- MONDAY WAS MEMORIAL DAY,
WHICH MEANS IT'S THE UNOFFICIAL START OF SUMMER,
WHICH MEANS IT'S TIME FOR YOU
TO PUT AWAY YOUR TURTLENECKS AND TAKE OUT YOUR TUBE TOPS,
AND THEN PUT AWAY YOUR TUBE TOPS,
THROW THEM AWAY, AND GET A SENSIBLE T-SHIRT,
PLEASE.
WHATEVER YOU DECIDE TO WEAR THIS SUMMER,
TRY TO MAKE IT--
DON'T WEAR THINGS THAT YOU'RE GONNA BE LIKE,
"OH, I'M EMBARRASSED,"
THEN OR LATER OR ANYTHING.
AND, PLEASE, IF YOU WEAR SOMETHING EMBARRASSING,
HAVE SOMEONE TAKE A PHOTO AND SEND IT TO ME
SO I CAN SHOW IT
ON TV IN OUR SEGMENT,
"BAD PAID FOR PHOTOS LIVE."
[cheers and applause]
- [singing] YOU KNOW I'M BAD, I'M BAD
YOU KNOW IT
YOU KNOW I'M BAD, I'M BAD
YOU KNOW IT
[cheers and applause]
WHO'S BAD?
- ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT.
IF YOUR PICTURE IS DOWN HERE,
YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
COME ON DOWN.
ALL RIGHTY, LET'S SEE, WHO ARE YOU?
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
- MY NAME'S AMY.
- AMY, HI, AMY.
WHERE DO YOU LIVE? WHAT DO YOU DO?
- I'M FROM SPRINGFIELD, MISSOURI.
- UH-HUH.
- I'M A WIFE AND A STAY-AT-HOME MOM TO EIGHT CRAZY KIDS.
[cheers and applause]
SO TELL US WHAT THIS PICTURE IS.
WHAT HAPPENED HERE?
- THIS IS MY KINDERGARTEN SCHOOL PICTURE...
- OKAY. - IN 1987.
- UH-HUH.
- AND MY MOTHER HAD A LOVE FOR CABBAGE PATCH KIDS...
- RIGHT. - AND MULLETS.
- MM-HMM.
I THINK YOU'VE SAID ENOUGH.
- YES.
- ALL RIGHT, TAKE A LOOK.
- WHOO!
YES!
[cheers and applause]
- WOW.
SO WHAT HAPPENED WAS...
THERE'S THE-- SHE CURLED THIS PART.
- PERMED, NO, PERMED.
- OH, PERMED.
- THIS WAS PROFESSIONALLY DONE.
- OH, THIS WAS ALWAYS LIKE THIS?
- YES.
- SO THERE WAS THE STRAIGHT PART THERE
AND THE PERM PART THERE?
- UH-HUH, YEAH.
- WOW.
I WANT TO SEE, IF YOU DON'T MIND--
DO WE HAVE A WIG SO THAT WE CAN PUT IT ON,
AND THEN WE CAN SEE--
LET'S--ANDY, HELP HER WITH THAT.
- OH, YES.
IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
- ANDY KNOWS HOW TO DO THAT.
LOOK AT THAT.
[cheers and applause]
- THAT'S FANTASTIC.
JUST KEEP THAT ON THE REST OF THE SHOW.
THAT'S GREAT. THANK YOU SO MUCH.
OKAY, AND YOU ARE...
- I'M KAITLIN. - MEGAN.
- OKAY, AND YOU ARE FRIENDS OR--
- FRIENDS. - BEST FRIENDS.
- BEST FRIENDS.
- SINCE WE WERE BABIES.
- SINCE YOU WERE LITTLE, TINY BABIES.
SO HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN THIS WAS TAKEN?
- 10? - 11?
- UH-HUH. AND WHAT WAS IT FOR?
- IT WAS A DANCE RECITAL PICTURE.
- OH, I LOVE THOSE.
DANCE RECITALS ARE GREAT.
