So after the five course meal,
Barack took me on a personal tour of the entire White House.
[general impressed sounds]
That's not even the best part.
He gave me his personal cell phone number,
said I could hit him up any time
if we wanna like hang out, or if he's in LA,
if I need someone extradited--
and, oh, this is the best one:
I get one free drone strike.
[laughter]
Hey guys, guys--
On a more serious note,
I have some troubling news to share.
Looks like the company profits are going to be lower than we expected this year,
and if things keep going the way they're going,
we will have to file for bankruptcy.
So the first measure we're going to take
is we're going to be suspending everyone's health insurance.
WHAT?!
[general sounds of shock and disapproval]
That's so messed up--
I just -- I had just gotten off my parent's health insurance--
Guys, c'mon.
Keep it down. Um.
The fact of the matter is
is that the YouTube landscape has changed.
It used to be we could make a video of
a cat shooting a machine gun and
we'd get millions of views!
And it was great.
Um... unfortunately, now
short films just aren't relevant anymore.
So let's kick off a brainstorm. Let's think of some ideas...
of things that we can do.
[awkwardly long silence]
Okay. I'll start.
Um...
Pampers is coming out with a new line of adult diapers,
and they want Freddie to star in a tie-in video.
WHAT?! NO! NO!
NO! NO!
I am never wearing a diaper in a video, Cate!
I got it!
A dog fashion show!
And we'll charge for admission!
Dammit that was my idea!
Let's keep thinking.
Oh, I got it.
A cat fashion show.
[enthusiastic sounds of agreement, brainstorming]
You know, like a...
catwalk.
OOOOH!!!
[over the top enthusiasm]
Hey, everybody!
Guys, hey--
let's think of a few ideas that don't have animals in them.
Ooh, I got it!
How 'bout I wrestle everyone in the office
WWE-style and then we livestream it.
Benji, I love your enthusiasm,
but I don't think that--
We could get a Japanese mascot.
A what?
Mascots single-handedly saved the Japanese economy from the recession.
You can use mascots for prisons, for sports teams,
for the government.
You know, you can get a mascot for anything.
[typing sounds]
In fact,
we can buy one online write here on this website.
It seems like a really good idea to me, guys.
I dunno, I feel like getting a mascot's, like...
I don't know, sellout-y. Am I the only one?
It's a billion dollar industry, Freddie. It's a foolproof plan.
We're doing it.
We're buying it. Sorry, Kevin, I'm in.
How long's it take this thing to ship.
[whispers] Maybe it's one of those Pokey-man things...
[anticipatory whispers]
Well what are we all waiting for? Let's just open it!
[tearing paper sounds]
[suspenseful, rising tone plays]
[cheers, applause, cheerful music begins]
♪ チキブー! ♪ (ChickyBoo!)
♪ ひよこ～ チキ♪ (It's a chick! Chicky!)
♪ チキブー! ♪ (ChickyBoo!)
♪ 生れたて ♪ (Newly-born)
♪ チキブー! ♪ (ChickyBoo!)
♪ 青い ♪ (A blue)
♪ 帽子 ♪ (shell hat)
♪ かわいい もちもち お尻 ♪ (A cute bouncy bottom)
♪丸い♪ (A round)
♪お腹♪ (tummy)
♪ みんなのチキブー! ♪ (It's everyone's ChickyBoo!)
♪負け~そうな時は♪ (When you feel like giving up)
♪君の味方がよ♪ (ChickyBoo will be there for you)
♪泣きそうな時は♪ (And when you feel like crying)
♪笑顔にしてあげる♪ (ChickyBoo will give you a smile!)
チキチキ、ぱたぱた、くろたまGO! (Chicky Chicky, Flappy Flappy, look in its eyes and GO!)
♪朝も♪ (In the morning)
♪夜も♪ (In the evening)
雨も、嵐でも (In the rain, even in a storm)
♪いつも♪ (Always so)
♪元気♪ (happy!)
♪ みんなのチキブー! ♪ (It's everyone's ChickyBoo!)
♪ チキブー! ♪ (ChickyBoo!)
♪ ひよこ～ チキ♪ (It's a chick! Chicky!)
♪ チキブー! ♪ (ChickyBoo!)
♪ チキブー I love you!! ♪ (ChickyBoo, I love you!)
チキ！ (Chicky!)
[knock on door]
Hey, Benj.
Cate, you got a sec?
Yeah, Benj, come on in.
You all right, hon? You look a little sick.
Nah, I think I just folded one too many ChickyBoo t-shirts.
Yeah, I know it's a lot man,
but this is the best quarter we've seen in a long time
and your work is--
Cate, I'm quitting.
What?
Benj, why?
I came to RocketJump to make awesome videos that I could be proud of
not fold ChickyBoo t-shirts.
Okay
I get that this is a change of pace for you
but this is what's keeping the company afloat.
You gotta get off your high horse.
Nah.
I'm not gonna do that. In fact, I'm gonna ride that horse
all the way to Connecticut and join the WWE
like I've always dreamed of,
because I am done with this.
Fine, Benji.
Just turn your back on RocketJump.
This
isn't RocketJump anymore, Cate.
[door close]
As you can see,
our profits are higher than ever.
ChickyBoo is making up 82% of our total revenue.
Which brings me to my final point:
the company name.
I propose that we move from RocketJump
to ChickyJump!
[scoff]
Y-you're joking, right? C'mon.
Jamie.
Guys, c'mon.
This is ridiculous. We're not doing this.
[dissonant rising tone]
Cate!
I dunno, Freddie, it's really cute and everybody loves it.
