come in for an email.
For a tweet, yeah.
For a text, just anyone, "No, okay, go," you know?
But I did, I was actually asked him once, like,
"Why would you do that, with the hoes?"
And he's like, "Gotta make sure it's bumpin'."
(audience laughs)
(applause) That's an answer.
Irrefutable.