- YES.
- ALL RIGHT, SO DANCE RECITAL.
HOW OLD WERE YOU?
- 10 OR 11?
- OKAY, ALL RIGHT.
- I COULD TOTALLY STILL DO THAT.
- WE CAN STILL DO IT.
- CAN YOU STILL DO IT?
- YEAH.
[cheers and applause]
- [laughs]
- EXCELLENT.
[applause]
WE PRACTICED A COUPLE TIMES.
- WOW. I WAS GONNA SAY.
I MEAN, DO YOU DO THAT, LIKE, EVERY WEEK NOW
TO KEEP--
- [laughs]
- SO YOU'RE NOT--
YOU'RE FINE WITH THAT RIGHT THERE.
- YEAH.
- WE PICKED THIS POSE.
- OH, YOU MADE THE POSE UP?
OH, MY GOD.
"SO I'LL BE UPSIDE DOWN WITH MY LEGS SPREAD
"AND YOU JUST PUT YOUR ELBOW
"RIGHT ON MY CROTCH AND JUST LOOK...
LOOK PROUD AND BORED."
- OH, YES. - ALL RIGHT.
WOW, WELL, I APPRECIATE IT VERY, VERY MUCH.
THANKS FOR BRINGING THAT IN.
- [laughs]
- ALL RIGHT, HI, HI.
WHO ARE YOU?
- I'M VALERIE. - HI, VALERIE.
AND WHERE DO YOU LIVE, WHAT DO YOU DO?
- SEAFORD, NEW YORK,
AND I'M A NURSE AT ST. FRANCIS ARRHYTHMIA CENTER.
- GOOD FOR YOU.
THANK YOU FOR BEING A NURSE.
WE LOVE NURSES.
- THANK YOU.
- OKAY, AND WHAT IS HAPPENED HERE?
- 1989. IT'S MY CONFIRMATION.
- MM-HMM.
- AND IN THE '80S, YOU KNOW,
THE BIGGER, THE BETTER.
- SURE.
- AND I THOUGHT I LOOKED FANTASTIC,
AND I WENT TO CHURCH LIKE THIS.
- OH. - [laughs]
[cheers and applause]
THAT'S HOT.
FIVE INCHES.
- FIVE INCHES? - I MEASURED IT.
AND I DID IT MYSELF.
[girl screams]
A LOT OF HAIRSPRAY.
- A LOT OF TEASING GOING ON.
- YES.
- A LOT OF TEASING, A LOT OF HAIRSPRAY,
AND JUST A WISP OF A BANG.
JUST BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT TO HAVE NOTHING THERE
WHEN THIS IS GOING ON.
JUST TO ADD A LITTLE BIT--
THIS LOOKS VERY LIKE YOU REALLY PLACED THOSE.
AND YOU JUST WANTED THE ONE SIDE.
- YEAH, YOU KNOW, NOT TOO MUCH.
- NO.
NO, BECAUSE IT WOULD BE TOO MUCH
TO HAVE THE WHOLE SIDE LIKE THAT.
- 'CAUSE THAT WOULD BE CRAZY.
- YEAH, THAT WOULD BE--
YOU WANT TO BE SUBTLE ABOUT IT.
THAT'S FANTASTIC.
ALL RIGHT, WELL, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING.
THESE ARE WONDERFUL.
AND I WISH WE HAD A WIG FOR YOU TOO.
DO WE HAVE A WIG FOR HER?
- OH, STOP.
[laughs]
NO.
[cheers and applause]
AWESOME.
- THANK YOU SO MUCH.
FOR LETTING ME SHOW YOUR PICTURES,
YOU'RE ALL GOING HOME WITH A 50" INSIGNIA TV
FROM BEST BUY.
[all cheering]
TO SEE MORE FUNNY BAD PAID FOR PHOTOS,
GO TO MY GOOD NEWS PAGE ON YAHOO! SHINE.
AND NOW WE SHALL ALL DANCE.