Who cares? That's not the point!
This is what we needed! It's working.
I dunno what you want me to say.
Ja--
[violin trill, music rising tension]
Freddie!
[typewriter clacking]
[rapid typewriter clacking]
[typewriter end-of-line ding]
[squishy waddling sound effect]
Hey!
The hell you think you're doing, huh?
Nobody tries to oust me from my own company!
[ChickyBoo jingle begins]
Cut that crap out it's not gonna work!
Now pack your shit and hit the bricks pal!
[rising suspenseful tone]
Hey-- what are you doing, man? Stay back!
No no no! Hey!
No! [screams]
[gasp]
[dissonant piano notes]
[hard crack]
[dissonant tones continue]
Hi, Cate!
How're you this morning?
Fine, Freddie.
Good!
Oh!
Tsk!
It seems like you missed the memo
about our new mandatory uniform.
Don't worry!
I can fix that!
Right this way!
[cacophonous crescendo]
[whistling]
Follow me into this creepy room.
I don't think I want to do that, Kevin.
I think you do.
Oh my g-- stop! Kevin! Leave me alone!
Kevin! No! Stay back! Leave me alone!
No no no! I'm not one of them.
God...
What the hell's going on out there?
They're ChickyBoo's slaves now.
Oh my god...
We gotta get out of here.
Nonono, we can't leave them like this!
That's our family out there!
Cate... we can get new jobs.
Yeah, you really wanna go back to working at Red Lobster?
[flashback restaurant sounds play]
Dammit!
No.
You're right.
Okay.
I've never seen ChickyBoo without its briefcase thing
since it took over, so maybe if we could get inside
we could figure out what its weakness is.
There's twenty employees out there protecting it.
All we need...
is a distraction.
I'd like to officially announce
that our Lord and Master,
is now the number one selling mascot in the United States.
[rhythmic applause]
Our brand is quickly overtaking the entire world.
Soon, even the president
will probably wear a ChickyBoo t-shirt.
Long live ChickyBoo!
[in unison] Long live ChickyBoo! Long live ChickyBoo!
Long live ChickyBoo! Long live Chicky--
[knuckle crack]
[anime exhale]
[anime shocked grunt]
[squishy waddling sound]
[frightening ChickyBoo laugh]
[evil ChickyBoo laugh]
[swords drawn]
[shocked anime scream]
[attacking grunt]
[blood dripping sound]
[evil ChickyBoo giggle]
Chicky?
チキチキ! (Chicky Chicky!)
Just give in, Cate.
With Chickyboo
the possibilities are endless.
You do realize that this one sponsored tweet alone
can make us twenty thousand dollars?
All you have to do is press send.
Press send.
Chicky!
Do it. Do it!
Chicky!
[Siri tone]
Call Barack Obama.
[Siri voice] Calling Barack Obama...
What are you doing?
[Obama] Uh, hello?
I need a drone strike on the coordinates of this phone.
Uh, sure thing, Freddie.
[distant] Hey, uh, uh, I need a drone strike!
[indistinct military chatter]
No, what are you doing?!
[gasping for air]
I know, ChickyBoo.
But we stopped making
this!
[big gulps of air]
Don't listen to her, ChickyBoo!
Our domination is almost complete!
Long live ChickyBoo!
[in unison] Long live ChickyBoo! Long live ChickyBoo!
Long live ChickyBoo! Lo--
So was I.
[indistinct military chatter; jet turbines]
[squishy waddling sound]
[haunting string trill, chorus]
Ahhhh
What happened?
ChickyBoo's gone.
Man, really?
That sucks.
But he gave us a second chance.
To make RocketJump great again.
You know what, Cate?
I think I know exactly what you mean.
[oral farting noise]
Oops! I pooped myself!
Ha! Good thing I got my RocketJump branded
adult diapers on which I picked up at the RocketJump store
over at shop.rocketjump.com.
In fact, all kinds of deals are happening right now because it's Cyber Monday!
Time to do your holiday shopping!
Hey! Didja like ChickyBoo?
If you want ChickyBoo, we got ChickyBoo for you.
We got shirts, mugs, onesies, anything your heart desires.
You miss VGHS?
Pft. Me, too.
Guess what though? All three seasons available now
as a collector's edition Blu-Ray box set.
Finish your collection! It will look handsome on any shelf.
Pick it up over at shop.rocketjump.com.
We also got a whole bunch of Christmas-themed VGHS stuff.
VGHS bangles, VGHS Christmas ornaments,
if you like VGHS shirts and mugs, pick those up, too!
RocketJump fam? We got all kinds of RocketJump merch as well!
Speaking of RocketJump, don't forget we've got all kinds of cool stuff we're doing all the time
over here on YouTube.com/RocketJump and also on Twitch now!
Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays! Playing video games! Because everyone loves video games!
twitch.tv/rocketjump.
Follow RocketJump on Instagram!
It's just rocketjump!
We got that one pretty luckily, right?
You can check us out on Facebook at rocketjumpdotcom
you gotta spell out D-O-T C-O-M.
In fact, Twitter! rocketjumptweet.
Follow me on Twitter as well! I'm uh,
fwong and also fwong on Instagram.
Uh, quick shout out to Benji! I heard he's doing well wrestling.
Miss ya man!
And Kevin! Kevin, too!
Man. Sorry you died! RIP, buddy.
Oh! And one more thing.
Don't forget, Cyber Monday deals are limited time only so head over to
Shop.RocketJump.com, fill up that basket!
Get that stuff shipped over to you!
You gotta act now if you want it for Christmas!
See ya later!